Readers' Submissions

Big Math

  • Written by NSUU
  • November 2nd, 2004
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Not So Ugly American


BIG MATH – Dear Mr. Shaker and alternate universe

My parents worked hard many years in rice fields to raise their children. My wife and I now send our young daughter to Bangkok so we no work hard any more (silly parents).

We now relax every day 9am (silly parents use to wake at 6am to work the fields), my wife not wake until 10am (she out very late gamble with other wives), and she tired gamble hard work. When daughter my best friend (Wan) laid off factory job in Bang-Kae we tell her silly girl go to Pattaya so your parents can relax like us. She lovely, quiet girl, always respectful and caring to her parents. So she show big respect and take next bus Bangkok.

Her younger brother and sister studying, extra income Wan now send to home help family living expenses and keep 'O' and 'Nid' at school. We all not rich but happy and content living our simple lives . . .

. . . until you and your type come here!

Poor Wan – SHE change! Wan now not working so much in Pattaya. She meet you one day and you give her crazy idea. You show her big math. You show her she send thousands of baht home and cost of living in Isaan not so big – where all the money go she ask? We try explain she must show big respect and keep send big money. Now she no listen. You bad for daughter thoughts.

Her father want advice to her but she not want listen him. She not understand big money equal big respect. Can you see? Sister Nid say she leave high school, why study many year to work nine hour, six day only one month 6000 baht? She see Wan have friends make easy money in the 'tourist trade' Her boyfriend, she know him together 6 year, study for engineer, cry to her. They were to marry when he graduate next year. But money engineer Thailand no same money 'falang' business so she not to stay him now.

Mr Shaker, you make my heart heavy, not only for me . . for all Isan parents. My country you change. My daughters you change. But you think you Mr BIG, so clever, so smart just because have big wallet. But not sensitive, not see, not understand what you do to us. You have fun, think you big man and all can do by yourself. Look around, Mr Shaker. Open your eyes (maybe open your heart) not hard to see what happen by what you do. Respect for parents no more – why you show daughter big math? How me and wife can relax who fill daughter thoughts with big math?

Yes, you visit family with daughter, we smile you. When daughter visit family – big money visit family too. We want relax must let SNAKE in house to get daughter big money.

Mr. Shaker, young girl not understand. Parent teach show big respect, send money make family proud – you teach big math, break mother heart see big money no come any more. Now we fear she teach big math to next daughter as soon she go Pattaya. How we can do? Even two daughter Pattaya now less money one daughter after you teach big math. Now two daughter no listen mother and father. Now two daughter show little respect for family.

THEN you say we not care her, not care anything, we only care money. Isaan parents hate you for you teach big math! Because you stupid, you come here, look down on us, cannot understood our way of life, cannot understood what you destroy. You think you know better but you understand NOTHING.

I tell you before my parents work very long day, sun-up to sun-down always in the fields. My wife and I send daughter to city and we finally relax. We not rich, everybody like some whiskey, everybody like gamble this is life for us. But you destroy us. You destroy daughter respect for family. You destroy our life. Why you teach big math?

Mr. Shaker I tell you this. 300 baht short time, 1000 baht long time OK, jai-dee, Sanook. Thank you.

Teach daughter big math you change us to bad. Why you crazy think daughter need know big math? Why you destroy our life? You make us send third daughter to Bangkok. Must keep away from first and second daughter in Pattaya – they might teach her big math too.

You take away daughter respect for family. You take away my whiskey. You take away my wife gamble money. You take away our freedom.

KEEP BIG MATH YOURSELF! IT DESTROY US!

You want help. You not teach daughter. You give big tip, we send daughter school ourselves. School not teach crazy FARANG BIG MATH.

Stickman's thoughts:

Fun, but I think that’s enough for the impersonations.