Stickman's Weekly Column April 13th, 2003

ICQ Is A Thai Girl Lover’s Best Friend

I am becoming tired of your emails asking me how to meet a nice Thai girl. This week I offer you one means of meeting nice Thai girls, a method that will help make the Thai girls come to you…

Some people say it is just about impossible to meet one, whereas others argue that they are constantly fighting off great numbers of them. Thai women. Are they the elusive creatures that many farangs make them out to be?

He Clinic Bangkok

As I have mentioned in previous columns numerous times, I am not entirely comfortable giving out a list of instructions on how one should go about meeting the so called good Thai girls, so what follows here is basic instructions along with a few hints on how to increase your exposure in such a way that nice Thai girls will, with a bit of luck, come to you.

What follows is merely one very simple way to significantly increase your chances to meet nice Thai ladies. There are many other ways to go about it and this should be just looked at as no more than one slightly unconventional approach, albeit one that more than a few people have used with tremendous success.

There are three magical letters: I, C, Q. Yes, ICQ, the real time chat programme with around 200 million people registered worldwide is one place to hang out that will greatly increase your chances of meeting nice Thai women. If you are unfamiliar with it, ICQ is a small internet programme that allows you to chat with anyone running the same programme at the same time, anywhere in the world. It was the forerunner to the now ever popular MSN Messenger.

CBD bangkok

You need to install this programme on your computer. Once installed the critical point is that when you set up your account, you input your details as if you live in Bangkok (whether you do or don't). What happens is that Thai women interested in meeting a Western man will scour through the list of people online, hunting for a Westerner. They look for guys with Western sounding names, and when they see someone, they will send you a message to engage you in conversation – and you are away. What happens from then on is up to you… Note: if for any reason you have a strange sounding name that might not reflect the fact that you are a Westerner, then it might pay to amend your details a little.

Of course you have to spend a lot of time online and having a permanent / always on internet connection helps a lot.

One may ask why we wait for the Thai girls to come on to us rather than us chase them? Well, a girl who approaches you already has some interest in getting to know you. She might simply want to chat with you and kill a few minutes before her next bowl of rice, or alternatively she may well be looking for a Western husband. That she approaches you lets you know that she is interested in something…

There is another side to all of this. Thai girls have for some time been constantly bothered online by males and many of them will amend their profile to conceal that they are Thai, such have the problems of bothersome men become. Men from the Indian subcontinent and the Middle East have quite a reputation for bothering Thai women online and making direct propositions from the outset.

wonderland clinic

As I have discussed many times before in this column, the internet provides the IDEAL way for Thai women to meet men, especially Western men. In Thai society, it is unusual for a women to pursue a man, yet this can be done subtly online. The most important thing is that whatever happens online is virtually invisible to that woman's friends and family so if things do not work out, or if she is just looking for a quick bit of fun, no-one need ever know. And believe me, the vast majority of Thai women do NOT want their friends to know that they have been having a bit of discrete fun. There would be significant face loss, even if she had scored a night of romance with Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. Nice Thai girls do not screw around, no matter what.

And if you are unsure as to the potential success of such relationships, at the start of last year a lady came online and said a simple "hello" to me. Last month the two of us got married. She was one of perhaps 250+ such Thai girls who had approached me online.

It is said that dog is man's best friend but believe me, ICQ is a Thai female lover's best friend.

Where is this pic?

Last week's pic

It was the Patumwan intersection and
the building is Siam Discovery Centre.

This week's pic

Last week's pic was of the Patumwan intersection and the building in the top left of the picture was the Siam Discovery Centre. Many people got it right, but almost as many people wrongly guessed that it was the intersection by the World Trade Centre. There are two prizes offered for the where is this pic. One person, irrespective of location, wins the prize of $25 worth of goodies from ClubHombre which will be shipped to you anywhere in the world. In addition to this, the first Bangkok based person to answer the pic correctly wins a 500 baht credit to use at the Classics Movie Lounge. So, to all Bangkok based folks, make it clear in your email that you are Bangkok based so that you qualify for the cream that will send your teeruk to heaven!


You should have decked them…or given a few bucks to the local motorcycle boys to sort them out.

