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Tale of an Online Romance, Part 1

  • Written by Allen W
  • November 4th, 2019
  • 6 min read


I should give a little background about myself. I am from the USA, with a degree in engineering and some 25+ years experience in traveling to Asia for work. I have worked in some 10 Asian countries, staying from 3 – 5 weeks each time. Some years I spend 1/3 of the year in Asia. So, I’m not new to the culture, I can speak two different Asian languages, and understand well how things work (or don’t) here. Single, with my kids grown, graduated and on their own, I need only wait a few years to retire. But, as anyone who understands current corporate practices, retiring at 65 is not often done.

Far too often, people are laid off in their late 50s, early 60s, and by force must “retire early”. I have seen it happen far too often to my colleagues. As someone working in his early 60s, I’ve dodged that fate so far. But I am well aware I might not dodge it long enough.

My retirement consists of three things:  1 – personal savings. 2 – A pension from a private company. 3 – Social Security (a US government guaranteed annuity).

My problem is this: My private pension pays a fixed amount each year, based on my age at retirement. It hits maximum at age 65. The increase each year until then is quite steep. So too with Social Security. There is a substantial penalty for taking it early. These penalties are permanent.

My solution: The Asia Option. That is, IF I get laid off, I would then move to Asia, and live off the income from my personal savings. I would not touch the principal. This amount is quite enough for a nice lifestyle in Asia.  It would allow me to wait until 65 when my private pension is maximized. At that point I would likely live half the year in the USA, half in Asia.

But where?

China is very nice, I am really familiar with it, but it’s not as cheap now as in the early ’90s. Doable, but not with the lifestyle I would like. And where I could live nicely, I might not want to live!  :)

Thailand is well known for expat living. Vietnam is becoming more so. Why not consider one of those?

And that leads to part 1.

Part 1

I visited Thailand to meet a woman. We had met online, and in person, some 10 years ago.

She is not Thai, but from a neighbouring country, and we had met in person (and had sex) in that country.

Later, with the decline of the company that employed me, I stopped traveling, and we ceased to talk.

Some years later, we managed to make contact via an online app. She had a child, but was divorced from her Thai husband. She seemed reluctant to talk about her life, but did in fact often initiate conversation, and express how happy she was to talk with me. Eventually she let slip her secret. She was pregnant, by her ex-husband!

Apparently, after they divorced, a year or so later he came back to her. Sweet talk, let’s try again, and succeeded in getting not only into her panties, but also into her bank account. Where he promptly took out  a very substantial sum. Then, having thoroughly screwed her in bed and out, he left again, leaving her with a hole in her savings, and a bun in the oven.

She felt used, and soiled, and was happy to have a chance to see me, but worried that I couldn’t accept her situation. I was surprised, but not too much. I knew of a Chinese lady, who had a very similar thing happen to her. She met a Thai man (about 10 years younger than her), married him, and moved to Thailand. At some point he drained her savings, and promptly dumped her. I thought it was so odd that two women who I had known to be level-headed, and clear-minded, were taken like this. But at least the other lady was too old to be easily impregnated.

She met me at the airport, and took me to her house. It had two bedrooms upstairs, and one large room plus a small kitchen downstairs. Outside was a very small yard, with a car port. I was surprised, as this seemed to be quite a nice house, especially only 30 minutes from the airport. It’s on the east side of Bangkok, rather south-east of the airport.

Coming from the USA, I arrived about midnight, and took a shower on arrival, and she came in, we chatted, and ended up having sex, before she went to sleep in the other room with her two kids.

So far, so good. The next day, seemed ok but she seemed distant. The day after we went to Hua Hin, and stayed at a resort for a few days. The beach was rather narrow, to my surprise, but very long. The older child, a girl, took to me, and we went to the beach, swam in the pool. The lady was watching the other child, but had a helper along with her, a teen. This too, was a little surprising, but not too unexpected. It seems that whatever her business was, it yielded a nice middle-class to upper middle class lifestyle.

What was disturbing, was not that she slept in the other room with the kids. But that she never stopped by my room for sex before bed again. I tried not to press it, as I didn’t want to seem sex-crazed, even though of course I was! No matter what I did or tried, she got more and more distant daily. Eventually I reached the conclusion that “we” were not working.

Then, time to leave. I really didn’t know what to say. She drove me to the airport, and I said good bye.

That was the last time I heard from her. While I really am not sure what (if anything) I did wrong, I can accept that it wasn’t meant to be.

But I did get to see Bangkok again, after a long time being away. I have a decent understanding of prices, availability of western stuff, and how to get about, and such day to day things as living here for 2 – 3 years would need. I am “ok” with Thailand, but not sold on it as a place to live.

As she had a car, I didn’t get a good feel for how easy it would be to live without a car. I don’t prefer to drive on the “wrong side” of the road, but I can see why my Commonwealth cousins like that aspect! In fact I prefer not to drive at all. I got the idea that Hua Hin would in fact be doable. I knew better than to open up the LINE app, but did open WeChat, and got several “offers” to help me relax. I guess that is the Chinese influence.

So, I think I need another trip, more dedicated to exploring the things I need to find out. While I’ve never paid for sex before, I am thinking I should devote a few days to naughty boy things, just to get it out of my system. And of course to do a girl some 35  – 40 years younger than me…..

Which leads to part 2.

The author of this article can be contacted at : [email protected]