Readers' Submissions

A Parent Writes Again

  • Written by Anonymous
  • December 2nd, 2004
  • 11 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Anonymous Submission


Talk about stirring up a hornet’s nest! The abuse continues to head in my direction, for no other reason than I wanted to persuade sex tourists around the world that Thailand’s international schools weren’t the best place for them to set up shop.

It’s been clear that all the abuse has come from sex tourists, including a few who claim to be teachers. What is noticeable, however, is that no parents have written in to say that they disagree with my assertion and that they would welcome the chance for their offspring to be educated by whoremongers and sex tourists. I wonder why? Maybe I’m wrong, so perhaps I could appeal to all the fellow parents who visit Stickman’s site who are happy with the prospect of sex tourist teachers to write in and say so. (I won’t be holding my breath!).

I’m a great believer in free speech and don’t normally get into arguments but one of the most recent posters called me a ‘Dumbarse’ and ‘Unenlightened’ so I feel I have to post a rebuttal. Plus, it’ll give me a chance to expand on my argument.

+++ I'm writing to register a strong note of protest against the two recent contributors to your site who maintain that anyone patronizing the "naughty nightlife" scene has no business teaching. At first blush, yes, these fellows may well appear to have morality and decency on their side. Consider, if you will, though: Doesn't an interest in ADULT WOMEN suggest that the teacher in question is probably NOT, in fact, a pedophile? In other words, the fact that he's messing around at Nana Plaza might well suggest that he's not into messing around with the teenaged gals at his school. +++

No one said anything about paedophiles. This isn’t about paedophiles. It’s about sex tourists. Paedophiles have no place in society. None at all. All paedophiles should be in prison. The only people who would argue with this are paedophiles.

I wasn’t talking about paedophiles. All I was doing was to explain that the position of all the good international schools, is that men who go messing around in Nana Plaza are not suitable people to be teaching young children. It doesn’t matter what my view of sex tourists is. Hell, some of my best friends are whoremongers. But what I was saying is that internationals schools prefer not to hire single males, not unless there is clear evidence that the guy is not in Thailand for the wrong reasons. The original posting that started this thread suggested that guys who ‘like the feel of Asian skin’ should consider applying for jobs at international schools in Thailand. I simply pointed out that most of them simply would not be hired.

One guy wrote in to say that the reason most schools preferred to hire married couples was because they could save money on the accommodation allowance. Wrong, wrong, wrong. For a start, I was told by one headmaster that married couples were the teachers of preference exactly because it gave them a home to go back to at night. And the monetary argument just doesn’t stand up. The way rents work in Thailand, the rent on two one-bedroomed apartments is pretty much the same as a big two or three-bedroomed place. Plus, most married couples bring their children to Thailand, and the schools give scholarships to the children. A couple of kids can effectively add seven or eight hundred thousand baht a year to the compensation package. So no saving there, then! Schools don’t hire married couples because it’s cheaper – they hire married couples because it gives them a stable, family unit which is far more preferable than a sex-hungry whoremonger prowling around the Thermae at one o’clock in the morning.

+++ 2) Isn't it only natural to pursue a sexual outlet of some description, however moral or otherwise? If the teacher in question is unmarried, unattached (for whatever reason), how much can he really be blamed for looking for sexual fulfillment where he can get it? +++

No one said teachers shouldn’t pursue a sexual outlet. No one said they shouldn’t have girlfriends. Or boyfriends. We’re not talking about teachers having sexual relations. Of course they should. But what is not acceptable is for teachers to be hanging around red light areas picking up prostitutes. It isn’t acceptable in their own countries and it is not acceptable here.

A teacher in the UK or the States who was found to be hanging around prostitutes on their hours off would be sacked. In the UK, the married headmaster of a major public school was dismissed for having an affair with another teacher. Is that fair? It’s not about fairness. It’s about setting moral standards for the educators of our children. That goes just as much here as it does back in Europe or the States.

The teachers who have verbally attacked me have said that they are entitled to do as they wish, providing they do the job they are being paid for. I’m sorry, but this is not the case. It wouldn’t be the case in their own country and it’s not the case in Thailand. I can understand how guys who have been in Thailand for a short time think that morals and attitudes are different here. Trust me, they are not. If anything, teachers here are held in a higher regard than elsewhere in the world. In some ways Thailand can be a trap for the unwary. Because the Thais appear to be so easy-going, newcomers think that morals are laxer. Guys who have been here for a short time think that the Thais regard old men walking hand-in-hand with girls half their age as acceptable. They don’t. Sex tourists think it is acceptable to sit drinking beer in Soi Nana wearing shorts and t-shirt and flip-flops during the day. It isn’t.

And anyone who thinks that wealthy Thais, or the expats who pay top dollar to send their kids to international schools, are willing to accept sex tourists as teachers is sadly mistaken. We don’t. And we won’t.

