What You Are Leaving Behind, A New World
The industry you’re leaving behind – as nightlife was the primary topic of Stickman – is going through another major change. The reasons might come as a surprise.
Yes, there are fewer customers willing to spend, as no economy anywhere is doing well. While that has changed the customer base, or at least their behavior (fewer lady drinks and barfines), it has also changed the nature of the women who work in the agogos. Much of the social stigma is disappearing. All Thais, save for the true elite, seem to accept that making ends meet is difficult, so who can judge a woman who uses the assets random chance handed her to try to make a living? The bargirl of 20 years ago was often a fresh-off-the-bus country girl from Buriram, who had never even seen a 1,000 baht note, but those are fewer and farther between, at least in Bangkok. Today, the dancer on stage may well work as a nurse or accountant during the daytime, or she’s a university student. The job at night is for supplemental income, to make sure she can meet life’s expenses.
Because the income is supplemental, the woman can afford to be more selective. She might agree to a barfine, but only if the customer has some appeal. (This is for top women; stage fillers are still sure things.) The ‘winning’ customer best have some game. Being fit is a plus. So is dressing well. Having a personality is also a plus. Treating the woman as a human being helps, too. Of course, money is important, but many guys won’t even get a chance to flash the cash, because they fail to meet the woman’s pre-selection criteria. Also, there is no racial preference. Despite an oft heard complaint, the women do not favor one ethnicity over another. East or West have the same chance.
As for the customers, the change I see is fewer old foreigners and more young Asians and young Westerners. Something that strikes me is that the young men are rather disrespectful, treating the women as props. They seem to think buying one lady drink gives them unfettered access to every bit of a woman’s body, while still in full public view. Mates compete to see who can touch the most delicate parts, showing off for each other. As you might expect, most women do not appreciate that and often stand up and walk off. (I’m beginning to understand why today 30% of men in the US now reach age 30 as virgins. No game and no social skills. The mobile phone and online porn created masturbating momma’s boys on the one hand and Andrew Tates on the other.)
I used to visit agogos maybe once every few weeks, finding it kind of boring and repetitive, but as an occasional diversion, not so bad. In the last year or two, I’ve gone out a bit more, because many of the women are quite interesting. I’ve also met women at the gym, but not so surprisingly, some of those women work in an agogo at night. I have become friends with many, and see them socially as friends, not customers. A drink, a meal, a chat…..they just happen to have chosen to spend some time working in the industry. I cannot judge, because I know my own life has been about as easy and comfortable as the life of any human born since we left Oldavai Gorge or Eden, depending on your belief system. I cannot say what I would do, if born as they were, nor can I say they wouldn’t have dwarfed my own success had they been born me. That makes us equals in an odd way, so it’s easy to treat them with the respect any person deserves.
So what we have now is a more interesting, relatively more sophisticated, and well-travelled woman working the agogos, coupled with a shrinking base of customers willing and able to spend. To me, that suggests a winner take all environment, with the likes of Billboard and Pattaya’s XS being survivors, but many other venues closing down as the months and years pass.
For the right customer, times have never been better, provided he leaves his Western morality and judgmental nature at the check-in desk back home. Yes, the woman he meets might work in an agogo, but she’s smart, might have vacationed in Rome or Paris, knows a lot about the world, and—save for her job—is no different than a woman he might meet at the office, through friends, on a dating site, or any other place men and women find each other. She may well have even had fewer partners than the “normie” woman he meets in the office. The line between so-called good girls and bargirls is being erased.
As much as your knowledge of Thailand and the nightlife industry dwarfs mine, I’ll tell you something even you may never have heard…..I have a friend at Billboard who comes and sits for drinks and chats. The other evening she started talking finance and told me she has Tesla and Nvidia in her “portfolio”. Did you ever, in all your years chronicling the bar industry, meet a woman with a portfolio of Western tech stocks? It’s a new world.
