Stickman Readers' Submissions April 18th, 2002

Another Snip

As a 39 year old single male, well travelled, I don't think I can ever go anywhere else when I am so generously offered a few weeks respite from what, by any standard, is an extremely stressful occupation. And already plans are afoot for the return.

My first mission in t'LOS involved a two week insertion into the Southern region…. Phuket airport, armed with the Rough Guide, but after thirty six hours travelling, wanting a bed desperately! The nice lady at the helpfully situated "Over the odds accom Tourist Travel Info" booth, booked me in for two nights down at Karon. At nearly twenty quid a night, I know I can get cheaper but as things turned out I end up really liking the place, the view through the coconut palms outside my balcony being of a steep sided green valley, no buildings, no roads, no people. Well, that's where I stayed for the two weeks.

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I was badly in need of repair, after experiencing a prolonged period of emotional psychological abuse, from the aforementioned stressful occupation, and the searing agony of a ten year relationship reaching it's conclusion. I had every intention to make full use of all recreational opportunities available, specifically those of the water based variety. (swimming, diving, boats, no double entendres intended), and also to make the acquaintance of these ladies of modern legend. But, currently my desires were for food and sleep, so a short walk to the beach front where a delicious feast was consumed for what would be a pittance in Farangland. The bar-beers made themselves as obvious as the girls working in them, so inviting, but I had decided earlier to just eat and sleep, then tomorrow I'd be as alert and aware as you need to be when arriving somewhere new, with the intentions I had. So my stubborn mind was set, no girls, no booze. And off we go on the short stroll back to the bungalow, where the comfort of a soft bed and the relief of air-con awaits.

Earlier, whilst eating, my observations of the attractive young ladies had led me to the conclusion that they could be divided into two distinct categories. There are the girls who work the bars, who walked, smiling, past my table. Leaving with her farang or returning from a place from where there is no return….Then the other girls, the ones further down, sitting on the low beach wall. They are obviously freelancers on show to the passing of cars ,bikes and other vehicular transport, including elephants! (My first night, three fucking great elephants walking down the road!!! Yes I know, so what? There's loads of 'em, everywhere. It amazes me how quickly we get used to elephants, "That was a big elephant, wasn't it? "What elephant"???) As I'm walking, the two very pretty young things riding past are waving, smiling, calling. I don't look, react, I've deflected this type of attention many times, many places. And they are gone, behind me, to meet with their friends back at the beach wall. But no, the engine note dropped too soon and as they turn in the road behind me I prepare for the forthcoming rejection. The bike comes alongside as I walk. "What your name? Where you from?" The one sitting side-saddle asks, her smooth brown legs revealed by a short tight black skirt, and she's wearing boots. (There's something about boots). "Where you go?" I go back to room, I reply. "We go with you". A statement being simultaneously an offer, a request, a test. No, I go room alone. I say. "You no like us? You no tink we pretty?" Yes I think you're very pretty, but I'm tired and I'm going to sleep. "Where you from?" As the bike cuts in front, stopping me. Miss legs dismounts daintily, her skirt displaying a lovely firm bum, pulling magnetically at my attention and intentions. Again, from me, a polite rebuff. "We go with you, you no pay money! You no tink we pretty?" Her soft voice pleading for my approval. Yes I think you're both bloody gorgeous, but I'm going home alone, my stubborn mind fixing on much needed rest, and suspicions aroused by the "no pay" line. The girls are smiling, giggling and I'm enjoying what would be welcome attention under different circumstances. Miss Legs on my left slips her arm round my waist and her head rests on my shoulder, soft scent of flowers adding to the heady mix of overloaded senses. Again "We go room you, we like you, you no pay". Her hand brushes my crotch, searching, finding, then gently cupping and squeezing. "You no like?" Oh yes! I like very much! I'm standing on a quiet street, with two lovely young women persuading me to embark on a sexual adventure, one girl feeling my rapidly growing interest (tee, hee), as the other looks more and more inviting. Yes I like very very much, but I've made up my stubborn mind and no woman, no matter how lovely, is going to make me change my stubborn mind.

So after ten wearing, interesting minutes they give up and flounce away, having met their match in an older worldly-wise farang who's been there, done it, and has wardrobes full of T-shirts. Strolling smugly towards the comfort of "home", I could smile, confident that I could cope with whatever situation should arise, proud of my ability to see things "as they are". Lying under the starched white sheet, my last thoughts were of soft feminine caresses and the promise of more to come as I drifted away to sleep the sleep of innocents.

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The new day dawned with a chorus of tropical noise, and I set about doing those things that were not yet done, then by mid afternoon had settled into my seat under a fan, in a quiet little bar, where I made the acquaintance of two friendly, funny Australians, whose company I enjoyed whilst they awaited the return of their mate, Clint, who was nearby, having a massage. Not the soapy sex type but a real Thai massage from an older genuine Thai masseuse. Having lived there for five years he knew where to go, and indeed came back singing her praises. Clint was a mine of useful inside information, from prices that you wont find written down anywhere, to where you'd hear the best live band. You should be as willing to learn from someone else's experiences, as you are from your own!

With a grin he began to talk of the ladies who are not all they appear to be, recounting how he had told his two recently arrived friends that before they decide on which girl's company they would like, that they should first ask Clint to "check 'em out". Now how many men would take that from a mate? First you find someone that flicks enough of your switches that you want them enough to pay them to be with you, then ask your friend if he thinks she's a ladyboy! The tale unfolded, as they sheepishly urged me to heed the words of Clint, how on their first night he had allowed them to return to their hotel in the company of two babes, waited while they went to their respective rooms, left it long enough for the participants to disrobe in preparation for the forthcoming events, then, in the nick of time, entered the rooms and forced the "ladies" to reveal expertly tucked away appendages. Our two embarrassed but wiser friends sent away their "ladies" of the night, compensated with the tuk-tuk fare to return from whence they came. (It's great when you meet someone new and find you're pissing yourselves laughing together).

So heed the words of Clint I did! He spoke of how, with some, it is impossible to tell their true gender, that they can be as beautiful as the most beautiful woman, and even he, after years of careful scrutiny, could still be mistaken. In return, I told stories of a number of encounters I'd had over the years, assuring my new mentor that I had comparable experience in these matters and would be highly unlikely to be "fooled", by these "girls". I also told of how I had spotted a few amongst the ladies down on the beach wall, last night. "No mate", came the next pearl of wisdom, "The girls on the beach wall are ALL ladyboys!" My roller coaster plunged downward through the dark tunnel of realisation, of how closely I had been shaved, how easily "tricked".

Yes, we learn by our mistakes, so thanks Stick and to all your contributors, for all the pearls on your 'site.

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Stickman says:

A nice selection of anecdotes. Hell, can't say I have ever had two young ladies approach me like you had though!

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