Stickman Readers' Submissions August 4th, 2017

Cebu Philippines Trip Report – Day 6.5 – 8

It is Sunday afternoon, day 6.5, and I had just placed Ms. Vixen in a taxi. I was a little sorrowful to see her leave but looking around at the throngs of Cebuanas walking around lifted my spirits.

I felt quite refreshed since Ms. Vixen and I had a relatively slow and early Saturday night. Backtrack to Saturday night: We started off with a nice all-you-can-eat seafood dinner buffet at Isla Sugbu Seafood City located in the Grand Convention Cebu. Grab your basket, walk around and select the live seafood, and give it to the Chef. It’s not the best seafood dinner I’ve consumed but it was delicious and quenched my appetite for seafood. All in including a few rounds of drinks, $36. Well worth the visit. I didn’t exactly know where I wanted to go next other than staying away from Mango and not be seen by Ms. Timeout 1 or Ms. Cute Waitress from day 2. Ms. Vixen suggested a KTV/bikini bar not far from my hotel. Off we go, stayed about an hour, I wasn’t impressed and neither was she. Back to the hotel room by 11.

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Back to present. Feeling refreshed this fine Sunday afternoon, off I go walking for a few hours, stop by Cebu Holiday Spa, and then return to my hotel to relax by the pool and catch-up on emails, news, and answer the messages from Ms. Time Out 1. I send her a few messages but no reply. She answers my call in a hushed voice and says she’s at work and come to Time Out. If they are caught using their phone at work they get fined. Good system I thought.

I continue checking my emails for 30 minutes then go grab a shower and head to Time Out. I receive a lukewarm welcome from Ms. Time Out 1 who was working the downstairs bar. She was too busy attending to other customers for us to talk so I go upstairs to play some pool. The place was almost empty and I had the pool table to myself. Not being one to enjoy playing pool by myself, I asked one of the servers if she wanted to play a few games. Ms. Time Out 2 and I played a few games, the usual chatter of getting to know a little about each other. She was 27, no kids, married but in the process of getting an annulment (divorce is not an option in PI), and lived with her parents and 5 siblings. She had completed 2 years of college and hoped to go back and finish her nursing degree.

A few more customers had made their way upstairs by now and my pool-playing partner needed to attend to them. I move back downstairs, order another SML and a pulled pork sandwiched. I finally get a chance to talk with Ms. Time Out 1 and she asked me the obvious question. Why hadn’t I answered her messages the previous day. I fall back on the little white lie that most of us have used before. My phone ran out of charge not long after I left her bar Friday night. She gives me that look of disbelief and asks me what happened all day Saturday. I tell another little white lie to save face just like the Thais. I rented a boat with 2 guys I met Friday night and we went fishing. I wasn’t sure where we went but it must have been far enough out that I didn’t have a cell signal. We didn’t return until late and I was very exhausted. Laid down on the bed, fell asleep and didn’t wakeup until early Sunday morning. Whether she totally believed me or not I am not sure. She wasn’t interested in going anywhere after she finished work. She claimed to have some family stuff to do early in the morning.

My sandwiched arrived and was devoured within minutes. I had another beer and then bid farewell but before I departed, I gave Ms. Time Out 1 a small gift bag containing a chocolate bar and the nice smelling hand sanitizer. I tell you guys, this little gesture really works wonders. She gave me a big hug and said she wanted to see me tomorrow night after her work.

I leave and head back toward Mango Square area. The beer bars are almost bare and I stopped by to say hi to Ms. Semifinal (aka Brown Eyes) and Ms. Cute Waitress. I didn’t stop for a beer…just said hello and chatted for a few minutes. I wanted to go to All Star Sports Bar that I had read some good reviews about. It’s down the street toward and opposite the bikini bars.

