My Story

Once upon a time, a scared newbie went to Thailand. I’m a 27 year-old Belgian guy and always had a love for Asian girls. I went alone.

On the second day I met a guy who showed me around Bangkok. We went to Soi Cowboy and then it all started.

Within 3 seconds of entering a bar, a bargirl comes to me. I barfine her.

She was wasted that night, so I wouldn’t fxxk her. She got crazy in my hotel room because I didn’t want to fxxk her. She kept pushing, but I said I don’t do drunk girls.

(After thinking about it, I didn’t fxxk her because I had Mr. nice guy issues, wanted to save her from that life, white prince on a horse complex) – Sadly, I can’t even save myself.

Then she went crazy, took a bottle and wanted to kill me, so I throw some money at her. I didn’t want to lose my life. She left.

The second day I went back to Soi Cowboy. She said sorry. I barfined her again (silly me).

I spent a couple of days with her and it was good.

Then I left for Pattaya for 10 days. She kept texting me, I love you, miss you, we all know the tricks. (Sadly at that moment I didn’t know).

The last couple of days on my vacation spend again some time with her and all was going good.

She was falling in love with me she said, and I too, a lot of people who say she’s a hooker but I know it was true. So I said will give you 10,000 baht to stop working in the bar.

She agreed more or less, I went back to Belgium, of course she wouldn’t stop working in the bar (10,000 was not enough, she needed 40,000 to cover expenses).

Than the mind games started, the subtle manipulation, delaying texts, no answering on calls, no answer on questions. I went crazy, because you know nothing. It went even so fxxk up that I started to play games back. After a while and thanks to a friend I started to realise how being manipulated I was. The thing is with those girls in general, they know everything in the book, you can never win, because they don’t care.

I read a lot of blogs, but never have I found a simple reason why do we fall for those bargirls besides the smile etc.

After a while I found the answer on this, because it’s a one-way street. We invest 100% so in the mind we’re saying damn, I really love her otherwise I wouldn’t do this. And then she’s pushing you away so you invest, more otherwise you lose money, effort, time.

I learned a lot on this trip, and Thailand can make or break you. Some people get it and some people don’t.

It’s true what a lot of blogs say, a relationship with a bargirl is difficult. And I think would never work on long-term. They are addicted to the hunt. Always some other guy.

We can learn one thing from those bargirls, abundance.

I have seen it, a lot of people who come here in Thailand  to find a dream girl in the bars. (like me).

But they don’t realize that the chances you find somebody who loves you, and wants to be with you not for the money alone, is slim.

I think one of the reasons a lot of people fall for Thai girls is because we all have problems, insecurities and for some reason in Thailand it goes way, a lot of attention from girls, were in Europe etc. is much difficult to attract beautiful ladies.

I realized I also have a lot of problems and I thought I could fix it to travel to get attention from girls. But in the end its not permanent, you have to work for everything in life.

Low self-esteem, fear, so even if I would like to have a Thai girl. It would never work because I would live for her and not for myself.

First I have to find myself, and fix my issues before  I even start considering to find a Thai girl. Because a lot of cultural difference and if you’re not clean with yourself you can lose everything there. It’s such an illusion and a lot of people get trapped.

I think if you know who you are, are happy with yourself, only then can a relationship with a Thai girl would work long-term. But it’s hard. The thing is, as a man you have to provide for almost everything. You get almost nothing in return if you don’t find a good girl.

A relationship with a Thai girl can work, but it’s difficult to find somebody in the bar scene.

So next year I will go back and try to find a good girl. No hookers.

From the heart.

Stick‘s thoughts:

I know it might sound like a shocking thing to say but have you thought that maybe, just maybe, you might find a nice lady closer to home? Irrespective of whether in Thailand or abroad, I find many Farang male : Thai female relationships are dysfunctional. In most cases, relationships between Western men and Thai women aren’t easy. That said, when you throw a hooker in to the mix the chances of success are even worse. Anyway, I wish you all the best in meeting a good lady.

The author can be contacted at : detourist@tutanota.com