Thai Women And Western Men
Thai women are worshipped by many Western men. What do Thai women have that women in these men’s homelands don’t? What is it about Thai women that Western men find so alluring?
Many foreign men say Thai women are sexy. Sexy? Really?
Thais pride themselves on being relaxed and laid-back, but are they really? I’d argue that they are the wrong terms and that flexible might be more accurate. Thai culture imposes certain expectations on people and much about the culture is rather rigid. One aspect of Thai culture is that women don’t treat their body like an amusement park. That, I believe, is a big part why many Thais are confused about and have hang-ups when it comes to sex. Their traditional culture tells them one thing; their body and popular culture tells them another. Individually some Thai women are very sexy but I hardly think you’d call the average Thai woman sexy. Pretty? Definitely. Sexy? No. If you’re looking for sexy, try Brazil.
Ok, so if Thai women are not especially sexy – and that is simply an observation and not a black mark – what are some of the other reasons Western men feel Thai women are so special?
Many foreigners say Thai women look after their man particularly well. Thai women do typically place much importance on looking after their man and many have a very traditional view of the respective roles of a man and a woman in a relationship. In return they expect that their partner will look after them in the traditional manner and provide well for them and the family.
Many Western men like the way Thai women embrace their femininity. Urban, educated Thai females are more often than not kind, sweet, delicate and oh so pretty.
So Thai women are feminine, sweet and caring. Many are slim and just as many are pretty. With so many desirable traits, why is it then that so many Thai / Farang relationships fail?
I’ve always said that the challenge for Western guys dating Thai ladies is that they are very different. But what does that mean?
Few of those in a Thai lady / Western man relationship are able to articulate what they want and expect in a relationship. When neither has the language skills to explain what they expect from their partner, small problems fester and become bigger problems.
Few foreigners speak Thai to a level where they can articulate what’s on their mind. It’s more likely that she will speak English to a higher level than he will speak Thai but even then, it might take many years to reach a level at which they can discuss relationship issues – and by then it might be too late to save it.
When you don’t share a common language you don’t have mutual references. How can you joke together when neither of you speak the other’s language well? What is a relationship without humour?!
Is being feminine, sweet, pretty and being genuinely willing to look after a guy enough? It’s a good start – but is it enough?!
Western men in Thailand have no problem meeting local women – and this is a problem because if things aren’t going well in a relationship, he can move on to someone else in no time. Irrespective of how he looks, how much money he has, or whether he is a genuinely good person or not, Western men in Thailand know they can meet someone new with ease. And this, I believe, is a big part of why so many Western men like Thai women. Because they’re easy. Easy to meet and just as easy to get in to bed.
Arrange to meet a Thai woman online – the most popular way to meet these days – and odds are that you will be in bed with her not long after you bought her a coffee. By the time you see a movie together you’ve already been between the sheets. Someone said that in Bangkok 2017, getting a Thai woman in to bed is as easy as ordering a pizza. That might be true….but it’s been that way for about 15 years. Tinder might have been a revolution in the West but it was late to the party in Thailand.
I make no judgments on what a woman chooses to do with her body. If she wishes to sleep with a man within hours of meeting her, that’s her choice. At the same time I think it sends the wrong message if she is looking for a relationship and not just a bit of fun.
As an aside, if my observations of Thai women in New Zealand are anything to go by, Thai women outside their own country are much less likely to drop their knickers with the speed they do in Thailand.
Is it being harsh to say that while so many Thai girls are feminine, pretty, caring and sweet, that the overall package may not appeal to many Western men for anything more than a fling and a bit of fun?
So many Western men in Thailand like the local women because a meeting at Starbucks is often followed by a trip to home base. But that doesn’t translate to relationship success and my observations are that Thai gal / Western guy relationships don’t have a high success rate. That doesn’t seem to put Western men off singing the praises of Thai women. In 2017 Thailand, many Thai women are easy. Could that be a big part of why so many Western men like them?
Where Was The Photo Taken?
