Stickman Readers' Submissions January 19th, 2004

First Timer’s View Of Bangkok

Friday 07.11.03 – NZ

Weather: Cloudy 16 degrees

He Clinic Bangkok

Went to the Wellington Airport with Shannon and Craig. Traffic was medium, and had a few bottlenecks, but we arrived in plenty of time. Shannon went and had a look at the shops (no surprise there), and Craig and I had coffee.

Boarded at 1030 and flew to Auckland without a hiccup arriving there at 1130.

My baggage (all one of them), was transferred direct to Bangkok and I was given my boarding pass then too, so no hassles getting sorted at Auckland.

CBD bangkok

Nice day in Auckland. Had lunch Chicken Udon soup. Sent a few emails from a Net Kiosk. Cruised around the duty free shops but decided to buy stuff on the way back in.

Boarded Thai Airways TG992 at 1430 and was immediately met by several stunningly gorgeous Thai women attendants. Damn they are gorgeous people. They gave me the traditional “wai” greeting, which I didn’t return (not used to it yet). Got seated in 63E middle seat with tons of room, and we took off at 1500.

Great service throughout the flight, left any other airline I have been on for dead. Thai people know service, big time. Had three in flight meals, several vodka tonics, with Singha beer chasers. Got a bit buzzed, as the beer is 6%!!! Nice beer too. I think I will stick with that. In flight movies were ok. Met two new people and struck up a conversation with a drop dead gorgeous blond, tanned Swedish babe, Svenka, who unfortunately was travelling with her family or the way we were hitting it off things may have gotten interesting. Her Dad kept giving me warning looks as I would if the tables were turned. She was 22, oh yeah, I’m the man. Hehe.

Landed at Sydney International at 1530 local time, and spent 1 hour cruising around duty free there. If I had known this I would have arranged to meet Annah there. Maybe on the way back.

wonderland clinic

Flew out of Sydney at 1630 and got into the long haul. Much of the same, flirting with the hostesses, and Svenka (who unfortunately was connecting at Bangkok for London, damn).

Slept for about three hours, and woke up to eat, kept away from the booze as I didn’t want to dehydrate. Arrived at Bangkok at 2230 local time. 14 hours flying total.

Whizzed through immigration after being scrutinised by a surly Thai customs chick who had the personality of a dial tone. First one I have met not happy.

Got my bag, and walked out of customs without a hitch. Was greeted by hundreds of people wanting me to take one of their taxis, but I had someone meeting me there from World Travel Service with a name board. I went outside and had a smoke, was awesomely warm for night time, 32 degrees and 98 % humidity. My fav.

Got into a Volvo with my WTS driver, and was limoed to the Indra Regent. Took about 20 mins. We drove through some back alleys and had an interesting drive there. Saw a lot of poverty on the side streets. People working well into the night, on suits etc in back alley shops.

Was met at the door, checked in, nice hotel, albeit a little dated. Nice room, but probably nowhere near as nice as the Merlin Beach resort in Phuket. Will let you know.

Had a shower, shaved, and went down to the lobby. Met Piep the door dude and as promised he had a taxi waiting for me.

Mr Piep is his name, good guy. Said he would take me to a bar where he knew the owner, and would fix me up with cold Singha beer and “many pretty lady for you”. He kept saying they would love my skin and coloring..too funny. He said he will be my personal driver for the time in Bangkok. Cheap rates too, and I won’t get ripped off. He waits for you all day if necessary for 500 baht. That’s $20!!!! <Remember, he is talking New Zealand dollarsStick>

We drove for about 10 mins. Lots of people moving around Patpong. Very busy at 0100. Pulled up outside a bar, seemed kinda dark and dingy but went inside after several handshakes wais and back claps, and walked into a well appointed bar. There were, no shit, 30 plus girls there in various outfits all sitting waiting to be chosen. Stuff all other people in the bar either. I was met by the owner who gave me a cold Singha, and I sat down and began to peruse the GORGEOUS babes there. I was in heaven. They ranged in age from 18 up to about 26. All perfect figures, and many were trying hard to get me to choose them. Not slutty, just nice eye contact etc.

I took my time and chose MaeLee, who is currently lying in bed behind me as I type this after some seriously torrid multiple sessions last night. She is 19, 5’2”, weighs about 50 KGs max, and has the most gorgeously soft sensual skin, hair and big brown eyes you could imagine. Yum, yum, yum.

We left the bar after about 45 mins and both got chauffeured back to the hotel by Mr Pie. We showered, had a couple of drinks and got down to business. This girl knows how to treat a man. OMG!! I must have done her every way imaginable. Busy night on the workbench. We showered at around 0400 and fell asleep in each others arms.

