Short Time, Long Time, Good Time
I read a recent post critiquing a fellow who had an emotional dalliance with a bargirl and the author ended his missive by saying something along of the lines of: “You are not the victim.”
With all respect to all parties alluded to in that piece, I would have to say that I follow the line of that ‘Catch Me If You Can’ grifter when he was pretending to be a doctor and say, wholeheartedly, “I concur.”
I concur because anyone who has travelled to Thailand over many years will have a strong sense of its joys and pitfalls.
Now, the original post was by a fellow who had travelled to Thailand for 20 years. I suppose that there were many Stick readers who thought, “Damn it, man, you’re almost in the category of an Old Asia Hand…how could you let yourself get twisted around her finger like that?”
It is a reasonable question. But none of us are perfect and we all think that we are not susceptible to having our egos stroked and our ‘last chance saloon’ desire for love rekindled by a Thai angel.
And that is the problem: using the word LOVE. Most men understand that bar girls are providers of a service. It is not about love and it never will be. It is about pleasure! Love in a Thai beer bar is an illusion on the scale of David Copperfield.
This is a problem for some men who are mongers, but, deep down, don’t really want to be in that category. They think that their mature, easy-going nature, their kindness and their personality count. They don’t. Not with bar girls, anyway. They never have and they never will. Your finer attributes only count with your mates. They appreciate it if you’re a good bloke…the bar girl is just mentally counting her money.
I know that I’m not a fellow with model looks, no matter how much I am told that I’m a “handsome man.” I know that I am considered to be a walking wallet in Thailand and I protect my ASSets and my heart accordingly.
Maybe it’s a generational thing, but there seem to be any number of men in their 60s and 70s who are just aching to play husband. It’s like they think that others will think less of them if they are not in a serious relationship or marriage, so they go to the shallowest puddle to find the lowest class of girl to make it happen.
I don’t understand this – I’m in my late 40s and although I’ve lived with women before, the freedom of mongering is a wonderful tonic after years of monogamy.
Not to say that young guns are immune…I saw an Irish fellow on YouTube who fell for the ‘I need 30,000 baht to pay for an arrears motorbike loan’ scam…what a sad bloke.
We are all big boys. We know better than to fall for this sick buffalo nonsense.
I don’t care what others think. I don’t want to be respectable. I’m a middle-aged monger and I’m fine with that because it’s my life, not yours. I don’t want to play husband with some damaged trollop to gain the respect of people who will probably never even respect me being with an Asian woman anyway! (Even if she is hi-so, many in the West will think that she is a desperate hooker.)
If you are of retirement age and you have enough money to live a good life, just do that and leave the morality trip for the matrons and grumpy bitches in the West.
You see all those advertisements on Stick’s site? The Smooci ad? The ads for bars and clubs and festivals of flirty fun? Use them! Use them and have fun without any strings attached!
Save yourself a fortune and stick to P4P. Why have the expenditure of a thousand cuts by trying to take the girl out of the bar? You have a 99% chance of buying a one-way ticket to Loserville when you play the dumbest game of all – Captain Save-A-Ho. So, just don’t play. Especially in 2020.
Short Time or Long Time should be the only choice you make. That will ensure that you have a Good Time and are not raked over the coals for your resources.
We are just punters to bar girls and it is no good trying to fight that reality. We should treat them kindly, give them the amount we’ve negotiated and then wave them goodbye when our trysts are over. With any luck, we will live to fight another day – and avoid the sadness of a broken heart.