Last week’s photo was taken outside of Exchange Tower, the large building on the south-east corner of the Asoke intersection. This week’s photo is a long way from Bangkok…and that’s the only clue I am giving. Ok, one more….this is not the first time I have featured this temple in this section.
Stick’s Inbox (The most interesting emails from the past week.)
Rainy season blues.
What is it with Thai girls and rain? For as long as I’ve been visiting Thailand, whenever it rains girls either get a cold (pen wat), or have a headache (puad hua), or get a fever (pen khai), or sometimes all three! Is this a genuine thing or just an excuse to stay home and sleep? I come from England. It rains a lot here and I don’t get a cold or a headache or a fever. Whenever I’m in Bangkok during the rainy season and I forget my umbrella you can pretty much guarantee it will rain and at some point I will get caught in a downpour. All that happens is that I get wet. I don’t feel the need to take to my bed. So is this a real or imagined thing? Does anyone know?
Like attracts like.
The bar ladies are aware of what price they can command. We farangs forget that the ladies in gogo bars are there to earn a living. If you occupy her time, be prepared to pony up with lady drinks or tell her you aren’t interested so she can move on to someone else. Be selective – if she is not fun while on stage dancing don’t expect her to be very enthusiastic back in your hotel room. I know many bargirls and it is business, and you are a transaction. This may have been different in the past, and I have definitely seen a change since I started spending lots of time in Bangkok. My daughter back home is 31 years of age and is in no hurry to jump in to a relationship. Many of the Thai girls I know are of the same mind and are especially not interested in a relationship with a Thai man or retired farang. The ones who are, are extremely lazy and that should be a warning sign! Don’t forget, as Cyndi Lauper was wont to say, ‘Girls, they just want to have fun!’ If you are fun then the girls pick up on that. Like attracts like.
The cost of a night on the tiles in Bangers.
On my last trip I went to a Soi Cowboy gogo bar (I rarely drink in these kind of places nowadays) and really hit it off with a girl. The bar tab was 1K baht, barfine was 2K baht before midnight and it was 4K baht for the lady. At those prices it’s once in a blue moon for me now. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time but that’s 2 days wages at the current terrible exchange rate for Sterling and more than I would spend in a month going out at home. The worst thing is that wasn’t the only bar I spent money in that night. What I’m trying to say is that a night on the tiles in Bangkok is still fun, but hardly maintainable for a trip, never mind as a retirement lifestyle.
Thais are like diplomats.
To some extent it is very difficult to have real Thai friends. They are nice and smiling but trusting them is not easy. Thais are like diplomats, they always have a plan in the back of their mind to get what they want while smiling in public and always maintaining harmony.
I went to Thailand right after 9/11 and a couple of summers later after developed a “friendship” with a ladyboy. It happened unexpectedly and naturally. To the point we would go outside Bangkok and have Sunday dinners and get-togethers with her family. Everyone was accepting and I never felt anxious. It ended not because of any prejudice or problems one might think of, but because more and more money needed to be spent on her behalf. The point I wish to make is that she was as affectionate and pretty (more beautiful than most of the girls) but the common denominator of money came in to play (which if I was on the other side I would be scraping for too.) There were no bad intentions but she still has to take care of mom, dad and a lazy brother.
A fan of Fanfinfin.com.
Thank you in telling us about Fanfinfin.com. When you take the offer from the website maker in translating it in Google Translate – I have laughed tears as the translations are so funny. Even the webmaster provides some translation help, saying that ‘two girls not converted’ means ‘ladyboy’ or ‘two girls converted’ is a transgender. ‘Hire a fan’ is the price – I have no idea how it is translated but when it comes to the detail of ‘1 shot’ that translates in to ‘water’ – it’s so funny! Prices are fair but thinking that someone needs to go to Nonthaburi for 1,300 baht then I wonder if this makes sense. You can easily pay 2,500 baht which is more than the price you may pay at Smooci.com so it’s not really a bargain.
Poster child for all the wrong reasons.
