"Thai man no good!" After "you buy cola", "you pay bar", and "you butterfly", these four words are probably the most common words to roll of the lips of the average Thai bar girl.
But why is it that the girls say it? The reason that many Thai girls cite for saying this is that many claim to have had their hearts broken by local boys who simply couldn't keep it in their pants – and were off to party with the next pretty girl they met. Yep, while the guide books will tell you that Thais are somewhat conservative when it comes to sex, the upcountry Thais really are a randy bunch, and many of them are downright promiscuous. Who can blame them – there isn't a hell of a lot else to do up in the villages!
But while the Thai man, according to the bar girls, is no good – the farang man, that is the farang man in Thailand – IS FAR WORSE! Of all of the farang guys I know locally who are married, at least half of them have had fun behind their Mrs's back, and many of them do so on a regular basis. And it'd be a safe bet to say that some of those who have remained faithful so far, will inevitably stray away. And no, I'm not talking marriages with former bargirls where both parties often enter marriage with a record of dishonesty and cheating, but guys who have married decent girls.
It is not only the Thai guys who are playing behind their girlfriend's backs. It is the whole attitude towards women and sex in Thailand that makes such extramarital activities so prevalent. For any man in Thailand, it is so easy to go out and get your itch scratched and for many, it is considered normal. It is not the Thai man who is necessarily the bad guy. It is the whole attitude towards sex and the huge commercial sex industry that is more to blame.
Don't get me wrong. What people get up to in, or outside of their marriage is none of my business – and it may even be that there is more adultery in the West than there is in Thailand. But to say that Thai men are bad because they are less faithful than Thailand based farangs is more than misleading, it is quite simply false.
Don't get me wrong for I am not a huge fan of the way that some of the Thai guys treat women like toys, but in terms of being faithful, we really aren't any better. But this nonsense that Thai men are 100 times worse than farang men in respect of being a butterfly, is absolute nonsense. Us foreigners are the biggest bunch of sexually active and adventurous folks in the Kingdom.
If she said to you that Thai men were so much better than farangs and that they were far more to her preference, how would you feel? Let's just say that she would be looking for a new customer!
Where is this pic?
A precise answer please…
Remember, the first person to email me with the right answer wins a fantastic calendar with pictures of Thai ladies from the good folks at ThaiTemptations.com. Last week's picture was taken on Soi Thaniya, the "Japanese Patpong". The first person with the right answer was….Mr No-one! The sign is huge and I was surprised no-one got it right. I guess it means that readers of this column are a bunch of wholesome individuals because photos taken in the nightlife areas don't seem to get guessed correctly, whereas shots in other areas get guessed correctly very fast!
Email address – Gerd
Looks like he was lucky to walk away from this.
Cripes, I got it wrong again. Suzy Wong HAS been sold and it appears that work is underway on it. Expect it to open some time in the next couple of months.
Whosyourdaddy noticed the farang mamasan in Mandarin Bar licking her lips and simply unable to keep her eyes off some of the girls dancing in her bar. Whosyourdaddy's question is this: "Does the mamasan take the girls for a test drive"?
Just to add fire to the underage debate, did you know that many Thais register the births of their children some time after the child is born? So, while her ID card says one thing, she may actually be a little older than it says… Actually, this was much more of a problem in the past than it is now, but there are more than a few girls around with a genuine ID card that has a less than genuine date of birth – that is, their birth certificate is wrong too!
A quote from Miss Stick this past week, which caught me pleasantly by surprise. "Thai people are polite with words only, whereas farangs are polite through their actions and really mean it."
What is it with all of these non bar-girl Thai ladies who love to parade themselves in public wearing loose jeans with a low waist that allow all of us perverts to sneak a glance… While they may believe themselves to be good girls, I wonder if they really realise that all and sundry are stealing a glance. Why don't they at least wear a belt? I'm convinced they WANT us to look.
