Readers' Submissions

What’s The Problem



Having lived in Thailand for the past 12 years I have read on this site and others about the do’s and don’ts for travelers and expats alike and have enjoyed the exploits of both and never really felt the need to add to the confusion !! with my own thoughts but after reading about the poor guy asking for advice over a special lady and some of the responses I feel it is time to chip in.

First, I should explain that I do NOT live in the metropolis or Pattaya although my first 2 years was spent in Bangkok and I enjoyed it to a point and in fact set a small factory up in the engineering sector (nowhere near as successful as “Andrew” and his foundry) but I have and do enjoy my life because of the proceeds from the said factory.

After a few years WE moved down to Cha Am and the clue is in the we. I met my wife when I first set up the factory as I employed her to take care of my HR problems and oversee the accounting which I realized at the time should have been two jobs but after her assurances she could do both so I took the gamble and after a few months it was pretty obvious it was the right decision and after a few years and continually changing legislation in Thai labour and company laws she is now the MD. We got married 3 years after I set up the factory and I have to report that our life together is still perfect and we live on equal terms but at the start all the danger signs that get sent to Stick’s inbox every week was at the forefront of my mind and if I had followed all the rules of “don’t trust them” and “you will be sorry” I would have folded and gone back to England within a year. We now employ between 110-125 Thais and I can’t be more accurate as unfortunately they lack loyalty in the work place.

I have to say the guy with the nice girlfriend has probably had a great time in Thailand with a girl that could be and probably is a beautiful caring lady but because of the poison that gets printed about ladies in this country he will probably never see her again. I can hear the keyboards clicking from all the guys that have been stitched up in the past ready to tell me that I am a novice when it comes to Thai women and have no clue what they are capable of. I can tell you that I did spend time around the bars in the early days and on a few occasions got close to some of the ladies that frequent them but what I seem to see that so many others don’t is that the bar is their office or factory and they are doing a job that gets a much higher pay packet for their families than working in a rice field and indeed my own factory.

The guy giving a 30,000 THB gift to a lady that made his holiday is probably money he could afford to give and somebody else complaining that he is ruining everybody else’s holiday is utter tosh. In my opinion the only people ruining the ladies here are the guys that try to exploit them and actually treat them like rubbish. Can you wonder why the girls are out to get you? I have friends here that keep telling me the girls are asking for too much money and the service is getting poorer !!! most of these guys are in their 50’s some in their 60’s and most have fat beer belly’s which doesn’t really present to the ladies “what catch he is”. I left Bangkok happily because I couldn’t understand the expat philosophy of the same thing every night with the same people and the only way to escape it was to leave and move away from that type of existence completely.

There is now a sadness about a lot of the older expats because many sold up everything in their home countries at pension age and particularly the Brits are now struggling as when came out here the pound was 72 – 76 baht and this week it’s trading at just under 40 baht. That is a terrible situation to be in because there is no going back to the cost of living in the UK and starting again at 70+ years old. I have over the last year been setting a line of support for some of the old guys who are in real trouble because most are completely on their own and frankly the embassy is of little use to them. The Brit Embassy will give you a document of 25 pages telling what they can’t do and a paper of 5 lines telling what they can do.

Anyway I have digressed too much as the real story is with the guy and his 30k girlfriend and what I say to you is that there are Thousands of hurt and ripped off guys that will tell you that you are a fool (and worse) but I wonder how many girls have been damaged by Western men behaving like animals in Thailand? If you feel that you got value for money and that she fulfilled all of your desires and wishes and more importantly it left you with a great feeling of satisfaction that you helped her then well done and don’t listen to all the rubbish cloaked as advice.

Lastly I should add that as a younger man I visited numerous houses of so-called ill repute across the globe and back in those days paid much more than 3,000 baht for what could only be described as very sub standard service but in those days I usually had beer goggles on and in a way I got what I deserved and I should also report that a great friend of mine recently got drugged and woke up in a room with no cash or credit cards and even his passport had gone and it was in………………..Manila.

Take care.

The author can be contacted at :[email protected]