All Star is one of the larger sports bars in Cebu City if not the largest and has a decent layout. Not too many people on this night, which seemed to be standard all around for Sunday night. I reach the bar and order my beer. Sitting next to me is an expat and next to him is his local girlfriend I assume from the conversation they were having. I could tell instantly by his accent he was from the southern parts of the US and probably in his mid-30’s. They are having a disagreement of some sort and after a few minutes things go quiet between the two. Now that my entertainment had gone quiet, I focus my attention on the room looking for someone to have a meaningful conversation.

It didn’t take long to spot the lonely long-legged Cebuana playing pool by herself. She’s quite tall for a Filipina at about 5’6” and wearing a nice casual dress that stopped right above her knees. I walk over, introduce myself, and challenged her to a game. She was a good pool player and only left me with 5 balls on the table when she sank the 8-ball. I told her I played better if there was a wager on the game.

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Her: What do you want to wager?
Me: For underwear.
Her: What?
Me: If I win, I get your underwear. If you win, I get your underwear.
Her: Why do you get my underwear if I win?
Me: Because I am not wearing any I said with laugh.
Her: (Without skipping a beat) Neither am I.

We both had a very good laugh and settled on a beer as the wager. Side note: I do wear underwear.

We continue playing a few more games spitting about 50/50. She’s 32, married to a Brit but she’s not wearing a ring, he’s out with his buds drinking but will come see her later. All the naughty thoughts I had about her for later that night went flying out the window; the thoughts were still there but the reality disappeared. I don’t mess around with married or other guy’s girlfriends. By now I had resigned any hope for bedroom gymnastics for the night. Ms. Pool Shark was good company and pleasant to talk so I was going to continue to play pool until her husband arrived.

It wasn’t long and then someone comes up behind me and places their hands over my eyes. Guess who, she asked. Not wanting to guess a wrong name and I am sure I would have, I replied with, My date for the night? I turned around and it was Ms. Viking. She was there with 2 of her workmates from Viking. They had gotten off work early for lack of customers. Ms. Viking and Ms. Pool Shark knew each other thus Ms. Viking knew I wasn’t there with a date.

I order a round for my new guests and we all take a seat at a table. I’m loving it. Me, 2 lovely ladies, and 2 average ladies shooting the bull, innocently flirting, and gossiping. They mostly gossip while I listen intently. It’s a colorful conversation especially when they talk about some of their co-workers.

In comes one of the biggest dudes I have seen in a while. At least 6’3” and 230 lbs of steroid…only guessing. He has a pissed off look on his face and comes straight for our table. He leans down and gives Ms. Pool Shark a kiss. She introduces her husband. Thank God. I was in no shape to run out the door. I thought it may have been a pissed off boyfriend of one of Ms. Viking’s friends. Or worse yet, Ms. Viking’s boyfriend that she claimed she doesn’t have.

Mr. and Mrs. Steroid depart not long after and Ms. Viking’s sidekicks want to go to the discos. I’m not at all interested to go listen to thump thump thump unless it’s my headboard banging the wall. The 2 girls leave and so do Ms. Viking and I. The girls went to listen to their thump thump thump and the Ms. and I went to make our own music.

Ms. Viking and I enjoy the breakfast buffet and then she’s off to school while I turn left out of the hotel and head to IT Park. I settle into a table at Gusto Café inside of Calyx Center that is a modern 20+ floor business/condo building. I check emails, read the latest on the embarrassing US political tide I refer to as Trump’s Chumps, and eye surf the crowd. I would estimate that less than 10% of the female customers were of the femme fatale variety and half of those ordered to go. The other half were obviously with business associates and it didn’t leave an opportunity for an approach.

I send Ms. Davao a message. Remember her from Starbucks the previous week and I cancelled dinner because she was very late. She joined me about 30 minutes later for her lunch break looking very nice in her business attire of tight blouse and skirt. She profusely apologized for the other night and said she would like to take me out for dinner. We set a dinner date for the following evening at The Social located on the 4th Floor of the Terraces in Ayala Center. She finished the lunch she had brought with her from home and we part ways.

