Readers' Submissions

Discovering Asian Women

  • Written by Anonymous
  • November 15th, 2004
  • 6 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Many people might complain you do not write concerning the naughty nightlife enough lately but to me you are more valuable to readers doing what you are doing currently. That's it, keeping your eyes wide open while indulging in Thai culture and writing about your experiences. Your latest article on control was impressive to me.

I wouldn't say impressive just because it coincides with my thoughts. But to me the behaviour you describe of Asian woman is exactly as what I saw so many times.

First of all and very important to me, I would not stress the word "Thai" woman! It is definitely an Asian issue. Vietnamese woman are at least similar and as you correctly state, the issue at hand is not comparable with behaviour in the west.

You know, most Western men venturing into Asia with the specific purpose of getting themselves a girlie, are those fed up with emancipated woman of the west. Logically they are looking for a feminine, sweet, even sexy girl. That's all good and well what the outside is concerned. But mostly they do not realize what they get on the inside. And as they – those western man I mean – are quite helpless or at least not very able in many cases to sort out their own lives even back at home they are in a very delicate position. And, for that, you give them perfect insight in your latest Weekly.

Let's get things clear. Many western – and even some Asian I would say – man think those Asian barbies are a bit stupid, not thinking a lot but rather wanting to perform in bed, and are just feminine to please their husbands which they adore… Oh boy how wrong they are.

Asian woman are so clever. They know that you admire their beauty – although they will forever doubt if they are beautiful enough compared to the girl next door – and their feminine way of loving you comes at a price. They are super jealous, want to be listened at, more accurately they want things to go their way ALL the time. They are very sensitive as well when it comes to presents as regard it as a must, or a tool for fixing trouble nas you correctly state.

Recently I was in Vietnam with my wife and they put a very comic – but oh so real – Vietnamese comedy on the local television. It was about two man married to beautiful Vietnamese woman. Outside of the house the woman allowed their man to tell them off, the woman would behave inferior (Can't find the exact English word I am looking for…), when family came to the house the man was bitching at his wife telling her the food was cold, not well prepared, etc… to show his family he had the upper hand at home.
As soon the family was gone he got punished, had to clean the house, was taken roughly by the ear while told what to do, and had to buy her presents for being able (allowed) to show his superiority. Everybody laughed a lot, except me, because in this short series was pure truth instead of comedy – and those people laughing at it knew it as well.

So what my experiences is concerned. Jealousy is the main thing. Don't think even of talking too much of your old female friends. She can talk and email to whatever boy of course or did you not understand? Then they want to be on top of running of the house, finances, etc… I see many hard working man in Vietnam but if people come to the house to pay the services of the work of the man they deal with his wife who keeps a book with all the financial accounts…

Now that's not the way I live with my Vietnamese wife. And sometimes I have to remind her we are not in Hanoi. She has the tendency to shut down, yes that is to stop talking completely as to put firm pressure on you. Even after 2 days you will have to start the conversation. While in such a situation she might not give you a goodnight kiss, and don't even think to make love, she will even (try to) behave coldly if you touch her… Yes Asian woman are not that simple from the inside. If things get really dire, not in my case, but I've seen it regularly the word "suicide" might appear somewhere… Anyway. I won't make this email too long but you (we) got the point I think.

As what possible remedies is concerned. I think first as to who is right here. If she has a point, and sometimes she has, I have no problem apologizing and rectifying the situation. If she's not right and keeps on behaving stubborn then I can only say, switch off too and show more character then her. I have to say that I have a lot of patience in trying to start up a conversation. And if I say a lot then I mean an awful lot.

But if all those attempts are responded with an incredible stubborn mind then I stop calling, talking, emailing, even might prepare my own food telling her absolutely not to bother about me, come home and start working ignoring my environment, etc… After such days of tensions – not for me that is because if she doesn't want to talk and I give up on the situation then the tensions are over what me is concerned – I never forget to give her a sweet goodnight kiss when we get into bed, maybe with a sweet touch somehow to make her melt down and to think again. For me it mostly works out fine this way and without wanting to hurt anyone I have to say that I have mostly more character then her. For me, if people don't want to live with me, don't want to kiss me, don't want to make food, so let it be. If it is not done out of love then I don't need it. I can perfectly manage my life on my own. That is an important point where many man fail I think. If you are not able to manage your life on your own then you are in a weak position and your Asian sweety will get the most out of it.

Once again, "they" are not all the same just as "we" are not all the same. But western man should think twice before they talk about Asian sweeties that's clear.

After reading such statements people could easily swing to the other extreme thinking Asian woman are bitches (how I hate this word). They are neither barbies nor bitches. Their super jealous behaviour is so often related to a deep rooted love for you. That should never be forgotten even if they overreact when they feel threatened. A statement that speaks for Asian women in comparison to western is that Asian "Good" girls as to speak, will never fool around with other boys in bed. This is definitely more true in Asia as in the west. Then again I think you don't meet such "good" girls in a bar or at such sceneries. After having made over 15 travels all over SE Asia in the latest 7 years, each travel lasting a month or so, I am probably the only westerner left who still has to be introduced to a naughty bar. All the people I know over there are very "against" that scene and don't want to converse about it at all. And that's fine I think because over the years I have come to know a lot of extremely nice people over there.

Stickman's thoughts:

Great article!