The Unconventional Adventures Of A Straight Woman in Bangkok (Part 2)

I listen to my male counterparts sharing their epic love experiences in Thailand and how they were chick magnets, by simply being foreign. I never understood their odd fixation and obsession with Thailand until I actually put on my big girl pants and took a walk in their shoes.

I spent a couple of nights in Bangkok last year, doing what my male counterparts would do: look for a joint to pick up girls, have fun with them and bring them back to their hotel room for sex. It was pretty straightforward. The only difference is, my male friends did not need to put in much effort. They simply stood in a bar and girls came flocking. I, on the other hand, had to do an extensive search on the place beforehand and pay for the companionship. It sounds pretty depressing but if I were to go to a bar, I doubt any Thai males will approach a foreign girl like me. I mean, I can’t blame them: Thai women are amazing. And I couldn’t possibly compete, without trying too hard.

I was approached by a couple of friendly Australians at a bar during the trip but I politely declined. It doesn’t make sense to travel all the way to Thailand only to settle for non-local cuisine. On Tinder, I did speak to a couple of foreigners and local Thai guys but it was such a hassle. You need to negotiate a meet-up and there’s always a possibility of being catfished. And I was on a rather short trip so I did not have time to wine and dine.

I decided to pay a visit to Bangkok again, in hopes to get a better experience, after my rather mediocre first-time. I felt during my first time, I did not know what to expect so I made some shitty decisions. I spent close to 10,000 baht for two nights with the SAME guy who wasn’t the most fun companion. I ended up leaving Thailand with the worst hangover in my life. It was silly but definitely a good learning experience. I was too hopeful and naive so this time, I was determined to get the most out of my trip.

Before arriving, I sourced the web for any male escorts directory. There were plenty but of course, they were all dominated by non-Thai guys. There were one or two Thai guys but they were booked. Disappointed, I decided to pay the same strip joint a visit again. At this rate, I was simply too lazy to source for other locations. The strip joint was comfortable, the boys were cute and the past two experiences I had was rather pleasant.

I had some work to finish on the first night so I stayed in all day and spent some time in the gym (limbering up for the night) and had takeouts. I was torn on what to wear but realise it really doesn’t make any difference. I picked a pair of booty shorts, sneakers and a top – I left my math teacher get-up home. I even had my hair down. I walked in the strip joint and was greeted by the same manager. He held my hand and led me to a reserved table right at the front. I groaned internally as I wanted to remain discreet, sort of hanging out in the shadows, not that it matters, no one knows me.

I was the only foreign lady there, everyone else was either Thai or oriental. I felt out of place, like previous times. I hid behind my drink and prayed the dancers won’t do anything funky – they usually go up to ladies in the first row and do something wild like rubbing their crotch in their faces. I was hoping to be spared. The manager – or should I just call him for what he really is, ‘pimp’ – approached me and told me the boy I went home with the previous time, let’s call him L, was booked that night. And I told him straight up that I didn’t want to book L again.

The dances were different this time, and they had a segment where the audience could partake in. It wasn’t too boring and I feel it was worth the 500 baht. I saw familiar faces on the catwalk, there were a couple of new guys and the manager was trying to promote them but I said they were not really my type. This was not my first time to a strip club yet I was blushing during the raunchy bits of the dances. Remember the tall and tan guy I wanted to ‘off’ (learned this new term) during my maiden visit? Yes, the one that got away. Let’s call him S. He was there and he still had his number tag on – an indication he is not booked for the night. As I was eyeing S, L spotted me and hopped off the stage and sat next to me. He apologised and said he has a prior booking, I said I know and I want to book another boy anyway. He asked me which boy I wanted and I told him S’s number.

L gave me a quick nod and let the pimp know. I saw L left with two female ladies, almost old enough to be my mother (that would be me in 20 years time, ha). And before I know it S sat next to me and turns out he’s at least 5 years younger than me. It didn’t bother me though. This is not the time for morals. He was definitely not as affectionate as S who was all touchy. Then again, I had my arms crossed the entire time so I might have given the impression that I was not interested in PDA. We had a chat and I knew I wanted to ‘off’ him even before he sat next to me. I missed out on him the previous time and yes, you could say this is revenge? I told the manager decisively I wanted him for the night and S went off to change. His command of English was definitely better than L’s. He held my hand as we exit the strip joint and the waiters were cheering for him. I’m assuming he doesn’t get ‘off’ regularly?

I did my thorough homework. This boy, S, is apparently not very popular amongst customers, according to the forums. He is sort of living in the shadows of the other better-looking boys, which I have to disagree because he was the first boy who caught my eye. Maybe it is due to the fact that his facial features are rough around the edges and doesn’t really conform to the usual standards of ‘beauty’. I didn’t really mind though, he’s still fit.

We went to a bar with a live band and I noticed a number of other bar boys hanging out with their respective customers. At one point, all of them had their shirts off, flashing their perfect torsos. I asked S to join them but he shook his head and laughed. He knew the words to most of the song, which is a stark difference from L who didn’t know any English songs. I guess it’s the age thing – S was younger and more in sync with the top 40’s?

I told S I wanted to rave so he brought me to a club he frequents. The first thing I noticed when we walked in the club was the number of gays. He didn’t mention that it was a gay club! S was getting one too many stares because damn he had some lit moves. I sensed some gay vibes radiating from his aura, then again I might be imagining things. As long as he doesn’t mind being with a woman, what is there to complain? I understand most escorts are bisexual anyway, which is probably the best way to roll in their line of work.

He snapped me out of my daze and placed me in front of him, encouraging me to dance with him. And I did. It was nice this time, I knew he was in his element and I was just blissed out. All I wanted is to dance with someone who is equally into the music as me. S stopped me from having too many drinks, maybe because he didn’t want me to be too drunk to tip him, or maybe he prefers a sober bed-partner. Either way, it was good as I kept downing shots and god knows what else. In the club, we bumped into a couple of his friends and again, my gaydar was tingling. Is he gay? Or maybe it was the copious amount of alcohol I’ve ingested.

Back in my hotel room, he was polite and asked me if I wanted to do it. It kind of takes out the spontaneity of it but I did pay for an escort and this is pretty much their job description, right? I asked if he had protection and he said no. I said I didn’t have any either – I had the perception escorts had condoms on them at all times. I shrug nonchalantly and said, ‘Go to sleep then.’ He almost whimpered in disappointment. He stood up, got dressed in a jiffy and dragged me out to a 7-Eleven to purchase a pack. When it was over, we hung out for a bit before he dressed up and left. I should’ve asked him for LT (long time) instead of ST (short time) because honestly, I wanted more. Then again, is it really worth it to pay more for someone to warm my bed till morning? I love a good cuddle session but I also enjoy having the bed to myself. I know, I’m hopeless.

But lesson learned: always ask beforehand and be clear with what you want from the boy. I wanted a good time partying and fornicating and that’s exactly what I got. S was not much of a talker, but I assume he’s just introverted by nature. I enjoyed this experience more because I felt like I was more decisive and I was not as shy, I guess? I also did not get any hangover, which is rather surprising since my tolerance is shit. Just shows that S took care of me well. Would I ‘off’ S again and bring him out to party? Absolutely.

All in all, I learned quite a fair bit from my second sex trip to Bangkok. I learn that I should always call a spade, a spade. The boys are escorts, I am a sex tourist, the managers are pimps and lastly, always keep a pack of condoms in your hotel room.

P.S/ Thanks for all the great feedback and tips!

Aubrey, 26,

Math Teacher