As I exited the building, I noticed some very dark clouds start to roll in from the West. I usually go for my long walk at this time but thought better of it and decided to head back to the hotel. I almost make it before the clouds open up and it starts pouring down. I duck into a Real Estate sales office hoping the rain would ease up soon just enough for me to scamper the remaining 200m or so to the hotel.

I was greeted by a rather plump receptionist who offered me some paper towels so I could at least dry my head, arms, and hands. I was browsing through some brochures while waiting for the rain to subside. I start asking the receptionist some questions about some of their condo developments. She answered as best she could but told me the office manager should be returning in a few minutes from lunch and she could answer all my questions. I’m gazing out the window looking at the traffic crawl by and the crowd of people walking under their umbrellas trying to stay dry as possible when a car stops at the curb and out gets what I can only describe as a model’s body in a form-fitting blouse and a skirt that stops half way down her upper thighs. I couldn’t see her face because she opened her umbrella even for the 20 ft walk from the curb to the office. She scampers in without even noticing me and disappears behind a partition. She re-appears some 5 minutes later after the receptionist summons her for me.

If only the face had matched the rest of her body, she would have been a 10+. I would guess 5’8” without the heels on and around 55 kg. She was obviously of mixed ethnicity and was probably only a 5 in the beauty department.

We were introduced, she answered my questions, and we setup an appointment for the following afternoon to go view some model condos. I hadn’t planned to do any real estate market research this trip but why not I thought.

The rain was still pouring down and Ms. Real Estate offered me an umbrella as long as I promised to return it the next day. Thanks! I am out the door and back in my room in a few minutes. The miserable weather outside continued and I was not in the mood to go puddle jumping. I order in for a mid-afternoon light snack and schedule an in-room message (a little expensive for Cebu, $10) for 5pm. Both were mediocre at best but at least the massage was relaxing enough I dozed off half way through. I tip the masseuse and lay back down to complete the nap I started.

My stomach awakens me with rumblings, not of the hungry type but of an explosion is brewing type. I’ve had food poison several times before while working in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Africa and it is difficult to tell at the early stages of an upset stomach if it is food poising or just something I ate that doesn’t agree with me. The first sign that it is food poisoning is having the feeling you are about to re-taste what it was that made you sick in the first place. I never did get that feeling but did spend the rest of the night in my room making a few visits to the toilet to relief myself of the foreign substance.

I wake up early around 7am feeling full of energy. I go for my walk and witness some of the previous day’s damage from the rain. Some streets were still flooded, saw a few cars that was still underwater, and some damage to store fronts. I return around 10am and go to Ayala Center to make my rounds. Visited Bo’s café for some caffeine and water, stopped to say hello to Ms. Cologne, and ran into Ms. Etouffee from Murray’s New Orleans who was on her way to work. We spoke for a few minutes and I suggested we meet this week for a drink one night after she gets off of work. She suggested that night but I remembered I already had plans to meet Ms. Davao at The Social around 7pm. I countered with tomorrow night would be better because I wasn’t feeling too well from the previous night’s battle of an upset stomach. She agreed, date set.

Well, The Social is directly across from Murray’s and Ms. Etouffee could easily spot me while having dinner with Ms. Davao. Note to self: I need to change dinner locations with Ms. Davao. I do a little research and find a place with good reviews not far from her work using that as an excuse to change locations. We agree to meet at Bucket Shrimps.

I go back to my hotel to take a shower and get ready for my afternoon appointment of condo viewing with Ms. Real Estate. I arrive exactly at 2pm and she is waiting for me to arrive. We jump in the back seat of the company van and she tells the driver where we are going; to Mactan Island she says.

