Readers' Submissions

Wild Times

  • Written by Anonymous
  • November 20th, 2020
  • 8 min read


To support the site I’m putting this together to keep us all motivated on all things Thailand.

I’m literally like a caged animal waiting to get back out there! I work all the hours God sends in order to allow me my global freedom and now it’s gone. What a strange time we’re in here, I mean, when will this end! There is talk of a vaccine and I’m holding hope for that, if all else fails I will be going there and doing the mandatory prison sentence of 14 days’ quarantine regardless. It is what it is.

I can’t wait to be sat in a hot bar with an ice-cold Singha beer looking over whatever random street I’ve chosen.

I worked in Thailand for a few years which have now ended, thank the lord. However, I had my fair share of crazy moments, a few of which I’m going to document just for the sake of your amusement if nothing else. I’m going to have to tread very careful here or Stick WILL ban me for sure or simply not post this.

In no particular order.

So I’ve been at work all day. I’m out there on my own so get on WeChat and look for some “friends”. At this point I’ve not a clue what I’m looking for and like an eBay buy-it-now I’m looking for the best deal I can get. A few girls I like are going to be too long, the best ones are too good to possibly be true so I opted for a 1500 baht treat.

My lady of the night was of few words but she did mention an eBay special deal just for me of 3,000 baht for 2? Oooh, I say! Send me a picture of the other victim! She does but I’m not so sure this is real so I state that unless they send me a picture together with the thumbs up I’m going no further. To my surprise the picture arrives and there they are, thumbs up and all so I send them my location and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait ….. and then the phone rings.

“Good evening, sir, this is reception, you have someone downstairs to see you.”

Someone, I say? You mean 2 girls? “No, sir 2 people.”

Here we go, send them up.

So I open the door and presented in front of me is indeed 2 people. One girl very in my face and happy as the other super shy and moved around like a ninja.

So I let them in and they want money upfront. I pay and off they go to shower, At this point I’m on to them thanks to the bell boy. It seems my ladies of the night are also boys but do they have bells? This detective sets to work.

So back into the room they come and at this point I’m not interested. Had they not lied possibly I’d have had a play but I don’t do lies.

I sat them both down like a disappointed father would and asked them to reveal all. They did. 1 bell for sure the other had had the full op so I requested they have fun with each other and I will watch, or I simply get a refund.

They were not happy at all.

Had my hotel not taken both ID cards I’d have been in trouble but as they had refused my show request plus used most of my bathroom products out of my toiletry bag I demanded not only my money back but also 500 baht to replace the products stolen. They paid up and away they went.  A nice 500 baht tip for me.

I’m sure I stopped shopping that night and just didn’t bother. Had that been eBay I would have left negative feedbacsSk for my dishonest sellers!

My next adventure was in South Thailand. I was bored and the city I was staying in was locked down to a point due to a Muslim vs. Buddhist issue as I recall, so again I hit up WeChat to see who was local.

I found a ladyboy named Chompoo, as I recall. Now let it be said men do absolutely nothing for me but at this stage I was interested let’s say and I’m not on this earth to not experience all that life has to offer. She seemed nice so came over. I read lots of stories about good looking ladyboys who look like women. This one was rough at best but it was simply a naughty visit really.

What I did like was how safe I felt with my little friend and definitely not a crazy on pills that usually send them nuts. Box ticked but I must say the smell of another guy etc was not for me but no regrets.

The next one let it be said was wild to a point. I could have ended up in hot water had they all grouped together on me but here goes. I’ve never actually told anyone this story.

I was so happy to be back in Thailand and I was there in the country first with my work mates to follow I think a day or 2 behind me so before anyone else arrived I went absolutely 10/10 full on nuts. I think I’d taken out with me 45,000 baht and I was on to blow the lot in one night. Work hard, play hard and all that. I’d started slow in a Bangkok district and ramped it up ending in a bar where I knew everyone. I was absolutely wasted and on water by 11 PM. I’m sure I’d been out since 2 PM ish. Anyway, I’d been buying the whole bar drinks for a good 2 hours when the urge came over me to come.

Up with a package deal, the issue was in this particular bar they all knew me. I’d been with a few of the girls already and that didn’t end well as it’s not good practice to take different girls from the same bar so I’d gone further out of my usual places and chose a random bar I’d never been to.

I got settled in and then started racking up my lady friends. 5 in total. I chose carefully, must be fit, must be polite, trustworthy, up for it and finally slightly twisted in the head. Of course I did not achieve any of this but I’m letting you guys know I tried.

I’d negotiated with mamasan and tried to get her thrown in for free but failed and away I go. The look I got from the taxi driver when I put 5 girls in the back was brilliant. He looked at me like I was sick in the head. A wise man.

Back at the hotel I had to tip my friendly bell boy to just let them in. I actually think all the admin I had to undertake getting these girls into my room was I’d say more than the embassy would have wanted for taking just one of them back to my home country! Lol

So into the room we go. 6 people, no matter how big your room, don’t fit in a shower. First lesson.

I was lucky as I found out 3 of the girls were leaving the bar that very week so losing any face with what was about to happen was of no concern. This was going to be as good as it gets.

I really want to put details here but Stick would go nuts but I made a massive Thai sandwich and I’ll never forget it. They were all fantastic and enjoyed each other as much as I did. One of them was even supplying water for the others! I remember all their names also and I will name as I know they don’t work there anymore and I actually think at least 3 of them are settled in other countries. Saw, Koi, Nee, Dee and Kimikim.

THANK YOU, GIRLS!

They all stayed the night, waking up to all of them was as good as the night before. They had breakfast with me, I tipped them all and away they went. A fantastic time.

It’s worth putting a note here. I’ve changed one of the names as she was written about on this very site within the last year and how she turned out amazes me. It’s not the first time I’ve been reading stories on this site and recognised one of the girls involved.

Ok the final one for now was a hot girl I met in a club. She had a locked typical Thai young mind in which I set about unlocking. It took me a few years but she sure found herself, she is as crazy as me and loves to tick “boxes” here goes. We have been busy.

On a beach, on a boat, pool table, on a flight, in the garden, stairs at the hotel, in a truck, in her home, in the sea, in the pool, on every balcony we ever had in any of our rooms, in the shower, in the bath, in a waterfall, in the rice field, against the truck, on her motorbike, on a rooftop in Bangkok, in the gym, her dressed as everything you could imagine, the top of a mountain and the cinema. I’m absolutely sure there are more.

I’ve made her my girlfriend it’s safe to say and she won’t be going anywhere.

She’s the only Thai I’ve come across who satisfies me in all areas.

Can’t wait to get back!

Mr no name given.

The author of this article cannot be contacted.