The more I travel, the less interesting Thailand becomes. That may be a reason that Thailand isn’t the desired destination it once was. With cheap airfares readily available, more people are traveling more widely and you can easily compare and contrast a wide variety of countries. Your links to articles on the most dangerous countries, fingerprint requirements for SIM cards, and possible required travel insurance are just the latest indicators that Thailand is missing the mark. Lots of countries have problems, but Thailand seems to be the poster child for how to not only fail to solve problems but to make them comically worse. For a naughty time, though, Thailand is still a good destination.
Girl Of The Week
Rose, gogo dancer, Butterflies, Nana Plaza
(* photos kindly provided by the Nana Plaza marketing department)
Butterflies, on the top floor of Nana Plaza and operated by the same team behind Billboard, is looking to do a “relaunch” of sorts with a 4th of July promotion. For 3 days, all local beers (Chang / Leo / Singha) as well as Sangsom & Barton’s Gin / Vodka will be 100 baht, all night long. And if you’re lucky you might see Rose, this week’s girl of the week.
Mercury, the long-running gogo bar on the middle floor of Nana Plaza, is about to change format from all-girl gogo bar to an all-ladyboy affair. Mercury will close tomorrow and reopen on Saturday, July 1st, as Mercury Ladyboy Bar. That will make it the 8th all-ladyboy bar in the plaza. Given that 8 out of the 25 odd gogo bars in Nana Plaza are all-ladyboy and another handful have a sprinkling of ladyboys, perhaps the slogan on the large sign out the front of Nana Plaza should be changed to something like “The World’s Largest Ladyboy Playground“.
The Strip in Patpong soi 2 is looking to recapture the magic of the past couple of years and the old owners are helping the new owners run a party. Strip It Off is the theme for the party this coming Saturday, July 1st. Drop by and check out the renovated Strip.
One of the big changes in the bar industry over the past several years is the change in business model from selling barfines to selling drinks. You don’t have to go back that many years and come midnight many bars had few ladies in the bar – most had been barfined. I remember how different things were in the late ’90s when the idea was to go out to the bars early because in many bars you’d struggle to find an empty seat after 9:00 or 9:15 PM – and the later you left it, the smaller the selection was. These days, many bars barely have a customer at 9:00 PM and the best-looking ladies mightn’t turn up until 9:00 PM (and won’t be up on stage until some time later). Many bars don’t get rocking until well after 10:00 PM and peak around midnight. The reason some bars charge such high barfines – plenty of venues now put barfines at 1,500 baht or even 2,000 baht – is because at the end of the day the bar doesn’t want the lady to leave the bar and would rather she stayed until the very end and had guys buying her 200 baht drinks all night (as well as drinks for themselves). And who can blame the bar owners? Quick maths shows that there’s more money in lady drinks, especially at the rates at which some girls throw them back. And let’s not forget that many girls prefer this too. How long will it be until the model changes completely and barfines become a thing of the past and it’s all about lady drinks? Don’t say it won’t happen because you know it’s quite possible!
In super popular gogo bar Crazy House, keep an eye on the lady drinks if you’re on a tight budget. If a lady asks you for a whisky and Coke, what she means – but does not spell out clearly – is that she is asking you for two separate drinks i.e. a glass of whiskey AND a glass of Coke, for which you would be charged the price of 2 drinks – in this case 330 baht. This sort of sneakiness really bothers me. I know some don’t care what a night out costs – and I respect that – but there are some of us who don’t like to feel like we’re being ripped off. And in situations like this I don’t know how you can feel any other way. It should be noted that this is not a scam perpetrated by the odd girl but is being actively promoted and encouraged by management. Crazy House is the same bar which was charging our Chinese friends an entrance fee.
The American Independence Day Picnic will be held this coming Saturday, July 1st, at Bangkok Pattaya School, Sukhumvit soi 105. It is one of the more laid-back events of the expat social function calendar. There will be all the usual revelry with many American-themed restaurants providing food along with entertainment and whatnot. Entry is 300 baht. If you make it along, I’d love to hear how busy it is – recent years have seen the number of visitors drop. It is speculated that this is due to the falling number of middle-aged Americans / American families living in Bangkok these days.