Friday 07.11.03- Bangkok

Woke up this morning at 0900 and just looked at her sleeping. She is like a doll. Kissed her all over and smelled and tasted that gorgeous skin. It is like silk, truly like silk.

Had a raging morning boner after this but left her sleeping, and had a shower. Will take her to breakfast, and then probably she will show me the markets etc. Will have another session in the sack I am sure before we leave this morning.

I am gonna have to watch myself here. I could fall in love with the woman, they are soooo genuine and gorgeous.

Well better wake her up and take her to breakfast. It is 38 degrees today and majorly humid. Perfect.

Will let you know how the day pans out. Hmmm..she is sitting up in bed, and oh she wants me to come back into bed…OK… Later…

Saturday 08.11.03 – Bangkok

Weather: Overcast – 38 degrees Humid

Well the day has started off pretty well. My companion left after a nice buffet breakfast at the hotel. She was fun. Very athletic.

Went down to the lobby and Mr Pie is not working today so I am out with tour guide Jackie. Good dude.

He took me to a gem making factory, security guards with AK47’s and Glocks. Shitloads of people in tour buses. Thank God I have a private driver with A/C in his Volvo. They love Volvo’s these dudes. I bought Pam and Shannon some pretty expensive jewellery for Christmas gifts. Sapphires for Shannon and Rubies for Pam set in 18K gold earrings.

I also bought a bunch of cool clothes for Shannon. I have to find Pam and the boys some stuff too.

Had a nice lunch for a whopping 800 baht. Was a seafood feast. All fresh HUGE lobster and HUGE king prawns. Washed down with several Singha beers, my fav.

Well the suggestion of going and getting a Thai massage was too great for me and Jackie took me to “special place for you Mr Mike, no ploblem, girl look after you. Very pretty Thai girl. They will say you velly hansum man, sure”. We drove to a nice looking establishment in central Bangkok, and I sat down had a Singha, paid the usual bar fine of two drinks for each girl, yep, I went all out and chose two beautiful babes. One about 18, the other 25. The first was obviously new and shy. Tall slim and nice tits. The second was an angel. She was just on size 6, my personal fav, great ass, small tits, and a model quality face and smile.

This is totally the best service I have ever had. They had a huge spa bath full of bubbles and nice smelling something. Both stripped down and got in with me and washed every thing I have, and I mean everything, for about 30 minutes. We played “find the body parts” under the soap and Snorky by this time was up and as angry as a hornet's nest. I love what seafood does for me, forget Viagra.

The girls then rinsed me off, stood me on a towel and covered me in scented oil. They then did the same to each other and we lay down on a lilo covered in oil, and I was treated to an incredible double body slide. What a sensation that is. I now know what a sandwich feels like.

After that I was rinsed off again as were they, and be both moved to a HUGE King Size bed where I set up a game of “Tag Team”. I spent the next 45 minutes doing some pretty disgusting stuff to both of them, all the while obviously changing Snorky covers, as I want to be very safe for me and them, and Snorky was doing the business. The rest you can imagine.

Finished with the girls and decided to spend the evening and night with Are, the size 6 girl. Set up an appointment to pick her up at 2100 that night, for a pretty good price for “long time”. She was very keen and said to me “You have velly good power, you have Viagra? No baby, this is just Mikees love. Hehehe.”

We left and then went shopping in the markets, went to the main Buddhist temple which is magnificent, and took shitloads of photos. Also outside the Kings Palace, and with some Thai cops. Chatted with heaps of very friendly people and generally had a great time.

Went to Patpong, and Jackie set me up with a BKK GoGo bar show. Yawn, boring. Seen better, although the balloon shooting darts out of the pussy was interesting. Bought too many drinks for the girl that latched on to me, even after Jackie warning me about that, d’oh! I just love these people, and I treat them with genuine respect, and I think they pick up on that.

Went back to the Thai massage place at 2100 and picked up Are who was looking even more stunning than this morning. Met an English dude who wanted to pay me 3000 baht to let him take her. Told him politely that we had an arrangement and good luck to him. Took her out to dinner at a fresh seafood restaurant and had several dishes. Lobster and prawns again, and rice with all manner of fresh seafood in it. Had a nice bottle of Californian Chardonnay, which I think isn’t as good as NZ wine.

Spent three hours there just talking and kissing, feeding each other, and generally enjoying our time together. Jackie waited the whole time for us. I am gonna tip him good, it’s his living.

Left at midnight, and went back to my hotel. Paid Jackie 3000 baht and 2000 baht tip as he was a legend. I know he made commissions on the gems and suits, but hey, it was my first time in BKK and I liked the guy. Hope it feeds his family. You get back what you give in this life, sure.

