Stickman Readers' Submissions April 30th, 2002

I Couldn’t Stay Away From Thailand: Part 1

In April of 2001, I went to Thailand for the very first time with the intent of meeting a girl to marry. I was the perfect sucker. I had very little info on how the girl scene operated, and plenty of money to spend.

I was traveling alone, no guide, no idea really about anything. My plan was to go straight to Phuket and stay there the whole time, as I like the beaches. I couldn't connect flights out of BKK the first night I got there, so I stayed at an airport hotel, and of course when the people at the hotel asked if there was ANYTHING they could do for me, I asked about girls. Bingo, they had a beautiful girl delivered to my room for a price I'm embarrassed to mention. But I will so you don't make the same mistake. 4500 Baht. I didn't care. I was quite happy. She was very nice. Of course, I wanted to stay in touch with her, but over the next couple months, I found I wanted to stay in touch with every girl I met, and I got in a bit of trouble. I did stay in touch with that very first girl I met in BKK and almost got a fiancee visa for her to come to the U.S. Thank God I didn't. When I hooked back up with her about a year later, I barely recognized her with all the weight she had put on. That beautiful young girl had aged 10 years and put on 30 pounds. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, on to Phuket.

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The next morning I went to Phuket. I thought it was nice, but I didn't see the girls. I wanted to see girls. All I had heard about was the girls. Now as point of reference, I will say, I'm not fat, not too old, have a full head of hair, and I'm an average looking guy. But in Thailand that doesn't seem to matter too much. A girl will say you have good heart if you have money. I have no problem meeting women in the U.S., but not like these beautiful young creatures. As nightfall came, I walked the streets of Patong Beach, and just stared at all the women I couldn't believe what I had walked into. But at this time, I still had not been in the gogos of BKK or Pattaya, so I had no reference point. I tested a couple girls the first night and was not particularly impressed with their sexual know how.

The next night I went to the Rock Hard GoGo and saw the woman I wanted. She was a dream. I bought her a drink and we talked. I knew no Thai at the time. She spoke perfect English so that was great. I asked her if she would like me to pay bar, and she said no. So I offered her 4000 baht short time, and I was stunned when she turned me down. Now I'm beginning to wonder about this place. So I walked upstairs to Smokin' Joe's GoGo, and immediately met a very friendly lady who wanted to leave with me for 2500 baht. Still expensive compared to what I know now. This was supposed to be for short time. The 2500 was never paid that night. She stayed with me for the rest of the time I was in Phuket, and I was happy. I thought I had a new girlfriend, and I was going to save her from this life. Although I didn't give her the original 2500 baht agreed on for short time, I couldn't tell you how much I actually gave her. It was a lot. But at the time, I didn't care. I bought her gold, clothes, we went to expensive restaurants every day, and I pampered her. Also, I gave her about 15,000 baht cash, which she pretended she didn't want to take. I'm going to try and shorten this story. I ended up sending her money a few weeks later from the States. She quit the GoGo never to return to this day. I was going to marry her and take her back to the States. I promised I would come back to get her a month later. Here's the twist. Before I came back to the U.S., I stayed in BKK for a few days. When I showed up at the airport in BKK coming from Phuket, there was a girl holding a sign with my name and picture. I forgot all about this. I had been emailing with her the prior month, and she knew my schedule. I had no idea she would show up at the airport. ( Since then, I have met a lot of Thai girls on the internet, some with good results and some not so good. As Stickman says, it's easy to meet non-bargirls, but you have to be careful because I think they take you a bit more seriously than a bargirl, and expect more.)

So this girl meets me at the airport. She's beautiful and we have a good time. The sex is great, etc. She works doing laundry at a hotel. She asks me to get married. (Of course we didn't.) Don't know what happened to her. Now, after being in Thailand less than two weeks, I'm on a roller coaster. I've gone from elation to rejection to two offers of marriage. I feel crazy. I also learn about the bar scene while in BKK, and know I want to see more of that, but my time is limited and I never really got the chance on that trip. Now things really take a change. I have made a promise to come back and marry one girl in the next month.

I'm flying home to the U.S. and I get a seat on the plane next to a drop dead gorgeous Chinese Thai who is going to California to study English and live with an uncle not far from my home in San Diego. She won't even talk to me. We get stuck in Korea on a layover for 11 hours, and learn about each other. She comes from a very wealthy family, and has a sister that's going to meet her in California also, and go to college there. Anyway, about a couple weeks after I got back to the States, I get a phone call from the Chinese Thai girl who I never thought I'd see again. She hates her school, and wants to come to San Diego and have me show her around. She sleeps on my couch for a few days, as she is a 20 year old virgin, and very shy.

That changed. She had her clothes sent to my house, moved in with me, and we were very happy. Oops, forgot I had already bought a ticket to go back to Thailand and get the girl I had met from the GoGo. So I had to make up a lie, saying I was going on a business trip, and leave this beautiful young girl at my home, while I went back to Thailand for my GoGo rice farmer. I didn't know how I was going to manage it all. And who would want to stay with a rich, educated Chinese Thai girl when you can have an illiterate rice farm girl from Northern Thailand that you met in a GoGo? (HaHa) Believe it or not, a lot of men. We're just not too bright when it comes to picking women. Suffice to say, I did not marry the farm girl. I missed my educated Chinese Thai girl who never asked me for money, and took fantastic care of my home and myself. I regret what I was about to do ever since. This girl living with me said her parents still didn't know what she was doing, and if she was to stay with me we would have to be married. Said she would sign a prenup, etc. About a month later I put her on a train to go meet her sister, and I haven't not seen her since. I miss her so much.