After more than 4 years on Sukhumvit Soi 12, Insanity will move to what the owners describe as an all-new, state of the art venue on Sukhumvit Soi 11. That sounds like overkill for what is essentially a popular, if rather fancy, freelancer bar. The doors on soi 12 will close this Wednesday, June 28th, and the new Insanity will reopen in its new location on Soi 11 the following day, Thursday, June 29th. A soft opening period will run until Wednesday, July 19th, when there will be a grand opening celebration. Insanity is a venue I have struggled to get my head around. On the one hand it is a popular freelancer joint, but on the other it hosts not just local, but internationally known DJs. When I think back to the great freelancer bars of yesteryear, the likes of the Thermae, Nana Disco and Marine Disco in Pattaya, none of these places were flash venue-wise and none made any effort to provide special entertainment or bring in name DJs – yet they all did well and were extremely popular. I just don’t get the connection between a freelancer venue and professional DJs. Anyway, on to the all-new Insanity in soi 11, it sounds like it is going to be really big with a ceiling height of 15 metres and the capacity for over 1,000 people to party. They’re going to have a mother of an electricity bill to keep that cavern cool. The owners say that sound and lighting will be unmatched with the only L-Acoustics sound system in Bangkok (I have no idea what that is) and it will be backed by a UFO lighting system that they claim is also a first for Bangkok. Themed weeknight parties will continue and for hi-so wannabes there will be 14 VIP booths. Soi 11 has developed an atmosphere that is more club than pub so I expect the new Insanity will do very well there.
Still on Sukhumvit soi 11, late-night venue Levels will celebrate its 5th anniversary the week after next, Wednesday, July 12th.
Down the road in Pattaya, talk of the town is the new Robin Hood Tavern complex on Second Road in The Avenue which I have been told is rammed all day and night . Just to reinforce the point I have made in recent weeks about Pattaya changing, in the Robin Hood complex there are all sorts of craft beers available – craft beers are popping up in bars all over Pattaya. I can just imagine what long-time Pattaya expats think about craft beers – and perhaps more succinctly, what they think of the price!
Downstairs in the Robin Hood Tavern complex is a German Brauerei with German-style beer brewed on site which is also drawing in the crowds. It is standing room only at weekends.
In Le Pub on Soi Diamond, what came first – the new crop of ladies from Isaan or the packs of horny expats? No-one knows for sure, but Le Pub is doing very well. And it’s not just the Isaan crew that is popular, the new food menu is going down a storm.
Beach Road in June has been described as dead – which sounds just like the last time I was in town. With many Chang wife-beater singlets seen in the bars up and down Pattaya sois 7 & 8, maybe that’s where the old Beach Road crowd has moved to?
And for those in Pattaya who want to try something new at the spicier end of the scale, the gay fetish club Sodom will reopen on the 1st July. You can find more details here.
Babydolls in Pattaya will throw another Back to the ’80s party after the huge success of last month’s event. Drop by for a fun night.
I have a Penta box – the contraption I recommended some weeks ago which allows you to watch Thai TV live from anywhere in the world with a decent net connection but I tend not to watch much Thai TV (and neither do I watch much local TV either). But I have to confess that I watched some Thai TV this past week and particularly enjoyed the press conference when a senior policeman talked publicly about how some positions in the police force had been filled by those willing to pay to secure the job. It is widely known that many police officers make a little extra on the side and there have been rumours for years about the cost of securing a plum position in the force. Said senior cop claims that some had paid 10 million baht for their position which drives home how much they need to make just to recover the cost of buying their position, let alone profit from it. He went on to say that most young Thai policemen who rose to senior positions quickly had done so not through merit but by partaking of the system whereby they buy a senior position. Towards the end of the press conference he answered the question that was on everyone’s mind – he had no suicidal thoughts and neither was he careless – so if he anything happened to him any time soon it was neither suicide nor an accident!
One big difference I notice between Thais in New Zealand and foreigners in Thailand is the knowledge each of these groups have of their respective host countries. Most foreigners in Thailand have a basic understanding of what goes on in Thailand, know a bit about the culture and generally have an idea about rules and regulations such as staying on top of their visa. In New Zealand, I find most Thais are absolutely clueless about this sort of thing.