If you are after a decent map of the city, you could go to Asia Books and drop anywhere between 35 and 150 baht, or you could go and grab a free copy of the King Power Duty free shop free map. Its a good one with points of interest marked AND it has the sky train overlaid on it too.
Ken, the ex-manager from Dollhouse had been MIA ever since leaving Dollhouse a few weeks ago but has resurfaced as the man in charge of Dream A Gogo – the place tucked down the soi opposite Happy A Gogo. Previously Dream was anything but a dream with few girls, crap music and a pushy mamasan. However it is a large place (bigger than Happy) and Ken obviously saw some potential. Ken seems to have that ability that precious few in the industry have to inject "life" into a place (similar to Larry at Rock Hard) and this is what has happened at Dream. Now with over 50 girls, great music and lively atmosphere, it seems that Dream could give the other large gogos a run for their money. Ken has taken the liberty of "stealing" some Dollhouse ideas, such as service girls in similar Dollhouse-style uniforms and also taking turns dancing. In addition the bar name will change to the Living Doll A Gogo – ooh, what will Dollhouse think about that?! This could be the new place to hang out. And last night in that bar, all of customers got the shock of their life when a farang bird jumped up on stage, stripped off, and got down and dirty with the girls who were doing a show!
Other places in Pattaya seem to be very quiet. The military exercise, Cobra Gold, is actively taking place but based in Sattahip and not many of the military seem to get into Pattaya for a night out…poor them! I wonder if the fact that many girls attempted to collude on price and charge 2,000 baht short-time had anything to do with it? Som nam na, ladies.
Are the lewd shows back in Pattaya? In Tiger A Gogo which is apparently under new management, it seems to be back to how it was. A dark, small stage housing a full show. Let's just say that what was going on down there proves that once again, Heineken is the bargirl's choice – that's the bottle variety of Heineken, thank you very much.
Why is it that is costs 15 baht to take the skytrain from ChongNonsee station to Surasak station, yet they are adjacent stations? Going just one stop anywhere else on the sky train costs just 10 baht, as far as I know.
When Clinton Plaza first opened, one of the problems was that when it rained, the whole area out the back where all of the gogo bars are, flooded. I was told by one of the bar owners that there were plans to redo the drainage so that this would no longer be an issue. Clinton Plaza not being on my hit list very often, I just assumed that the work had been done, and the drainage problem sorted… Well, we all know about assumptions making an ASS of U and ME. I found myself in The Dollhouse Clinton Plaza this week and been there just a few minutes when the rain started to come down. It didn't rain that long, and it really was not that heavy, but bugger me if the drainage problem has not been fixed. It was like a river outside the Dollhouse and the surrounding beer bars and one needed a boat to get out of there dry. Luckily, it drained away about 30 minutes after the rain stopped falling. With the unseasonable rain we are currently experiencing, Clinton Plaza will need to operate a new boat service. Entrepreneurial motorcycle riders could surely do well by charging customers ten baht to take them the 30 or so metres from the Dollhouse to the main road – and keeping their perceives shoes and trousers dry.
Yeah, if you hadn't realised, it has been unseasonably wet. I won't guarantee the accuracy of this, but I never remember May ever being this wet. In the area where I live, I think it has rained all but two days this month. Never enough to force one to put off plans however. It is quite pleasant as the rain seems have contributed to the lower temperatures.
Did you know that all three of the Dollhouse gogo bars are totally katoey free? Well worth knowing if you are unable to pick who the ladyboys are…and some of them are bloody hard to pick!
Will Cascade Bar in Nana Plaza ever re-open? Things are looking awfully grim for the Crown Group after the absolute debacle when that bar opened. And in G Spot Bar, their biggest bar for now, they are about 70 ladies down on six months ago. A combination of many girls leaving when G Spot was closed by the police and a number of girls getting married off to customers.
At the end of the day, they are women…and women are well, bloody hard to understand… As my best friend's father once said to me, "by the time you learn the rules of the game, it is just about game over".
