A Bangkok Story
There is a story that could only happen in Thailand. It took place circa 2001.
I was sleeping (alone) in my apartment one night when about 1 AM there was a knock on my bedroom door. It wasn’t a clean knock, more of a shuffle sound against the door. My door had no spy hole so I very cautiously opened the door as far as the chain would allow. Standing outside in the corridor was a taxi driver with a girl draped over his arms. Her feet were hanging down one side and her head down the other. She was out for the count. The guy said ‘lady’. Well, she certainly wasn’t my lady! He must have got the wrong room. But it didn’t seem the time to argue about room numbers as he was clearly collapsing under the weight. So I opened the door and he walked in, dropping her on my bed. There was a smell of sick on her top. And then he left, presumably to clean out his taxi. I could not speak Thai and he could not speak English, so I had no explanation forthcoming. How she wound up at my place, I had no idea.
The smell of sick was beginning to pervade the bedroom. Her top (T-shirt) had to come off. It’s not easy to pull a T-shirt over the head of a person lying prone on a bed, and not being too cooperative, but I achieved it. I flung it in the bathtub, ran some water for it to soak and returned to my visitor. She was wearing a bra, with as far as I could tell, not much inside. And a mini skirt. And high heel shoes. I removed her shoes. I thought the best solution was to leave her where she was, on the top of the bed, to sleep it off. But I was concerned about her reaction in the morning, waking up virtually topless in a strange bed with an even stranger farang! Events of the night were to quell those fears.
I got back into bed. At some time in the night she called out ‘toilet, toilet’ in the darkness (in English, so she must have been at least a bit aware of her circumstances, I was talking to her the whole time I was helping her, in the hope that she might know what was happening and that she was in no danger). I put on the light. She was still in no fit state to make it to the bathroom by herself. Fearing having to pay for a wet mattress, I put her arms around my neck and half dragged her to the toilet. This is where it really got interesting. When we got to the loo, I turned her round so that she could sit down, but she was still wearing her skirt. I had seen a zip at the back, so I pulled it down and her skirt fell to the floor, revealing a G-string. She was still standing up, with her arms around my neck and her head against my chest. I sat her down on the seat and pulled her G-string down and over her knees. She did what she needed to do, and I gave her private parts a squirt with the washer between her knees, hoping I was hitting the right spot, then dabbed it dry with toilet paper. (Was this really happening?). But then I had the problem of returning the G-string and skirt, and frankly it proved just impossible. I am not a young guy and her weight and the restricted place in the bathroom made maneuvers very difficult. So I left her G-string and skirt on the floor and had dragged her (now only wearing a bra), back to bed. She voluntarily half-climbed into bed this time. And we slept. Honestly. Me and this not unattractive 90% naked Thai lady. I am after all, a gentleman.
I can’t remember who work up first. But I remember she was surprisingly as bright as a button. She went to the bathroom and came out about 20 minutes later, having showered and dressed. Except that her T-Shirt was still wet, so she took one of mine that was hanging on a washing line to dry, over the bath. She didn’t ask if she could have it, but it didn’t matter. It appears that she could pretty much remember all the events of the night. Her name was Beaw, she was 23 and she had been partying at Ambassador Beer Garden in Soi 11 and got terribly drunk. Someone must have got her a taxi. But neither of us could work out how he had ended up at my apartment building, and my room! But I’m glad he did. She needed help and not from some drunken lecher who might take advantage of her extremely vulnerable situation. Her only problem was that she was missing her handbag, so she had no money to get home. I gave her a 500 baht note which she promised to return, but I never saw her again, despite looking for her at the beer garden. (Not for the 500 baht, it would be nice to have seen her again under different circumstances).
I probably didn’t recognize her with her clothes on!