Stickman’s Canadian Loser

This week Stickman’s readership has been blessed with a contribution of a Canadian gentleman who has taught us a lesson or two, criticizing (very harshly) a few themes we commonly encounters in readers’ submissions. Is he really so different or does he just prey water and drink wine? Is he truly disgusted with the dick measuring competition or is he just unhappy that his dick is not worshiped as the longest in the group?

Yes, people love to brag. Joe wants to be better than his neighbor – bigger house, younger wife, kids with better degrees, more expensive car and what not. Joe not only wants to be better, he wants to be recognized as such and wants everybody around take notice. In terms of this site, it means showing that the contributor is better than the proverbial Thai farang loser – described as old, fat, bald, with nonexistent social skills, Isaan bargirl on one hand and a can of beer welded to the other. You know why rednecks love to watch redneck shows? They get comfort in seeing that they are not as bad as the people depicted in the show. “Look, my mullet is not that long! My trailer looks way better and my wife is only a cousin of my aunt!”

Discussing the topic of Thai girls, I got the feeling our Canadian is simply pissed that the qualities he values in his Thai wife are not commonly appreciated in Thailand. Foreigners living in Thailand usually get it pretty soon; Thais don’t see dark, uneducated Isaan girls as objects of envy and have no respect for foreigners marrying bargirls. Getting socially accepted in Thailand having a bargirl wife is practically impossible, you will not get invited to social functions or company gatherings, in restaurants your table is always tucked between the toilets and the staff room, and it is difficult to ignore the smirks and hushed comments when you walk hand in hand through any upscale shopping mall. So is our Canadian fellow really so egalitarian or is he just displaying the bitterness of the nerdy kid who sees himself rejected by the group of hot chicks and cool dudes in the class despite his straight A’s?

I hardly see any logic in calling a**holes the contributors who dare to mention their age and wealth in their submission, yet stating own age and wealth in exact dollar amount in the same paragraph, further reinforcing those claims with statements like: “I have a hell of a lot more money than you”. So who is the real a**hole here?

The writer tries so hard to convince us that he is a wealthy, humble and deeply content individual, yet the whole submission smells really fishy. Frankly, what I see is a total opposite. A person worth 60 million hardly has the urge to flash his wealth in front of average citizens or spend time convincing common folk about his superiority. How many times did you hear about Bill Gates showing off his fortunes in rural bars of Nebraska or Donald Trump thrashing Subaru owners’ forum by calling members cheap idiots and posting photos of him in a new Ferrari Enzo? I seriously doubt that a person making 12 million per year (60 million yielding 20% per annum) would need to make this kind of argument on this site. It’s usually the 4 inch mullet guy who laughs at the 5 inch mullets; it’s the English bricklayer who plays the 2 weeks millionaire in Pattaya.

Now thinking about it, I might have recently met our Canadian fellow. A few weeks ago a friend of mine was participating in the King’s Cup Elephant Polo Championship in Hua Hin and I came to watch with a few other people from Bangkok. Sitting on a beach, drinking sodas and smoking cigarettes during a long break after one of the matches we were joined by a rather weary looking individual who introduced himself as Pierre from Canada. In the next few minutes he claimed to be a majority shareholder in a fish processing plant in Quebec, owner of several hotels and resorts in Asia, living between Singapore and New York, using his private jet as his preferred means of transport. Noticing our questioning looks at his 99 baht sandals, crumpled T-shirt and stained shorts he was quick to remark that despite his wealth he loves to live a simple life, enjoys being anonymous and unrecognized. The fact that he has spoken only of his wealth for the past 20 minutes apparently did not strike him as paradoxical. If the Canadian writer recognizes himself, I would like to send him our best regards. We had a great laugh and would like to pass these comments:

• VFR is really not a type of your aircraft, meaning of these 3 letters is “visual flight rules”.

• You can not have a Lamborghini with AMG tuning. AMG works with Mercedes only.

• The Raffles Hotel is a famous hotel in Singapore, not Hong Kong.

• No, you certainly did not party with a bunch of Thai military elite and large industrialists in Patpong. No, they would not go there even dressed as common folk. And NO NO, they would not party together with their drivers and bodyguards having a merry time together.

• And you also do not hold the license for Elite Model agency in Bangkok.

Stickman's thoughts:

While I may not be shy to disagree with someone's words, I am reluctant to criticise someone who sent in a submission. That they took time and made the effort to put something together is grounds for gratitude. However, in the case of the Canadian's submission, he actually told such a bunch of porkies and disrespected the site to the extent that I think comments would be fair. There is no need for me to say anything though as you have done a very nice of it already!