Readers' Submissions

Wonderful?

If it is so wonderful as most sexpats say – and I have stood with them often in the declaration of how Thailand was nearly 20 years ago, then the Philippines and sometimes think the same in a different way in Vietnam where I am visiting now…. that is – if it is so wonderful, why are so many expats having dramas with each other?

It reminds me of junior high school, so very long ago for me and others who sometimes frequent Stickman’s site. Maybe the Indians were right to ban Viagra from certain areas in their country.

Not sure why, but tantrums and screaming are not unknown in South-East Asia amongst 60+-year-old foreigners trying to enjoy young beauties and compete with others going through the various stages of maturing ugliness.

Maybe the fact that we are not as rich as we had hoped to be or are sometimes downright poor and living on vapors. But, regardless of money, there just seems to be a prevailing emotional immaturity that is just plain mean-spirited complete with back-stabbing and searching for a chance at a guy’s girl (or rental).

I really can’t say but I like to be away from the herds these days and fully understand why Chiang Mai Kelly keeps out of the circus and enjoys his family life.

Speaking of writers from this site I enjoyed, along with aforementioned Kelly there were many and I recall dining with a bunch at the Old Dutch on Cowboy maybe a decade back before Stickman got lean.  Today I rarely visit with any as I sold my Pattaya condos to the Chinese and moved to the Philippines.  There, I visit with the prolific and smart Korski occasionally as now he studies Samar in great depth as only he can do.  We get along well.  Every couple of years, I hear from or email Dana and he still can turn a word in a way to make you laugh. Mega, I have not seen in a year or two, but he gets around.

And Stickman who took me on tours of most of Bangkok on foot when I had more man-made joints than I do now is still in touch.

Some folks we still know, but I have met many very angry men, none of the above though. Many so angry they would think the fact they are nearly broke or trusted the wrong hooker, that other guys around them are somehow to blame? Like children, the crazy expat puts another down thinking he is lifting himself up.

Or maybe it is just a self-assessment and not liking what they see?

Another could be man facing the facts of aging, a painful enough matter in and of itself especially if one has damaged themself through drink and drugs and bad business decisions.

The dramas are reason enough for many of us to sort of merge into whatever area we are with women and ignore the bar life if you have spent enough nights in those places. It sure seems close to that point for me.

I did Patong Beach for 2 years down in Phuket, although the Nana (would arrive in Bangkok’s Don Meuang then hang in Nana a few days) where I met Dana and Stick, then Pattaya for 8 years. 4 years or so back I moved to Angeles City and travel a bit from there. But I am shying away from sexpats more and more as it seems to lead to emotional stuff I thought was gone before high school.

Good luck, Stick, what ever you do.  We have had some fun years and I learned spellchecker :)

Stick’s thoughts:

In roughly 10,000 reader’s submissions this might be the first time someone has ever touched on the omnipresent issue of emotional immaturity in expat retirees.  It’s a big issue and many are, just as you say, emotionally immature.  You often hear comments like, “I’d cross the road to avoid that guy” or “I would never hang out with people like that at home” but you’ve nailed it.  It’s like some of these guys never grew up.

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