Mactan Island is where the International Airport is located so I settle back for the 45-minute drive, so I thought. It took more like 1.5 hours because the airport is on the side of island nearest to Cebu City and the condo development was on the far side. Infrastructure is really in need of a major overhaul. We are driving through streets barely large enough for one car, dodging kids and animals. Some of the neighborhoods were quite poor even for PI standards. I wouldn’t buy condo at this location just because of the drive. I am told there are some major plans in place to make the far side of the island easily accessible but I suspect that is years to come.

Anyway, this gave me a chance to get to know Ms. Real Estate a little better. She was 29, single, no kids, lives with her mother and sister, working real estate for 2 years, college educated, part-time bikini model, and half Filipino and half Dutch (that’s where she gets her height). She showed me some pictures of her photo shoots….WOW.

The condos were of good quality especially for PI standards but not quite European or US standards. Location was decent with the beach being only about a 5-minute walk away. Two big deal-killers for me; the drive to get there and the almost western price that came along with the almost western standards.

We continue to talk on the drive back with her asking most of the questions this time. She seemed particularly interested in my holiday thus far and what I had been doing. I mentioned some things and didn’t mention others but I could tell from her comments that she wasn’t a fan of Mango Square. I agreed that the discos were not to my liking but I enjoyed the sports bars. I asked her about Liv Superclub that I had read about and if it was worth a visit or was it like the discos in Mango Square. She told me Mango Square is where the lower social class go and I would find Liv a much better option. Not one to miss an opportunity, I asked if she wouldn’t mind ‘chaperoning’ me one night for a few drinks. She hesitated for a few seconds and then asked if she could bring a co-worker. I was thinking she had Ms. Receptionist in mind but it didn’t matter to me. She makes a call and speaks in Visaya only but I could pick up a few words and the one that stuck out was Liv. She finishes her call and said we can meet at 10pm tonight in front of her office and their driver will take us. Great but……

I am thinking to myself that I may be cutting it close since I have a 7 PM dinner with Ms. Davao. Up until this point, I had no idea what my chances were with Ms. Davao and she seemed very business oriented. Therefore, I didn’t think she would want to stay out too late for sake of work the next day. Plans solidified with Ms. Real Estate and I would need to just adjust or change plans depending on how the dinner proceeded.

Back to the hotel just in time to shower and make my way to Bucket Shrimps. It would have been a 15-minute walk but I opted for a taxi instead so I wouldn’t arrive with underarm sweat marks. She was only 10 minutes late, which I assume is considered early for PI time.

We order, we eat, we drink (more so me than her, she was a light drinker), we talk, we laugh, and we had fun. The Cajun shrimp bucket ($8) had enough kick to it that it put a little sweat on my forehead. It was getting decision time; 9:30 to be exact. Do I continue on with Ms. Davao and make an excuse to cancel with Ms. Real Estate or make an excuse to leave within the next 15 minutes. Ms. Davao answers her phone and rolls her eyes while talking. It’s her work and there is a problem of some sort she must go attend. She is one of the manager’s in a call-center and must go take care of the issue. My decision is made for me. We say goodbye with a promise to see other again. Grab a taxi and get back to the hotel in time to freshen-up.

I make it to the Real Estate office at 10 only to find a guy, Ms. Real Estate’s co-worker, and his wife. He said that Ms. Real Estate will meet us at Liv. Off we go for the 15 min ride. It is rather empty at this time and we grab a table. I order a bottle of Jack ($40) and a bucket of beers ($8). The drink prices are a little more here as compared to the other places with mixed drinks ranging from $2 – $4, domestic beer $2, and imported beer $3. Still a bargain in my book.

Ms. Real Estate shows up about 15 minutes after we arrive. She is looking quite striking with a body hugging white dress that barely covers her ass. The dirty old man comes out of me and I wonder if she is wearing anything underneath.

They are slowly drinking and I assume it’s because they work the next day. By midnight, only a quarter of the bottle had been consumed and it’s time for them to leave. I am little disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to see what, if anything, Ms. Real Estate was wearing underneath. Now I am alone with a ¾ bottle of Jack and a couple of beers in the bucket.