The ticket machines at the BTS stations indicate that only 5 and 10 baht coins can be used, but in reality they accept 1 baht coins too. Its a good way to get rid of all of that annoying shrapnel that accrues in no time. Now if only the machines would accept satang coins too…
Does the BTS not want all of our one baht coins?
In certain parts of the city, there are foreigners living, foreigners who have no obvious form of income. The way they are dressed and the way they present themselves also suggests that very few, if any, Thai companies would be prepared to employ them. They just hang around… I have often wondered what they get up to, that is until I notice some of these really dodgy characters making frequent trips to the local Western Union office. So it seems, they receive frequent money transfers, presumably from abroad, and this is how they survive. Anyway, some of these folks are somewhat annoyed at the way that the immigration department is tightening up on things. In the past Western Union required only to view one's passport to determine that the receiver of a money transfer was the person who they purported to be – and Western would take a photocopy fo the main page of that person's passport. But now, under instruction from the Thai immigration department, they must also CHECK the latest visa and photocopy it. Now things get really interesting if the visa is not current. Western Union staff are under instruction to retain the passport and contact immigration immediately if anyone has an expired visa. It is as if the Western Union staff are now carrying out a small part of the duties for the immigration department. And this retaining the passport business, well it is going to get a reaction from people. This will lead to problems – mark my words. I'm all for people being legal – and anyone overstaying their visa is stupid, but it is just another pointer that things are heading somewhat totalitarian. And I wouldn't put it past some of these dodgy characters to leap the counter in the Western Union office if they felt that immigration people were on their way to see them.
Guard your mobile phone very carefully. More than a few of my friends have had problems with the mobile phone going walk about. One put it down on a desk in a hospital and within 60 seconds it had gone. Another left it in a taxi and realised just a couple of minutes later but the driver had already turned it off, and no doubt had plans to head over to Mahboonkrong and sell it. This week's events were not entirely dis-similar. A friend left her mobile phone in the taxi and realised the moment she closed the door of the cab. She screamed at the driver to stop the car – and the driver made eye contact with her at that point – but he put his foot down and was off. She set off chase but the driver wouldn't let up and ran a red at one of the busiest intersections in the city, the promise of the couple of thousand baht he knew he would get for the phone being worth the risk of driving like an idiot. Obviously not all cab drivers are like this, but it is worth remembering that mobile phones are like gold – they can be turned into baht (albeit not that much) almost instantly.
I'm not shy to complain about the prices of accommodation on some of Thailand's islands and beaches. At times it seems that you pay more for a filthy, dilapidated old shack than you would for a decent motel room back in my corner of Farangland. Something is up. Anyway, a friend was down on Ko Chang last week and found a bungalow for 50 baht – yes FIFTY BAHT! He couldn't stand up and said that it reminded him of a primitive version of a Japanese capsule hotel. But, if you want to do the islands super cheap, it seems that on Ko Chang at least, you still can.
Remember the first girl you ever barfined? Yep, odds are that you have find feelings of her. I remember my first, a girl in Rock Hard A GoGo in May 1997 called Noi. Had worked there a year, spoke dreadful English and really, I do not remember much else about her. Anyway, I returned to Phuket the following year and while I didn't have any delusions of love or marriage, I went looking for her. It was to be a couple of years after that before I returned to Phuket and again, I went looking for her. And in a recent trip to Phuket, well, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't go in there and have a look, as unlikely as it is that she would be there. Hell, if she was there, goodness only knows what I would have done. Anyway, I wonder, on subsequent trips to the Kingdom, have you gone searching for that first girl who you barfined. There's something weird about it, your first Thai girl, sort of like the girl you lost your cherry with.
Word from two friends with Orange phones, or rather one friend with one and another friend who had one, is that the reception is downright lousy. Signal strength is reportedly weak all over the capital, and there are black spots all over the place where there is no signal at all. Might pay to wait for them to upgrade their network before being seduced by the cheap prices.
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Your Bangkok commentator,