Red Pill Moment
I was interested in reading the “No more Mr. Nice Guy in Thailand” submission as I am in what he referred to as recovery as well, from a girl I met originally in November, 2014. She had fairly low self-esteem, described herself as old and ugly, which she is neither. Now she regards herself as akin to Kim Kardashian, thanks to endless selfies on Facebook and the usual comments from customers.
Everything went fine for a year until April, 2016, when I received the “please send some money so I can go home” message. I explained I could not because I was taking early retirement from work, London was expensive and my pension would not stretch to what I presume was the standard 30,000 baht per month – I realised and accepted she would see other guys if this was not forthcoming. Last month I received a schedule showing 7,000 baht salary and outgoings of 28,500 baht including 6,000 per month I know is already paid for on a car!
This was met with the silent treatment. Went back in October, 2016, took her to Bangkok etc. Three weeks after telling me she would pay off her debts, move back to Isaan and wait for me, she sends photos of herself with an Aussie guy for him to post on Facebook and Instagram. On the same day, a trip to Phi Phi island and contacts a Thai girl I know in Denmark on Facebook to give her the third degree and play the jealous girlfriend routine. I also received abusive messages from the other guy. At this point I tried to finish what is in no way a “relationship” but stupidly backed off with the tears from her etc.
Went back in March, 2017, took her from Phuket to Chiang Mai. There had been a German guy sending her money starting at 10,000 baht a month which she dismissed as nothing, despite it possibly being all he could afford, but she told me she had finished with him to be with me and he “cried like a baby” which of course was a red flag and an indication of how she talked about people behind their back! She quit her job end in July, 2017, went home whereupon a £12,000 Mitsubishi car appeared and improvements to her mother’s house, but of course I was told there was no sponsor, the car came from proceeds of a land sale (and strangely popped up again a year later under payments out)! She later admitted someone was paying her but she still had to work, selling glasses which did not work out.
The wheels obviously came off the bus as she went back to work, seeing an American in Pattaya in December and setting up an Instagram account with pictures of him and her, which she soon deleted. Went back March, 2018, to Phuket and she’s with the German guy again!
The last six months have been a mixture of passive / aggressive behavior which I have seen with other bargirls and last month she’s “in a relationship” with another Aussie who’s madly in love with her after knowing her 6 weeks. She asked me to marry her the day after he went home.
I finally had the “what the fxxx were you thinking” moment last month – I don’t want to move to Isaan, go to bed at 8:30 PM, build a house for her I don’t own but each to their own….assume her debts, problems with her family and kids. Any of my problems i.e. selling my house, father with cancer have been ignored because of course this does not have anything to do with money for her! Trying to end it with here was met with the usual “what you do for me how you help me?” routine never mind the money, the trips around Thailand etc.
The sad thing to admit is that I did consider chucking everything in and giving up everything here before the “red pill moment”. This girl has bugger all loyalty to anyone but herself and money, lies and manipulates people and forgets her own lies! I transferred characteristics on to her she does not possess, what I believe psychiatrists call “transference” along with her low self-esteem, guilt trips and problems of her own making, to marry someone who would never leave Thailand or sacrifice anything for me.
Yes, not being a nice guy does not mean being an asshole and treating them badly, but in the night scene you have to look after yourself because you are the only one you can trust to look after your own well being. With social media you never know how many guys are in the background, who she is texting when you are on the beach etc. Every Thai girl I ever spoke to has dismissed their husband as “he drink he gamble he go with other lady” and you have become the bad guy for not saving them from the horrors of the bar scene and supporting their family, not the dead beat husband who buggered off knowing there was no child support agents on the case. Makes me wonder whether there was ever a case of a moderately wealthy Thai guy with a smattering of English supporting an English hooker 2 kids and her parents of the same age as him in a grim part of England?
Meanwhile my friend has returned to England for a liver transplant and his Thai girlfriend sold her jewellry for his hospital stay and slept on the floor next to his bed, however not a bar girl! Anyhow learn the lesson, forget the experience, pay them treat them well and move on!
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