Quote of the week comes from a forum, “Thailand is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, it feels safe but you’re not nearly as safe as you think you are.”
Reader’s story of the week comes from Simon43, “A Crazy Life Part 5“.
Police raid a gentleman’s club in Pattaya and catch punters and bargirls in the oral act.
More warnings for bars in Pattaya which are told to be free of hookers, be free of guns and be closed by 3:00 AM.
You know social media has gone crazy in Thailand when the most popular instant messaging app has announced it is going to open a theme park in Bangkok.
A Nok Airways music video features some truly lovely Thai women!
A beautiful young Russian woman has disappeared from Ko Tao in what is now being dubbed by some as Death Island.
A young Aussie is the latest victim in a very long line of ladyboy pickpockets in Pattaya.
A wedding is abandoned and a complaint made to police after the groom turns up with half the agreed dowry amount.
Ask Sunbelt Legal
Sunbelt Asia Legal Advisors is here to help with any legal issues you may have in Thailand. Send any questions you have to me and I will forward them to Sunbelt and run their response in the next column.
Question 1: If I go in to a drug store on Sukhumvit and buy Viagra, what happens if some time later the police decide to search me (I’ve never been stopped or searched in Thailand but have read about it on you site), am I legal? Can or will the police do anything to me because I have Viagra on me that I bought over the counter at a drug store in Bangkok?
Sunbelt Legal responds: Thai law does require that you have a prescription from a doctor to purchase Viagra and it is illegal to purchase it without a doctor’s prescription. It is not on the list of controlled substances. However, if you are stopped by police and have it on your person without a prescription you may have problems.
Question 2: My wife is a Thai citizen, and we married in Thailand. The state of Alaska is responsible for my retirement but refuses to give me 100% of my monthly check unless my Thai wife signs a waiver form and has it notarized in Thailand by someone who can notarize in English with an English stamp. Do you provide such services and if so, what are the fees?
Sunbelt Legal responds: We at Sunbelt Asia Legal Advisors offer this service – however your wife has to be here in the country. We are able to notarize it in English with an English stamp by our licensed notary.
Question 3: I went to the Tessaban to report about fires in a residential area but they would not take my complaint. They said it was not against the law. Could you ask Sunbelt legal which law applies here so I can print it out and bring it with me? Thanks.
Sunbelt Legal responds: In general, laws are set by the Tessaban and some may or may not have ordinances against burning in the city. Generally, most do have bans against city burning but it may be that the official you reported to may not be aware of the law or may not wish to enforce it. You might want to consider reporting to the police. However, it is important to note that if you live in a small village it may be more effective appealing to the village headman for assistance in dealing with a neighbor who burns rubbish next to your house.
On talkback radio this week the host commented on two popular spots in the south island of New Zealand which he felt would be ruined by tourism. New Zealand, like Thailand, is experiencing a tourism boom and visitor numbers are skyrocketing. Economically it is great, but the rate of growth is so fast that infrastructure is struggling to keep up. Small, popular towns in the South Island like Arrowtown and Tekapo are being over-run with visitors to the extent that they’re losing – some would say have already lost – their charm. It made me think about the effect massive numbers of visitors are having in Thailand. On my last trip to Phuket in late 2014 I thought Patong was ruined and I just could not see the appeal of the place. Too many people, too much development had made it feel nothing like Thailand. Now I hear that some neighbourhoods in Chiang Mai are struggling to accommodate all of the visitors and the city is losing its charm. You also hear of places in Europe where visitors numbers have reached such levels that locals are saying enough is enough as visitors feel a backlash from locals who want their town back. Tourism is going gangbusters the world over and shows no sign of slowing down. As many people put more emphasis on doing things and accruing experiences, where is tourism going? Phuket was once the jewel in the Thailand tourism crown but now it’s stuffed. Can we expect similar elsewhere? I wonder what the future of tourism will look like.
Your Bangkok commentator,