Eating the Worm While Avoiding The Hook
I wanted to relate my experiences re: relationships with Thai ladies in the life.
I first met Ning five years ago in a massage parlor on the island of Samui. She was 25 and I was 47. It was my first trip to Thailand and everything had that magical quality about it, especially the beautiful women that populate so much of the country. I entered her place of work quite by accident. Her shop was just one of many along a soi running off of Chawang beach’s main drag. I selected Ning because she was so shy and quiet, not yelling to the farangs like the rest of the girls. To my delight, I discovered that she had been trained at Wat Po, and she gave a top of the line traditional massage.
I returned for several more massages, each time requesting Ning. I never attempted to solicit any sex. After four or five days, she asked if I wanted her to come back with me to my room after work. I said yes, and we enjoyed each other’s company until the sun began to rise and illuminate the island. I gave her 1,000 baht as she left. Needless to say, I was hooked. She never asked for money, I just gave her some whenever I could. We went out for food and she helped me explore the island. She was a great friend and lover. I left promising to return soon.
I did returned to see her several months later, and she was so happy. I think it was because she thought I was going to marry her or take her to America. I sat her down and explained to her that this would never be possible due to the demands of my unique personal situation (which I need not discuss here).
I occasionally sent small amounts of money to her when I knew the low season made it tough for her to make good cash. We communicated every so often via email (her sister had a hotmail account).
Each time I returned to Samui, Ning would be there to greet me and I believe we both were happy that each was a part of the other's life. Due to the fact that my visits provided only brief glimpses into her life, I was able to clearly see the progression of her personality, as it struggled to fit into the demands of her life style. I believe that if I had been there constantly, many of these changes would have gone unnoticed. When I first met Ning, she rarely lied to me. After several years went by, I would occasionally notice that she was contradicting herself with increasing frequency. It wasn’t that she didn’t like me, rather, it seemed she felt obligated to portray herself in a manner other than the woman she actually was. Ning was becoming a player. She was into it with both feet and running fast.
My last visit was the end of a good thing. I could not find Ning. Her old haunts were empty. Her girlfriends, all married to foreigners, were also gone.
I knew her sister had my flight info and hotel reservations, so I settled in to wait for her to find me, which she did on the second day of my arrival. When I looked at her left hand I saw a nice gold band. She said it was not really a wedding ring but that she was living with a German on the island. Ning was also sporting a new cell phone with apparently unlimited minutes. She came to see me every day, but she would not go out on the street with me. I didn’t push the issue as I did not want to do anything that would ruin her chance to get away from the island and her occupation. Since the husband was away in Germany at the time, she was able to go off with me to Bangkok for what amounted to a goodbye fling.
I will miss Ning, but I wish her well. She was good to me and she did the best she could with what she knew. I've certainly been treated worse by those who knew much better how to handle relationships. Knowing her was a tremendous experience, one that I would not trade for the world. Perhaps it is my lack of expectation which has helped me maintain a good view of the big picture, and thereby avoid the pain and confusion that would certainly occur were I to have attempted to control her or influence her life according to my will.
So, in conclusion, I would beg to differ with those that maintain “the only way to treat a whore is like a whore”. In Thailand, labels are slippery and often obscure. What seems clear, often is not what it appears to be, and the best way to traverse this unfamiliar territory is to let your heart dictate the direction, while your intellect decides which path to walk.
I will continue to visit This wonderful country and who knows…..I may meet another Ning, and if I don’t……I’ll manage somehow to have a good time.
I hope the German isn't reading this.