Thoughts On Less Sex

Your column opening piece on 27 November, Are Sex Tourists Having Less Sex, seemed to stand in stark contrast to the rest of your column. High season is hopping (It is.) Nana and Soi Cowboy are packed. (They are.) Sex is down. (Most probably.)

I think that dichotomy, however, pretty much nails reality. How can this be? More males but less sex….and in a land where most would say the women are particularly lovely?

As a keen observer of the agogo scene, I do think the number of barfines/liaisons per customer is down considerably. I see fewer barfines heading out the door of the clubs I visit, but I also find the women for whom I might buy a drink faster than before to broach the subject of a dalliance….and I’m no Jackson Wang. Maybe some women have become ‘drink only’, but I see fewer lady drinks being bought even in packed bars, which may be why many women push for the quicky 3,000. Customers, by and large, are there for the show alone. The chance for extras is there for those so inclined. The women are ready for game day.

I think you hit on a lot of the reasons why carnal assignations are down. Money seems to be the Number 1 factor. Inflation, exchange rates and higher ask prices by the women in the trade all contribute to men being less able to pay. Most visitors and expats alike have a smaller wad.  It’s possible some men have become shy, too, as it’s been a few years since many have had to endure the stares of Western females looking in harsh judgement (or jealousy) of a middle aged guy walking with a petite 20-something Thai woman. Younger Western males have their own problem: they have grown up surrounded by judgmental females, so they might tend to be gun shy and carrying a bit of ‘wokeness’, even if they don’t think so.

There also seems to be less interest in sex across the species, or at least it’s not happening as much. Maybe we’re evolving away from it, though that would fly in the face of Darwinian Selection, as people who don’t reproduce are not going to have their gene pool selected in. The trend toward less sex seems to have started in Japan a decade ago, but now upwards of 30% of US males reach age 30 as virgins, whereas I failed to reach age 16 without having done the deed. (Incels, or the involuntary celibate, is another topic which has dangerous ramifications; NYU professor Scott Galloway says the most dangerous human is an unsexed male.) Maybe these men just have no game, as they’ve grown up speaking to women via message apps and not in person, and they also have a skewed and unrealistic view of sex, because of too much exposure to porn.

Then there’s what I think is a key reason: plummeting testosterone levels. The reasons are myriad: changing diet, hormone-disrupting plastics which now even fall in the rain and are in fish and in groundwater, lack of exercise, and obesity. Obesity is often associated with Type II diabetes, and that disease hampers testosterone production as well as being a factor in erectile disfunction. Absent a good level of the T-hormone, and guys go limp, mentally and physically.

Personally, I’m as frisky as I was at age 16, and if I find a woman with whom I can build a connection, I’m happy to juice the averages. Considering the aforementioned reasons why the average may be down, I can see why I’m an outlier. My career gave me sufficient wealth that inflation or higher prices do not affect me. I also seem to do all of the things that mitigate a drop in testosterone: I’m a life-long gym rat and do lots of resistance training, which research shows prompts the body to release both testosterone and HGH. I have around 10% body fat, so I don’t suffer the effects of obesity, which lowers both testosterone levels and libido. Obesity also saps energy, as it takes a lot to tote around useless adipose tissue. Also, my diet isn’t particularly red meat heavy, but I will sit down to a nice filet mignon or a juicy grass-fed beef burger, so get the B-12 and leucine that aid in testosterone production. There are even natural supplements, like Tongkat Ali, which reportedly help increase testosterone production (see Dr Andrew Huberman of Stanford Medical School).

As for the decline in the attractiveness of the women in the agogos (as a reason for fewer liaisons), I disagree. In a bar like Billboard, I can find women as attractive as any I remember from a decade or two ago. The fact Billboard is packed every night would corroborate the view that the women are fetching. The Tatt Fad seems to be dying off, as fewer newcomers are inked, and they maintain that clean skin look over time. For me, that is a plus. Thai skin and coloration are lovely. Many of the women in the agogos are also better educated than in years past, and dare I say more sophisticated. They are more interesting as people, which enhances their appeal. Conversations have gone beyond the “Hello, What’s your name? Where you come from? On holiday or business? Nice to meet you.” In years past few women knew much of anything beyond the Thai border and culture, while today some have a much greater understanding of the wider world. I’m not sure what ‘golden days of endless beauties’ some punters think they recall, but I suspect that feeling has much more to do with the newness of it all back then, and their youth, which has now left them.

While the number of trysts per male may well have dropped dramatically from a decade ago, for the man who is fit and flush, both the desire and opportunity are as strong as they ever were. Maybe that fact will encourage punters to get in shape and work to save more. The women with whom I have had the opportunity to meet are as willing to spend lots of time with a customer as women were decades ago, whether that’s for a late night snack or breakfast in the morning.

The author of this article cannot be contacted.