There are gogo bars in Thailand. There are girlie beer bars in Thailand… Now, that's pretty well known to all of you BUT apparently, some folk haven't figured that THAILAND IS NOT A GOGO BAR! I was going for lunch with a friend of mine in a perfectly respectable seaside restaurant, well outside the “scene”. My friend is a pretty, nice Thai woman, about my age – 27 – has a regular job, and dresses herself better then average. It was pretty obvious she was with me, but as we were heading for our table, we passed two farangs in their mid-fifthies, fat and loud. One of them told her to come over and sit on his lap and that he would give her money. He didn’t look drunk. He really believed that a couple bucks would have her jump over him right in the restaurant. My friend smiled and we went for a table as far away as possible from the pigs. Although she had “smiled”, she was quite upset to be taken for a prostitute and asked me why they thought she was one. Quite an embarrassing question to answer – especially since the real answer is “because you are with a farang”. As we walked back to get our "checkbill" we passed the two guys again as they were heading for their Land Rover. One of them saw my friend again, just by my side, and told her to come with them and that they would pay her well. She managed another smile, declined politely and we were on our way. Boy was she upset! For anyone with a titbit of insight into Thai people, that smile means “you are the lowest creature I have met so far". As for me, had the same thing happened back home, I would have gone and smashed their dirty faces on the floor…and would have received applause for it too. This being Thailand, I tried the Thai way, and smiled, barely hiding my disgust. Hell, Where did they think they were? Even in a gogo bar you don’t ask a girl that is already with another guy. Thailand is not a gogo bar.

Poor is not so bad…at least he didn't refer to me as a mummy's boy.

Do Thai women really like farang men. And if so, why? Many cynics would point to the size of their wallets However, this does not adequately account for the educated, relatively affluent Thai women who marry relatively poor farangs like Stickman. There must be something else going on. The shortcomings of Thai men have been discussed at length in these columns so I do not intend to add any scathing comments of my own. I am reminded of Joe F, who I went to school with in London. To me he was a nice enough bloke, average looking but a bit quiet and effeminate. To the girls, he was a heartthrob. I could never understand how it was that he kept getting laid while the rest of us were struggling to lose our virginity. 20 years and a few trips round the world since, things have come a bit clearer. In countries where the women are most "feminine" (Thailand and SE Asia, southern Europe, Latin America), the men are predominantly spoilt mummy's boy types. In countries where the women are least feminine (NZ and Australia, Britain, central Africa, North America), the men are predominantly macho types. Based on the theory that opposites attract, it is natural that a feminine Thai girl will be physically attracted to a masculine farang, while a butch Kiwi girl will be attracted to a wimpy Joe F type. Just look at all the couples around you.

Maybe it's time to upgrade your stereo?

I went an electronics store at MBK to buy a stereo. I was served by ignorant young Thai guys who knew nothing about any product, but that only as a side note. I found something I liked and as I proceed to purchase the item, I am asked to fill in a warranty card with my address and telephone number. The same day, at around 21.00h I receive a call from a female employee of the store wanting to meet me. Go figure. She would get fired in any other country. I don't mind it, but I think it's amazing! Since, I have received calls and SMSs twice a week from her. I did not meet her yet, because first, she only speaks Thai so conversation is very limited and I did not notice any attractive girls when I bought my stereo. But I will go back to the store and take a look.

We're all winners.

You asked if any farang had won a prize in the lottery. I have played exactly twice, and won twice. Total of about 24k baht. But no problem cashing the tickets in (once at a market in Pattaya, and once at the night market in Chiang Mai), but as I was warned, you must make sure the vendor doesn't withhold more than the allotted few percent they get to keep for the transaction (3% I think but the exact amount escapes me right now). They played it square with me after examining the tickets very closely.

Going, going, and now, just about gone. Word coming out of what remains of Clinton Plaza is that the final nail in the coffin will be hammered in at the end of May. Clinton is now a sad sight, a littering of quiet bars with a lot of sad looking staff. Clinton promised so much but its success was ultimately curtailed by the construction of the new 5 star hotel on that prime piece of land. While it is still technically alive, it looks more like it's dead.

All of the nonsense going on in our world is really starting to hit the bar areas. At Nana and Cowboy, things are much quieter than one would expect, with many saying that it is the quietest pre Songkran period since the crash in '97. However, over at Patpong, business at Patpong remains largely unaffected with bars doing what could be considered the usual level of trade for this time of year. In Pattaya, the larger, more popular bars seem to be doing business as usual, but a lot of the smaller bars are REALLY suffering with more than a few of the farang bar owners of these smaller establishments nervous as to how long they can stay in business.

