Stickman Readers' Submissions May 30th, 2003

A Good Night

My first night here, I was so horny I fucked the girl three times. The first time I came too soon and she complained that I came before she did. (Well!) The second time, I don't think I did much better, but she said she came too (she lied). The third time, I finally had my usual staying power, but by then she just seemed bored.

Each night after that, I felt a little less horny until I started wondering if my libido was waning now that I'm early middle-aged. Naw, that wasn't it. The fact is the girls weren't turning me on. I was having a streak of lazy, lacklustre performers. Then, the night before last I picked up a real bitch. She seemed nice enough at the bar, but back at my room she didn't want to kiss, didn't want to be touched or held. Why had she been so sweet to me at the bar? False advertising. Well, I had just bought a little Viagara that day, so I took a nibble off a tablet when she was in the shower.

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The last time I fooled around with Viagara was three years ago. After satisfying my curiosity and determining that I really didn't need the stuff, I stopped using it, partly because it was rather expensive. Well, the price fell from 800 to 500 baht per tablet over the last three years, so I decided to try some again.

She came out of the shower and wanted to get right down to business, but I had her give me a massage first instead. It takes about an hour for the stuff to reach peak blood plasma level. Then I tried a little foreplay to thaw her out some, but she'd have none of it. She went immediately for my dick which got rock hard the instant she touched it. That's how it is with Viagara. No matter how you're feeling, no matter how she behaves, no matter if you're tired, hungry, irritable, pissed off, drunk or just not interested, that thing will function and function very well. It removes all element of chance from the act. No matter what, you will perform like a porn star!

So, I climbed on top and stuck it in. I gave it to her every way I know how, going through every position I could think of, and we were both obviously bored. I finally had her in the doggy stance and was wondering what else I could try. I've never fucked a woman in the ass before. Something about that shit hole just doesn't appeal to me. I'm afraid if I smell sewage I'm gonna lose all desire. But this was a desperate situation, and what the hell- you only live once.

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So, I politely asked this young lady if she would like to be sodomized. "I've never done that before!," she replied. (Is that a yes or a no?) So, I asked if she would like to try it NOW! "No! Oh, please NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" What's the matter with me? I'm too much a gentleman. I should have just buggered her without even asking. If she got upset I could have pleaded poor aim. It was dark in the room with only a candle burning. Oh, well, maybe some other time. Anyway, from that point I just sprinted to the finish line. Routine sex; gotta get it over with; squirt, squirt; ho, hum.

We both showered again, then she situated herself on the far edge of the bed and said, "good night." This was anything but a good night. Most girls cuddle up to me for a while before dozing off. I don't like this frosty treatment. Sleeping with someone who obviously doesn't like you is far, far lonelier than sleeping alone. I told her to get dressed and leave.

After that experience, I was ready to take a night off last night. Then around 10 PM I started to feel horny again, damn it. I perused my notes and saw that I'd given a certain gal from about a week ago a good review. Why not ask her out again instead of taking another chance on a new gal? When I picked her up at the bar, she almost looked like a different girl. She was wearing short shorts and a sexy top. Not the frumpy jeans and t-shirt from before! And she was sweet. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, laughing, joking, teasing,….The complete opposite of the bitch the night before. In bed she was fantastic. I wasn't bad either (OK, I took a little Viagara again). We went two good, long rounds and I felt nice and drained when it was over. After sex she stayed up with me. I drank scotch and cokes while she cuddled close and giggled softly into me ear. We finally fell asleep sometime between 3 and 4 AM. Good night. A very, very good night.

Stickman says:

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I really liked these words – "Sleeping with someone who obviously doesn't like you is far, far lonelier than sleeping alone". That describes about 90% of these girls…

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