A Girl From Siem Reap
Me: I’m 35 years old, low middle class, fairly good-looking guy. Back in Europe I was doing quite well with women. I had a 10-year relationship that was finished and after that I had a few open relationships. All the girls that I was dating according to my friends were very beautiful.
My first trip to Asia was to Philippines backpacking. I was using Tinder back home so I give it a chance in Manila and that was something totally different. 50 matches a day. Ok 10% of them was ladyboys and another 10% hookers but all the rest was just perfect. I spent there 3 weeks traveling around. I slept with 4 girls during this time, all of them from Tinder and all free off charge. What was nice was that they did not want me to even pay for the drinks as they don’t want me to think that they were milking me. All of them were not younger than 30, some single with a very good jobs, some owners of a business with an old American husband. They were just looking for fun. So there was no talk about love and no drama. It was a perfect holiday.
8 months later I went for a holiday to Cambodia. Same story, I was looking for fun. It was a big disappointment when I checked my Tinder in Seam Reap as most of the girls were backpackers and this was not something that I was looking for.
I decided to hit the clubs, did my homework and I found a club outside Pub Street a place for locals. I went there with my friend who was traveling with me. We were the only 2 white guys in the whole club so all eyes on us! Bingo! This was what we needed. We had few drinks and start chatting with girls and soon we joined a group of them, sit and drinking together. My friend went dancing with a really nice girl and I stayed with her friend who was not bad but not my type. Anyway I took her to the dance floor and on my way back to the table I saw an amazing girl. She was just perfect. Small, dark skin, big brow eyes, nice boobs and great ass. She looked like a bad girl and this is, unfortunately, my type. I smiled to her she smiled to me so I went to talk to her. Nothing special just normal bla bla bla but I could see that she fancied me. Long story short I spent the night with her and another day and another. I spent all my holiday with her. She was working in a beauty salon, after work we hung out together. Playing video games, going restaurants, sight-seeing.
This time I was paying for everything sometimes even for a drinks for her friends. I’m not a cheap Charlie, I’m more like a 2 week millionaire. So I did not have problem with it. After 2 weeks of fun it was time to go back home I felt a bit sad but I was not in love with her.
She (I will call her A.)
I was 27 so the age difference was not big. She had a 3-year-old son with a German guy (54-year-old army guy) he lived in Thailand/Cambodia.
First red flag right? She told me that she used to live in Germany with him but he drank a lot and cheated on her with a bar girl in Pattaya. So they split. Because her son had a German passport she had a visa and soon she moved to live with her son in Germany.
I was living in Germany too (I’m not German) so when she moved to Europe we started seeing each other again. My plan was to see her just for fun as I did not trust her. During our time together I saw her texting with many guys from different parts of the world. Another red flag, right?
In the beginning it was working very well. I visited her every 2 weeks for 3-4 days as I lived 500 km from her place. She got a flat for free from the government and around 350 euro plus 350 from the father of the kid and a gindergeld (195 euro). It was enough for her to have a normal life. She was going to school to learn German every day (for free) and the kid went to a nursery (for free). She was doing well at her new path in life.
I started to see her more and more staying at her place, traveling a bit together. I just paid for food when we went to shop or a restaurants plus taxi, train tickets. Stuff like that, nothing big.
After a few months I lost my job and the company that I was working for had to close as they had not made any profit. I found a new job in the town were she was living as this was my idea as by this time I already started to love her. I wanted to see her on regular basics to check if this can work long term. She said ok and she even let me stay at her place for free.
When we lived together I was just paying for gas and food. I was doing really good with her son, he liked me a lot and I liked him. She said to me many times I’m amazing with her kid and this is the most important thing for her. It was the best time of my life. We were like family and I needed it.
- Her ex. He was older than her mother and from what she told me he spent a lot of money on her family. He bought them land and a house plus gave them lots of money. I asked her why she is with me as I’m not rich and I cannot give her what he did. She said the money was not important for her as now she had support from the German government and she is safe. I believed her as I was giving her something else: Love, great sex, I took care of her son and made her happy.
- Her ex could not know about me as he was still helping her family and if he knew that she had somebody he would stop. She told me they are not together anymore but he would be jealous and after some time she would tell him about us but just not now. I was ok with it as I was not sure about her yet and I did not wanna push her to burn that bridge.
- She was talking on her phone with some guys from countries like Belgium, France, Canada, UK. She told me they are just friends and sometimes she even let me to talk with some of them too.
- Her friends. All girls with older farang man who supported them from abroad or lived together in Europe / Cambodia. All she talked with them about was money (I learned a bit of Khmer). Same with her family mother and aunt, all the talk was about money. From the way she was talking with me and them I could see that Khmer man are nothing to them and she only respects women. She was telling me how they play the older guys and took money from them. It was a BIG red flag I know but I was already in love with her so I was stupid.
- Money. From the beginning, from time to time she would ask me for some money and I always said no.
It was a never-ending story and even after few months she tried to make me give her some for her mom or motorbike for her brother etc.
