Readers' Submissions

Catalogue Brides To Order Part 1

  • Written by George
  • December 18th, 2004
  • 7 min read


I’m quite chuffed and to be honest relieved that my first submission was so well received, thank you to the many that have already replied with comments and so many questions and yes most of you are probably right that you may have bumped into me in LOS…to be honest it’s a small world out there and paths do cross regularly especially in the nightlife areas and we’ve all got stories to tell haven’t we? More often than not we have all sat in a bar chatting to the guy on the next stool exchanging our tales of adventure and recommendations for resorts, bars, clubs…..even girls!! So yes you just might have heard the piece before.

During my first week in Bkk 8 years ago, I must surely have been completely naïve to not notice the ease at which you could strike up a “friendship” with the girl on the next table or sitting opposite you in the beer garden in soi 7 or even whilst shopping in Foodland…I just didn’t get it and simply returned the smile and went about my matters in my own blinkered way. I would sit in the Ambassador “Market Restaurant” near the square and eat my dinner amazed at the continuing procession of beauties trotting to the toilets in the market from the bar on Sukhumvit (Can't remember 1st name but its was then Big Boy then Big Blue now its gone after the fire a few new years ago)…..I'd sit with my bowl of Tom Yam and gawp at these stunning girls, thinking that they were maybe just out shopping or with friends on an evening out. I knew that the naughty scene was around the Pong and Nana and I thought (misguidedly…I now know) these were the only places to pick up girls for sex and to be honest at the time I was a bit put off after my Katoey scare the week before so these areas were best avoided to prevent any more drunken mishaps…. But I simply could notice that all these lovelies in “normal” areas were so attentive in there charms and mannerisms. Sitting in the Beer Garden in 7, I again failed to get it…I now think how the hell is this possible not to notice that this bar is anything but a pick up point, but I assure you I just didn’t Khao Jai. I would sit at the bar and order my Singha or Bloody Mary and chat to the staff and customers and when the girls would come and sit with me I would just politely chat away with them totally oblivious to the fact that for not many Baht I could be taking them back to my room for a good shagging.

I hope this now clarifies the fact I was completely out of touch with the goings on here…because its important to understand what happens next.

One reason I was here in Bkk was as support for a friend of mine who had, through a dating agency, contacted a number of “available” ladies who had “education and professional backgrounds”. So here I now was in Bkk alone….So what has happened? My buddy Phil in all his wisdom had buggered up his flight times and ended up getting here a week later. So I met him at the hotel and we hit the town for the night to get him in the mood tomorrow for his “interviews”. As I knew Bangkok so “well” now I took him to this friendly little Beer Garden I knew on Soi 7. We sat there at the bar and got completely shitfaced on Singha, Bloody Marys and later Johnny Black sodas…when I say shitfaced I mean completely smashed! Phil got chatting to this lovely young girl who I'd seen in there before (and smiled to on many occasions)..she was really quite lovely, her name was Nam. Well I was quite surprised when she agreed to come back to the hotel and have some food with us and then I was gob smacked when she went back with Phil to his room…excellent, a shag for Phil on his first night, he was just as “lucky” as I was the week before with Jin the singer.

Well the next day we met up for lunch with Phil who was still with Nam and I was bowled over when he said he was staying with her now and not going to the office for his meetings with these ladies he had picked from his catalogue. So in all my common sense and after a hair of the dog (4 more Sings and 2 double Black sodas), I decided I would go to the office and pretend to be Phil (Phil had paid up front so it would have been a crime to miss out).

So as 2:00 PM neared I showered and put on my best shirt and trousers and waltzed off to the office near Ploenchit and bang on time I was there with Mrs. Pim the manageress ushering me into this quite smart lobby area with leather sofas and a wall covered in pictures of farang guys with their Thai brides, all of whom I expect were introduced by the services of the office….things were looking up. After explaining to Pim that it was best to call me by my nickname of George as nobody calls me Phil my “real name”, we sat down and began to look through the company “catalogue” which to be honest was full of gorgeous ladies of all ages. Pim told me to pick 4 today and she would contact them and try to arrange a meeting sometime later. I was like a kiddy in a sweet shop and eventually I settled on 4 stunning girls all around 22 to 25 with particular attention to be made for one named Sammy, who just seemed to have that little something more about her…Then after calling the girls I was amazed when Pim said that they were all on their way to meet me now! (What happened to their jobs I thought…after all it was only 2:30 and they were all “professional ladies“?).

So there I was enjoying a glass of mango crush and nibbling on some Thai snacks when the first girl arrived whose name I cant remember, but her details said aged 22, 5 feet 4 tall, never married, BA in Marketing, works as store assistant, spoken English very good. Sounded great and to be honest she was stunning and looked more like an 18 year old than a girl of 22.. I was in heaven. Then Pim introduced us and we sat on the couch together and to my surprise Pim stayed in the room with us.

“Where you come from” I ask my “future wife”…Pim then talks to her in Thai and says back to me “ Khon Kaen..its in the North East”…

“Where do you work” I said.

Pim then once more asked this girl in Thai and once more replied for her “Robinsons on Silom Road”.

“Mai Ow” she bleated to Pim…

So after 20 minutes of this I told Pim that I'd had enough and this was just a no goer and sadly I said goodbye to this stunning girl.

“Mai Pen Rai” said Pim “Sammy is here, she speak good English”.

So in walks Sammy and once more I am taken aback by her looks and her smile is just sublime. “Hi“ she says and then turns to Pim..“ Oiiiii…. Suey Mak Maak!“, she says and they both laugh together…

Well to cut it short Sammy spoke reasonably good English and was addictively charming and great company so I asked Pim what do I do next. “Take her for meal” she said “if you not like then come back tomorrow and I get more for you “….

Off I went back to the Vit’ with the gorgeous Sammy, a girl who to all intents and purpose had cost my buddy Phil close to a grand for “ME” to end up taking out………Nice one Phil!

To Be Continued

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