Once the door closed she literally tore my clothes off, and we played around on the bed for a while. She then went and showered, and I did after her, and we then got down to business again. I won’t bore you with the details, but it was an epic match, World Cup stuff if I do say so myself. I am a God. She also let me take some digi cam pics for “the collection”. Good girl.

Fell asleep in each others arms, and woke at 5.30. Had a final session (quick one) ,and what a way to start the day. Snorky is bit worn out right now. Oh, by the way, Thai chicks love shaved pills as well. Nice move Mikee..hehe.

Sunday 09.11.03 – Bangkok

Got downstairs with 10 minutes to spare, uplifted my suits and shirts that I had made for me in ONE day, and got driven to the airport.

Flew Thai Airways to Phuket, and landed at around 10.30. Was driven to my hotel by another World Travel Service personal driver while all the other suckers got into vans and buses. Lucky me. I was immediately struck by the beauty of this place compared to Bangkok. Much cleaner and cruisy compared to the hustle and bustle of Bangkok. I have made the right decision by spending 90% of my time here in Phuket.

Checked in to the Merlin Beach resort by Tri Trang Beach, and was waited on hand and foot in a very comfortable open air lounge. This place is a PALACE. True 5+ star resort. The pools are blue and clear, the bars look great, the restaurants look awesome, and you can’t move without someone tactfully wanting to assist you, and not wanting a tip every ten metres.

My room is over the top, truly magnificent. The place is only 3 years old, and it shows. The same room in NZ would surely be $500 plus per night. I am on the top floor overlooking Pool 1 of 3. I have a view of the Andaman Sea, and it rocks.

Showered, got changed and went down to the lobby. I picked a taxi driver (private car), negotiated 500 baht for the rest of the day, and off we went into Patong. Went to a few open air markets and bought more fake name brand stuff for Shannon, and ate some of the most awesome food at one of the stalls there. A three course lunch only cost me 400 baht with beers, Singha of course.

Went to a pistol shooting range and spent 3000 baht hammering targets with a Czech 9mm, nice weapon, but not balanced too well, with tritium open sights. First groupings were a bit loose, as I haven’t fired a weapon since AOS days. Got warmed up and sent the targets down to the furtherest point (20 metres) and began to belt out clips. Ended up grouping 5cm-10 cm which with open sights which is pretty good at that long range… I still got it.

I then changed to an Italian .45 semi auto with a pro point laser dot sight. Fucking awesome weapon. The thing is a cannon. I would not want to get hit with that bad boy, would make a mess and I have made a mess before, several times (I think you know what I mean) . 5 cm – 7cm groupings. Pretty happy with that.

Went to a motorcycle hire place and negotiated a 3 day hire of a 2001 Honda GSXR 600 with Two Brothers Racing aftermarket pipe. This baby hauls, I will have to be careful, as I am only wearing light clothes. This will be a great way to ride around Phuket, stopping when I want. Robbie did the same when he was here, so good advice. Thanks Robbie.

Rode back to the hotel, showered for the third time, you really need to here due to the heat. I like clean. Changed and jumped on the bike and headed back to Patong. Decided that unless an absolute goddess approaches me I am giving Snorky a rest tonite. I am also a bit jaded, wonder why?

Spent the evening drag racing the streets with locals on scooters, kicked their arses (no shit), and felt like a wanker, so stopped doing it. I even had a race with a cop. His idea. Imagine.

Did the markets and saw some fantastic antique Buddhist stuff, and the usual. Pain in the ass being stopped every 10 metres by peddlers, but shit, they are doing this to survive, not make money. So I bought some stuff. I have decided I will buy all my ciggies and other shit like that from street peddlers cos I feel pretty darn fortunate with my life compared to them. I also pay double (160 baht ) for cigs, but who gives a shit.

Had another killer seafood dinner at a local food stall, sweated like a bastard as I ate deep sea bass caught fresh that day, steamed veges and rice with hot hot hot spices, washed down with Singha. 450 baht…cheap food.

Hit the sack at 2300 and Snorky got his well earned rest. I will make up for it tonight me thinks.

Monday 10.11.03 – Phuket

Weather: Sunny 36 degrees, Humid.

Woke up at 0600, got up and went out onto my balcony overlooking Pool 1, and did some push ups, squats and crunches.

Showered, and went down to the open air buffet breakfast. Usual farang breakfast full of fat which I did not eat, had fresh fruit, and juices and no sooner was my coffee cup empty, or a plate empty it was whisked away, or refilled. Great service, NZ could learn a thing or two.

Struck up a conversation with three Italian chicks who are holidaying together. Quite cute, one is a pig though. Am tentatively meeting them for happy hour drinks tonight. Will see if this develops, if not they are nice company anyway.