After that second trip to Thailand and all the craziness with trying to have a lady in the U.S., my lying, the nasty break-up with the GoGo girl, etc., I thought I had had enough of Thailand and the girls for a while, but I made the mistake of staying in BKK again on the second trip after the break-up with the GoGo girl, and had the privilege of sleeping with some girls I would consider supermodels in our society. I was totally smitten. I couldn't wait to get back to Thailand. I've been with probably 200 Thai women in the past year, and to this day, a part of me regrets not marrying the educated, rich Chinese Thai girl. She is number one. I wish I would have known then what I know now. I had stumbled across one of the few honest, decent Thai women who actually loved me, and I let it go. (I have been single all my life, and I'm always looking for something better, even though I always say I'd like to get married some day.)

I have made 5 trips to Thailand since that time, and spent the last 6 months living all around Thailand, and visiting Cambodia, making my base at a high rise condo in Pattaya. Basically, I've become a slut, with a romantic side, saying, "Well, maybe some day I'll settle down."

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I've learned to speak half decent Thai. I have dated women around the country that I've met on the internet, gone to the GoGos, the beer bars, the massages, etc. I started to lose the sensation and thrill after being with so many beauties. It was like eating your favorite food every day, and it's just no biggie any more. I started to spend more time going to school to learn Thai, studying, traveling the country and seeing the real Thailand. Going to the small villages, the farms, the temples, the mountains. Going fishing with the locals. Eating all kinds of different food. Meeting people all over the country. And I must tell you, I love Thailand. Now I have been back in the U.S. for one week after spending the last 6 months in Thailand. I love my home here, but I do miss Thailand, and I miss the women. Yes, I'm still attracted to the GoGo girls too, but not the same as before. I still want to meet the "right one" but I can't quit my screwing around, so that may not be possible. I'm staying in touch with a few girls in Thailand still, but I haven't promised to marry them, and I DON'T send money. I'm still in touch with the first girl I met in a Phuket GoGo a year ago. I saw her on my last trip. Little did I know she had saved about a million baht while working in that Gogo before I met her. She built a beautiful home for her family. She gave me back the gold I bought her, offered to give me back the money I gave her, and refused to accept any more money from me when I saw her the last time. She seemed to genuinely love me. She was through with the Gogo, and had become a food vendor. She let me know if I didn't marry her, there was a man in Norway that would. She didn't love him, but he would take care of her and her two children. She leaves for Norway on May 1, 2002. Oh, by the way, I NEVER date or take girls from the bars now that have children. Besides the horrendous stretch marks, it's just one more mouth they have to lie for to get money. (I know, bad attitude) But no more ladies with children for me. These girls really do love their families, and take care of them. The family ALWAYS comes first before any man or love or anything. I have had so many experiences in Thailand. The women are notorious liars, but there are some good ladies. I have to remember when I'm with a bar girl to just have fun and enjoy it for what it is.

I think Stickman is right, though. If you're in Thailand long enough, eventually you may tire of the easy pickings at the bars and may want to actually have some type of conversation with a girl. And even if you speak Thai, you find that many of the bar girls only have about a 3rd grade education, and don't read or write Thai much at all. So it is nice to meet an educated girl that you can have a conversation with. I'm still stuck in the crossfire between loving my sexual exploits and being with a nice, educated lady who never asks for money.

At present I have a girlfriend over there who teaches high school. She also runs a very good family business, speaks English, treats me better than any lady here in the U.S., and never asks me for money. She truly loves me, and is hoping that she will be with me in the future. But I haven't been able to be faithful.

I also have a couple of bar girls who know the score with me. I know what they're all about, and we get along great, and keep in touch. It has really helped me to learn to speak Thai. One of my bar girl friends (Nok) is so nice she likes to bring her girlfriend with her sometimes just to pleasure me. And although her girlfriend can give me sexual treats, when the three of us go anywhere together, Nok is in charge. Very funny. I love Thailand. I love the women.

I have many other stories I could tell about the women and the predicaments I got myself in sometimes. The lies that were told to me, the lies I told to women. I mean I've had a girl's boyfriend call me on my mobile in Thailand, asking about her and telling me it's his girlfriend and he's worried about her. The next moment the girl will say, "I don't have boyfriend. I hate Thai man." They will lie all the way to the bank, and if you don't have your wits about you, you can lose your heart and your wallet to these girls. I hope I've learned some lessons. I really do try to treat the women good. They're good people and many of them have had rough lives. But as far as making a wife out of a GoGo or a Bar girl, at this point, I believe that is delusional thinking. Yes, these girls can seduce you. Keep your wits about you. At one point I was sick of the lies, the girls, the poverty in your face, and felt I was through with Thailand. Now I love the country and plan to spend a big part of my future there.


Join the club. Oh so many of us have ridden the same roller coaster.

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