I never did. It was my strategy with her to not give her any cash so I could see if she was for real. When I asked her why she did this she just said it was a joke. I lived at her flat basically for free and from time to time she bought me small gifts. So I felt that this was not a big issue.
It was a Sunday morning and I was playing with her son. She came to the room and told me that I need to move out as her ex is coming back to Germany for an operation and he will stay with her. She said that she loves me but he helps her family and this is what she needs to do as it’s her job to take care of her mom and grand mom. She give me 4 weeks to find a new place to stay which was a nice thing for her to do. During the first week she cried a lot and she kept saying to me that she still loved me. But something was wrong… I had a feeling she was not being honest with me. So I checked her phone and I was right. Her ex was not coming but for last month she had been chatting with some German guy. I asked her about it and we had big fight. She told me he is 48, single with a good job and he will take care of her.
I saw him on a picture and he was fat and not so handsome. He looked like it would be really hard for him to get a woman.
After the fight we had sex (as always after fights we had amazing sex) and she told me I can stay few more weeks with her but she will start seeing him. I had no move at this time. I did not wanna be with her after what she did but I had to give 4 weeks notice at my work and I had to live somewhere until this time. Yes, it was nice from her to let me stay at her place, I know. She still says that she loves me but she needs to take care of her family and Olaf already spent a lot of money on her.
He bought her a 400 Euro bag on a second date and some other stuff so she was sure that he would support her. She said to me that we can be lovers as she really loves me and the sex with me is amazing (many girls told me that before) I was ok with it as sex with her was great and I still loved her.
It was crazy. She went on dates with him but when she came back home she had sex with me. After 4 weeks I moved to a different town.
I still came to see her once a week. When she was on the phone with him I was in another room waiting for her to finish talking.
We had sex all the time and she was telling me about this guy and how stupid he is to not know about us. She told me he had a small dick and she never came with him.
She said he is boring and when they were together on dates many times she send me pictures from a date and text that it should be me with her. Crazy, right?
One time I came to visit her for a weekend. She asked me if I could lend her 200 Euro for her mom to go to hospital. I said no and that she should ask her boyfriend about it.
And she did. Next morning he came by in his car just to give her money and I was waiting for her at the train station as we were going for her friend’s birthday.
I saw him bringing her to a train station with his car, get a kiss on the cheek and she went with me to a party. Money of course was not for her mom, instead she spent it shopping.
After she told my that she was lying about her mom in hospital, I just smiled and said, I know, I’m not stupid like him.
I told her that I start seeing other girls and she went super angry. She start playing with my head using push and pull method.
I played with her too telling her I love her and make drama I even told her I will give her money just to check what she will do.
It started to become a very toxic relationship as she manipulated me and I did the same to her. We fought a lot. Being lovers did not work out.
I still loved her and I could not control it. Last day she became very cold and rude to me. She talked some bullshit about me being her toy boy.
I could not take it anymore and as I had the phone number of her new man so I sent him WhatsApp screenshots with a date showing my conversations with her. I told him all the story and I had strong evidence to back it up. I knew things about him I should not know and I told him about it.
When she found out about it she sent me very nasty messages and after that she blocked my number. Week after that I was in the city where she lives.
To finish, I saw her with him together like nothing had happened. She told him some story and somehow he believed her.
Well, he will learn his lesson sooner or later. She told me many times she does not love him and I know that she already has 2 more guys on her radar.
When we were lovers she told me a lot of crazy stories how she or her friends play men. I learned a lot from her.
Am I an asshole?
Some of you might think that I’m not better than her. Yes, I lied to her too. I manipulated her and I played with her emotions.
I used her trust to learn about the game these girls are playing and in the end I used it against her.
I did all these things after I found out she was cheating on me. Before that I was a perfect man.
She told me she loved me and she said that when we no longer together she will make a tattoo of my name in the Khmer language.
I really loved her and she hurt me like nobody before. I did not care about this guy. I did not like him.
I was a better man than him and my ego was hurt. So I slept with her when they were together to make myself feel better.
It’s shallow, I know. But it helped me and I don’t like it that he was fucking her because he was stupid to give her money.
Now when she does not talk with me anymore I feel free she was like a drug to me. So I had to cut her loose.
And this was the best way to do it. I was sure she would not forgive me.
In the beginning I was aware with who I’m dealing with and I kept my guard up.
I don’t even know when it happened that I started loving her and it was my mistake but I could not control it.
It’s a dangerous game. I did not lose any money just my pride and broken heart.
The new guy fell for her very fast and he will pay the price. Maybe she will stay with him as long as he will spend money on her.
Or she will find someone better. I wouldn’t like to be in his skin as he is 48 and wasting time and money with a girl who does not love him.
At least he is having great sex and maybe he is fine with that.
She will be fine, she knows what she is doing and she can do this things for the next 8 years, make money and go back home.
She still has the father of her child who sends the money plus the new guy. 2 other guys are waiting for their turn and one of them already took her to France for a few days.
I really don’t know how this girls are able to play us so easy are we so stupid or are they so smart?
Walk away and don’t look back. This is not the sort of person you want to be in a relationship with.
The author can be contacted at : [email protected]