By K Dub
I've been to Thailand 6 times in the past two and a half years. Each time I go I seem to have more and more questions. Some people bring home little wooden carvings of naked women in sexual poses, I bring home question marks.
Here are just a few….
The door of my 777 opens, I feel the heat I have been waiting for, then the smell hits. I know I have arrived. What is that smell??? No other city I have been to in the world has that smell. Why is it that after being away for 5 months I can walk into Angels's Disco in the Nana Hotel and find the same girls, standing in the same areas, as the last time I was there?
Why is it so much easier to meet women in Thailand than here in the west? I'm not alking "working girls" either. If I spend three weeks there I will probably meet two or three very nice, pretty girls that seem interested in me. American women seem to walk around with an invisible shield around them that is tough to break through sometimes.
Why do the hotels in the Sukhumvit area even consider carpet in the rooms? I hate carpet, to me it's just a big odor sponge. Some of the so-called nice hotels stink in my opinion. Imagine Dana having his tranny breakfast just hours before you arrive. Not that there is anything wrong with tranny breakfasts…to each his own…but the whole area needs rooms that can be hosed down. I have a list of two star hotels with tile floors. Cheap, clean, and odor free. Why do the police wear such tight pants?
Why is the driver of a motorbike required to wear a helmet but not passenger(s)? <Actually, passengers are required, but in the Sukhumvit area, the cops are relaxed and don’t always enforce it as it is in most other areas – Stick>
Why do the Sukhumvit soi dogs seem to pick the worst possible place to sleep? How can any creature sleep within a few meters of an old diesel bus?
Why is the major southern resort area on Phuket when the Krabi area is much more beautiful? What's that clear plastic thing doing on the 50 baht note?
Why is it that after 6 trips I have yet to meet a Thai woman that I'd refer to as a "bitch". I seem to use it here at home and it doesn't take that long to find a candidate. Yes, some Thai women have their problems, I'm sure you have read the stories on this site. But, I still have yet to pull that word out when over there.
Why does it seem like there are more women than men? Even outside the tourist areas it seems that way. My home town is the opposite…one big sausage fest.
Do the beggars really think we fall for the tomato sauce for blood stain bit?
Why is it that I am so attracted to women with small hips? Not..no hips, but small hips. No need to call me a latent homosexual either. And, why was Thailand blessed with such a large concentration of women with them?
Am I really a "handsome man"?
Why is it that the girls at one of the Sukhumvit beer bars I frequent seem to know my every move? I visit the palace…they know. I talk to a woman on Soi Cowboy…they know. I take same lady to my room…they know. I walk down the street with a different lady…my mobile rings only to hear, "Who your lady?". Spooky. Did they import some of those street cameras from Singapore?
How can Took Lae Dee call that an American Breakfast? Someone, please, import some Idaho potatoes and corn oil.
Why so much soap advertising? TV, billboards, everywhere I look there are ads for some sort of soap. I've been using the same brand for almost 20 years. There's no pondering soap for me. Beer, yes…soap, no. And, what's with the people
in the ads? You know the ones, so white they glow. Who are these soap people? These people are more Michael Jackson than Thai. I never see these people walking around town. I've checked every go-go in Bangkok and all I find are these beautiful
brown ladies. One day I'll find these soap people….
Why do tuk-tuk drivers continue to follow me even after I have told them.."no thanks"? Do people actually give in after 30 meters or so? Does "no thanks" translate to "follow me for awhile I may change my mind" in Thai?
Why do the street vendors think that just because I made eye contact with them that I am destined to purchase something from them? Do not make eye contact!
Why do they allow children to sell flowers at those late hours of the evening?
Why is it that the Thai people seem so efficient when working alone but in groups it's a bit chaotic? Why do people make so many general statements about Thai women? Quite the diverse group in my opinion. Even amongst the "working girls" you will find all types. I have met a few pros but also a few part-timers that actually have day jobs. Some are even quite well educated, maybe just a little short on cash at the moment, or just love the thrill of it all.
Why is it that I've actually thought about quitting my perfectly good job back home to travel half way around the world to teach English? It's the very subject I dreaded in school!
Why do I love this place so much?
And after another six trips you’ll probably have even more questions, while these ones remain unanswered. The mystique is a lot of the attraction.