Am off to cruise around Phuket on the bike today. Apparently there is a motocross track somewhere that you can hire bikes and gear. Might give that a blast. Don’t want to break anything on me though, that would suck. Apparently there is a 60 foot triple jump that can be done…hmmm..sounds tempting….but I have busted enough bones in NZ racing…not here thanks.

Will hit the pool and read later on this arvo, and maybe have a nap to charge up for tonite in Patong. Yeehaa, catchya later.

Ok…folks.. this is where it gets weird and changes. This is where realisation time for Mikee occurs. Not that I knew it then as most of you first timers like me won’t know until after you leave and go back.

While in Phuket I met a lovely bargirl by the name of Jeab (little chicken), which as I surf and read more is a known common name the bargirls assume when they go to places like Pattaya and Phuket.

Alarm bells should have rung when I first met her and took her for a “long time” to my hotel and she produced a motorbike rental agreement for ID, instead of the usual ID Card, which apparently according to her was “lost” when her handbag was stolen in Pattaya 5 months before. The hotel staff at my 5 star resort almost refused to let her stay with me in my room until I paid double joiners fee to have her stay. (Another lesson learned here guys).

Then she could never tell me what her real name or home town was. I was such a sucker and the beautiful Thai woman GFE had me in her grasp over the next 10 days, as I felt sorry for her predicament in life, and after seeing her accommodations, I went to Lotus and bought her a new TV, sheets and clothes.

Don’t get me wrong, she treated me very well, and saved me serious baht when she saw me asking street vendors for produce and clothes, but I think she made more than what I saved tenfold.

I spent 10 days with her and they were 10 of the best days in my life. She seemed so genuine, and lovely.

She was seriously connected, (Thai Mafia & Police) and I noticed this immediately as I look at the world in different eyes, as I am an ex cop. I notice EVERYTHING people do, by movements, interactions, facial expressions on the phone, but even still I was clouded by love (read LUST) and missed all her clues. We partied at Star World and Tiger Bar being met by the owner and her Thai Mafia friends, one of whom was “locked” for stabbing a Thai who stole money from a farang while we partied!!! And he met us 3 days later after being bailed from the hole, and acted like it was no big deal!!!!

Had an epic time with her and my new found friends, and saw that part of Thailand much more than the touristy side with doors being opened by Police and Mafia friends I made. I spent every hour with Jeab and enjoyed it immensely. Spent some great times with her at Lamsing beach and other places. She seemed so genuine and caring.

I went home and stupidly sent her money after 10 days of knowing her, professing her to my friends as the true love I was searching for. They warned me against impulsiveness which I am known for, but I paid no heed to them.

My cellphone bill climbed astronomically to an airfare and 2 week vacation cost over 4 weeks as I spoke to her daily. I read this site and decided to hack her email account did not find anything. It is so easy to hack.

She even told she was pregnant to me and needed money for an abortion in Bangkok!!!! I fucked her four times without protection!!!! Stupid!!!! Is there an abortion clinic in Phuket that will do the same as in Bangkok??? I think so, so why go to Bangkok??? Enlighten me please. I have asked her to scan and send me air tickets, CBC’s, and medical receipts for her supposed “abortion” of “our” child.

She is still asking me for money for her “sick” mother and I have stupidly sent over 50,000 baht back since I left. Dumb, dumb dumb.

I like her immensely and will probably never ever see her again, but have now told her to slow down and if we are meant to be “together” then let our relationship stand the test of distance and time.

She has since disconnected her cell phone, and this now reinforces what I thought.

It’s all about money, and I am such a big sucker for being my own worst enemy in giving out too much real love and feelings. Thankfully I read this site, and checked my heart, and paid one of my Thai Mafia friends to keep an eye on her. He told me things, maybe not true but made me change my thinking. Maybe he scammed me not her. I dunno.

I am not angry, as I wish her the very best. She will need to learn from this also. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and be grateful for what you receive. She wasn’t.

I have leaned about LOS and bargirls, and will continue to do so on my return. This time I will check myself for falling in love too fast and butterfly like never before, and be up front with all girls that I do so.

Am I afraid she will cause problems for me if I go back to Thailand? No. I have dealt with and despatched much worse and more evil people than I met in Thailand. Besides I think Jeab is such a good lady she would not do that. Plus I made some good contacts there in the short time I was in Phuket. I am sure I am not the first guy to go through this either, so why would I be singled out?

I will really miss her, and there is not a day that goes by without me thinking of her and wishing her all the best for her life. I am sorry I was not the one, and never meant to hurt her heart. I treated her better than any other woman I have ever met. Amazing how quickly they can shut off. Lesson learned.

Stickman says:

The last two words say it all. But hell, you are ruining the reputation us Kiwis proudly have for being tight with our money. Still, I admire your generosity.

nana plaza