I start scouring around looking for an approachable opportunity. I avoid girls that are in a group of 3 or more with one exception, if I make eye contact with one of the girls and she gives the inviting look. You know what I am talking about. I also avoid a table of girls if there is a guy sitting with them. There were some obvious and not so obvious pros mostly by themselves hanging around the bar area. They definitely gave the inviting look.

By now the place is about half full and I focus in on a table with 2 girls drinking a beer. I make my approach and was shot down even before I could finish my sentence. Ouch! That hurt the ego. I return to my table and continue observing. I make a move for the bathroom and on my way there, I see another table with 2 girls. I approach them on my return trip and this time I was able to at least get a couple of sentences in before being shot down again. They were nice about it though. They were waiting for their boyfriends. Back to my table.

I am now thinking I may have to resort to a Pro for the night. I wasn’t ready to leave, I had plenty of alcohol, and I didn’t want to sit there by myself all night. I got up and was about to approach a Pro near the bar when 2 ladies come strolling in looking for a place to sit. The place had plenty of seats available with some being better than others. I had a prime spot though. I approached with a nice smile, said hello, and explained to them that my business associates had to leave early and I had all this alcohol left. I invited them to join me but made it clear I was only going to stay another hour and then I had to leave as well. They swallowed my little white lie; bait, hook, line, and sinker.

We get back to the table and lady 1 wants a beer and lady 2 a JD with water (that’s the first time I have ever seen a Filipina drink a whiskey with water). We start the usual babbling back and forth. Lady 1 is 32, 1 kid, never married, from Manila, and on a business trip for some conference or trade show. Lady 2 is 31, 2 kids, separated, from Manila, and she came to Cebu with her friend to get away from Manila for a few days. We continue talking as much as we can over the music. We drink, we dance, we talk, we dance, etc. I am getting a good vibe from lady 2 but not ignoring lady 1. Some light touching on the arm and leg, joking, and teasing each other.

It’s now a little after 2 am and lady 1 reminded me that I was supposed to leave about an hour before. It’s better I stay here and make sure you get back to your hotel safely, I explained. Translation: I want to make sure you get back to your hotel and your friend makes it back to mine.

They excuse themselves to go to the CR and upon returning, lady 1 didn’t seem to be in a good mood but lady 2 was in a better mood. I couldn’t figure that one out. Perhaps it was the JD and water lady 2 had been drinking like it was only water. Not long after returning, lady 1 grabs her purse, says goodbye and leaves but not before telling me to be sure her friend gets back safely. Concerned that I said or did something to offend lady 1, I apologized to lady 2. Lady 1 wasn’t upset with me; she was upset with her friend because lady 2 didn’t want to leave. She explained that she didn’t get a chance to go out and party like this when she’s back home in Manila and she wanted to make the best of it. I just smiled and said let’s party.

After some more dancing and drinking (she put a good dent in the bottle), the lights came on and I could see the disappointment on her face. She wasn’t ready to stop. I suggested we continue at my hotel. Her smile returns and off we go.

We get to my room, I pour us a drink, and play some music from my laptop. I asked her if she knows how to play tongits (I haven’t met a Filipina that doesn’t know how). Tongits must be there unofficial national card game and it’s very similar to the game of rummy. I suggest we play strip tongits; the losing hand loses a piece of clothes. She’s game. We do some more talking while playing tongits and she tells me that she hasn’t had sex in almost a year. Me neither, I said jokingly.

After several hands we are both down to just our underwear. She has an amazing body for someone that has spit out 2 kids; no stretch marks anywhere and her tits still in the right place. Sorry, Stick readers, that’s all the dirt you get. No need to delve into what happened next.

We wake the next morning way too late for the buffet so I order room service. She comes out of the bathroom and literally attacks me but in a good way. Yep, she was definitely sex craved. Unfortunately, she had to return to Manila that evening and after we finished eating, she had to leave to go meet up with her friend.

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