Drunk punters thought the sky was falling down and tipsy gogo girls thought that Buddha was finally punishing them for their sins. But what had really happened? Staff and customers alike in Hollywood Strip heard a huge crash and the roof fell in above the girls' changing rooms on the balcony near the office. It was a katoey evading police after three ladyboys stole a customer's money! The punter was robbed in the short time room nearby Hollywood Strip and the katoeys were off like sprinters, up the fire escape and then CRASH, straight through Hollywood Strip's ceiling! Startled staff and customers looked on in disbelief as a katoey rushed out of the bar carrying only one shoe and part of the roof with her! Two were caught but the transsexual paratrooper got away. Luckily the roof will be cheap to repair. It really is never dull in Thailand!

I really have to wonder about the way that the Ministry of Health is handing the SARS issue here and it is the orders to wear masks that make me wonder the most. Imagine you are walking down the street and you see someone wearing a mask…and just to spice things up a bit, imagine that they are coughing. Odds are that you are going to get out of their way fairly fast and give them a wide berth. How will street vendors see such people? Someone with a mask entering a restaurant may well be asked to leave by the proprietor for fear that other customers will walk out, and potential customers will not enter. A taxi driver may well not pick up people wearing the masks. Dear I say it, if I was coming from one of these countries and was confident that I was ok, I would not wear a mask. You'd just be singling yourself out for unwanted attention. And just to make it all seem like a complete waste of time, I have heard it said that the masks won't stop the transmission of the disease!

Last weekend I made it up to the Royal Palace at Bangpa-in, which is about 20 km south of Ayyuthya. In a strange way, it reminded me a little of a cross between Disneyland and Singapore because it was clinically clean, yet it still had that unmistakable Thai flavour. The Royal Palace at Bangpa-in is yet another excellent tourist attraction worth visiting. Of course the Thais do their best too spoil it by charging 30 baht for the locals and 100 baht for foreigners, with a great big sign saying "100 baht for foreigners". And if that wasn't enough, hiring one of the electric cars to drive around the grounds is 250 baht for Thais and 400 for foreigners. Still, if your Thai is good enough, they will let you in for the local price. I hate being aggressive in this country but telling the girl at the window that you live and work here in decent Thai with a nasty look on your face that gives her the impression that you will slap her if she argues usually does the trick. And, don't forget to take lots of film or memory cards because it really is a landscape or garden photographer's dream up there.

The Royal Palace at Bangpa-in is well worth visiting.

The Shark Club in Patong was popular for some time before it was closed down, with one of the reasons cited that there was no fire escape. Obviously this was purely a lame excuse for the club has just re-opened under the name of Star Wars, but if you think a new fire escape has been installed, you'd be wrong. It remains as before…

Following on from the link in last week's column to a site with the bios of various Thai girls who trawl Bangkokchat, a friend sent an email to one of the girls. The friend did not know the girl in question and hadn't previously had any communication with her. He sent an email apologising for not being in contact for a while and asking how she was. Her prompt reply was that she too missed him. This sounds awfully familiar…!

I have written about Songkran before so don't see the need to write much about it again this year. To read last year's thoughts on it, link to the Stickman Weekly of 7/4/2002. The major difference this year seems to be the prohibition on guns, which is strange because just about every store still seems to be selling water guns, and the prohibition placed on females to wear sexy tops, which again will be hard to enforce.

Mrs. Stick's Corner

Mrs. Stick is not your typical Thai girl. As a youngster she used to be captivated by news from abroad and she excelled at English from an early age. Needless to say, she keeps an eye on what farangs are doing in her beloved Thailand and is always interested in what we do here, why we chose to come to Thailand, what we think of the place and so on. Each week, she will answer questions about Thai / farang relationships and general issues that baffle the average Westerner in Thailand. Please send questions to her, via me, at the usual email address. Two or three questions will be chosen each week and answered in the following week's column. The responses are hers and NOT mine although I may attempt to correct her English from time to time. Note 1: I may not necessarily agree with what she says! Note 2: Unfortunately, she doesn't have time to reply to your inquiries via email.

Question 1: Tell me the bad things about Thai men that you dislike so that we know what makes Thai girls want to date Western men.

Mrs. Stick says:

The way that Thai society teaches Thai men and the way that their fathers show them how through the way that that man treats his wife (the Thai main's mother). But Thai men have many good things that most farang men don't have. I think a lot of it goes back to the way that they wee brought up.

As I'm away from Bangkok this weekend celebrating Songkran, the column went up early. As it was finished early, there is less news this week than last…

Your Bangkok commentator,


nana plaza