One guy posted that if a parent complained to a headmaster about a sex tourist teacher, nothing would be done. This is not true. For a start, in most good international schools, the school rules forbid teachers to visit sex-for-sale establishments. And even if that wasn’t the case, a group of angry parents would have no problem at all in getting a sex-tourist teacher dismissed. Why? Because in the private school system, parents have the power. I pay almost four hundred thousand baht a year in school fees. Over the course of my daughter’s time at the school, I’ll be paying almost six million baht. If I and five other parents walk into a headmaster’s office we speak for a combined income of 36 million baht. If we demand that a sex tourist teacher is given his marching orders, he goes. And bear in mind farang teachers can easily be replaced in Thailand. There is a huge oversupply at the moment. Even good, well-qualified, experienced teachers can find it hard to get into a top international school.

+++Seriously, Stickman, I beg you: If you were not married, if you had no girlfriend, if you were lonely and frustrated and etc. (just imagine–okay?), would you not at least feel TEMPTED to have a look into the naughty bars? Come on!: You KNOW you would, and I don't blame you for it. +++

Don't judge everyone by your own low standards! Just because you find it hard to get a regular girlfriend, don’t assume that everyone else picks up hookers. You have fallen into the trap that catches a lot of guys who come to Thailand for the wrong reasons – that immoral behaviour is somehow more acceptable here. It isn’t.

+++In case you haven't guessed, this topic really "pushed my buttons." In fact, it got me downright angry–though I hasten to add that my anger is directed solely at your unenlightened letter writers, and not at you, Stickman. Here's why: I teach children. I've also been to Nana and the other nightlife venues many, many times. That having been said, I can swear to you on a stack of bibles, on my mother's grave, on anything and everything sacred, that I would never in a million years think of sexually abusing a child. Why? Because I just plain wouldn't. Because it's just plain wrong. Because unless you're that one person in a thousand with no sense of morals at all, you draw certain lines in the sand. You will never, ever, ever rob a bank. You will never, ever, ever kill in cold blood (though you rationally can't rule out the remote possibility that if forced to defend yourself you could seriously hurt the aggressor).+++

Hmmm. You are a teacher of young children who is a regular visitor to a place of prostitution? Okay. Here’s my position. Anyone who regularly visits places of prostitution is a totally unsuitable person to be teaching children. Any children. It’s not about abuse. It’s not about being a paedophile. It’s about your lack of a moral code. And I am pretty sure that if your bosses knew about your sexual leanings they would feel the same. Want to prove me wrong? Identify yourself. I’ll talk to a few parents at your school, show them your posting, and we’ll see how long you keep your job! Come on, put up or shut up! If you feel that you are doing nothing wrong, stand up for your convictions! You won’t, of course. Because you know that most people do not hold your views. Most people hold teachers to a higher moral standard. Most people expect teachers to set a good example. They do not expect teachers to be picking up prostitutes in their off hours. I’m sorry if you find that unpalatable, but it is a fact.

+++ In summary, to the fathers of teenage girls out there who are so damn insistent that any teacher caught "bouncing a prostitute up and down on his knee in Nana Plaza" must be fired immediately, I would like to say, Jesus Christ man, are you out of your mind? HE'S WITH A HOOKER, YOU DUMBASS, NOT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER–AND YES, THERE'S ONE HELL OF A DIFFERENCE! +++

See, there you go, insulting me rather than attacking my argument. It is your very attitude – that she’s a hooker therefore not worthy of consideration – that makes you an unsuitable man to be a teacher. She’s not my daughter, but she’s somebody’s daughter. And we fathers do have the right to decide who we allow to educate our children. You might not like that fact, but it is a fact nonetheless. You can kick and scream and moan and insult me for all you are worth, but it doesn’t change the facts.

+++ Finally, will you agree with me, Stickman, that it is possible, after all, to be SCRUPULOUSLY MORAL in most everything that life may throw at you, while nonetheless being tormented by sexual desires, which, for the single unattached man, are very, very difficult to deal with except within the narrow semi-legal bounds of "naughty nightlife," etc. I've never had so much as a parking ticket in my entire life, rarely give offense of any sort to anyone, and still, YES, I will indulge in sex with the occasional STRICTLY ADULT woman who may be willing to provide the service on a STRICTLY CONSENSUAL basis, and I am very, very sorry that it has to be this way. If I could find a wife, the whoring would be done with forever tomorrow.+++

Again, no mention of a regular girlfriend, just of paying for sex. Why do you find it so difficult to find a regular girl, why are you forced to frequent ‘naughty nightlife’? I think we all know the answer to that question. And that, my friend, is what makes you totally unsuitable to be teaching children. I’m sure you’ll disagree. So why don’t we both approach your bosses, see what they say?

Stickman's thoughts:

The final line says it all. Whether one can be a naughty boy and turn up for class and do a good job is a moot point. But in ultra image conscious Thailand, if it is known that the teacher is out at the naughty bars, that is enough for him to be down the road.