Patong Beach Love Story
Was she a nice girl, or was she just another player?
To start my story, I had my first trip to Patong Beach, Phuket with 2 mates in November last year. Both are seasoned travelers to Thailand. My mates are around my age, 47. One of them is engaged to a Thai girl living and working in a no sex massage salon in Patong.
To be honest, I definitely have a big attraction to good-looking Asian girls. So my first trip I fell in love with the place. The beaches, the lifestyle and the nightlife of the best nightclub I’ve even been in. And the cheap cost of taking a pretty girl home for the night. I went home with 2 girls in the 10-day period. I came home to Australia still very naive to how the country works.
I kept in touch with one of the girls for a while until it got to breaking point, stress-wise. While I was there we went out for dinner one night with my mate’s fiancé who is mid 30s and she brought a friend who was 23. She was very pretty, quiet and reserved. We had a few dances all of us and that was that. Think she stayed at her friend’s place. Apparently she lives with her family out of Patong somewhere and has a good job as a receptionist at a hotel somewhere.
I don’t know when I added her on Facebook but I believe we started messaging around mid-January. I made first contact. She had a good picture of herself in a post saying loneliness isn’t a bad thing because it gives you time to look after yourself. I messaged her and asked if she was okay. We messaged a bit, I guess for a month or so.
When I got back from my original trip I quickly went and booked my next trip there on my own which was May 1st – 10th. First I sent her a postcard of my hometown. Lovely beaches on the coast of New South Wales. I think she was excited to receive this. Then stuffed toys, a kangaroo and a koala. She said she couldn’t wait to receive it and chased up the mail everyday. She started to lure me in when she sent photos of herself in beautiful surroundings with comments like “You should be here”. I then asked her if she would like to stay with me on my holiday as I believed we would have a lot of fun together. I wanted to go do the islands, tigers and elephant thing, all things she said she loved doing. This was around February. She didn’t give me a yes or no. Just a let’s see.
After a couple of weeks she said she would stay from the 5th to the 10th. Get holidays from work. I was super excited. Now I really thought I put it out there to her in messages asking if she was ok with the age difference and how did she feel about us sexually. She said the age didn’t matter as she would be doing things she liked and she would be happy and others would see this also. She never replied to me asking about us sexually. She would send me messages and say things like “counting down days till you arrive “. “Not long now”. “Can’t wait to see you”.
Fast forward to April 26th, 5 days before I arrive in Patong. There is a photo of her with a girlfriend on a plane. I asked her where she was going. She said to see her family. I said don’t you live with your family? She said she was going to see her grandmother. But she should be back on the 6th which was one day later than we had arranged. She had asked before if I could buy her some perfume in Sydney which she couldn’t get over there and would give me the money but I insisted I buy it as a gift. When I bought it in Sydney I messaged her and told her I had bought it. She said she was so happy and couldn’t wait to see me soon. She asked me when I was flying out and wished me a safe flight. Feeling something for this girl, I also bought her a pair of expensive earrings as a surprise.
I arrived late on May 1st. I went and grabbed something to eat. A little stroll down Bangla Road and back to my hotel. By this time I’ve been awake for 24 hours. I got up the next morning and walked the beach and caught up with some friends for lunch. The next day I just walked around and caught up with another mate for dinner that was living and working in Patong. When I told him Laila was coming to stay with me he said he didn’t know her well. But his partner was in the same circle of friends. He said be careful. The pretty ones are the ones who suck you in and he feared she might be a player. I said thanks. But I think I was on this false high Thailand gives you.
I messaged her the next day, the 4th. She said she was still away and may be be back on 6th or 7th.
By this time I was getting annoyed because I had planned for us to do so much together during those 5 days. She said to go and enjoy time with my friends. I said I had planned these 5 days for us and I was alone now.
So on the 6th I booked a tour for myself to do the tigers and elephant thing. I enjoyed my day and put up my experiences up on Facebook. She messaged me around mid morning on the 7th and said she was back in Phuket but needed to go home and have a sleep and a massage. Then she had to wait to see her father and could come to me at 10 PM. I told her not to come as I was annoyed she had stuffed me around. I don’t drink much and had been out a few nights drinking and probably had not had enough sleep. Maybe I was already a little depressed. I don’t know. Anyway, she pleaded that she come and spend time with me. That I had planned these things and she wanted to show me around to thank me for my kindness. I said ok but had to book our trip to Phi Phi Island now so we could go tomorrow as the next day I was booked in for a new tattoo in Thai writing. It’s now a permanent reminder of the hurt and deceit. So said do you promise you’re coming or I’ll find someone else to come with me. She said yes.
Later that evening I said maybe we should go for a quiet drink somewhere when she arrives so we can have a chat. Not so, we just went to bed. She said I was gonna mention we do that. So at 10:20 PM she arrives. I went to greet her at her motorbike in the car park. As I approached she asked me to wait there as she didn’t want me to see her messy clothes that she was sorting through. She left some in her bike. She told me before she was going home earlier to rest and repack her bag. Well the bag had many dirty clothes. I didn’t think anything of it. I checked her in and we went to my room. I gave her the perfume and then the earrings I bought her as a surprise. She gave me a Thai calendar she got for me. I felt appreciated. She had said sorry in her messages for keeping me waiting. So she wants to go to the nightclub. I really didn’t want to as I needed a good night’s sleep but I said yes because I wanted to be with her. I bought the first drinks. She said I will get the next ones. That didn’t happen. I must have bought about 6 each. Just wanted to actually pump a few drinks into her so I could get lucky when we went home. Anyway, not knowing that Thais don’t show affection in public I sensed I wasn’t getting a warning vibe trying to dance with her. We left around 1:30 AM. Then she was hungry. She went and bought some noodles and sat down. Told me to go home. I had been waiting for her too much already but of course I waited. So we are close to my hotel. I don’t remember if I was holding her hand or tried to cuddle her and she stopped and said what do you want from me, John? I said I wanted to have sex with her. She pulled away and said she had her period. When we went into the room she laid down on the bed. She just said she wanted to go to sleep so being a gentleman I let it be.
We got up the next morning for our day trip to Phi Phi Island. Internally, I was hurting a little as I knew I had an attachment to her. I had feelings. I was tired all day and I wasn’t 100% myself. I was reserved because of my feelings for her. I had a swim at the first island. She said she couldn’t because she had her period so I then assumed she was telling me the truth. She asked me to take some photos of her which I did. One was of her jumping up in the air freely. Then she asked me if we wanted to get one doing the same thing together. I instantly remembered she had exactly the same type of photo with a bloke from around late December on Facebook. I said no it was okay. I was feeling like she had done this before.
Throughout the day she took many photos for herself. She said she had not been there since she was 15. She got some selfies of us together and later messaged them across to my phone. When we went home that afternoon I explained to her it was hurting me spending time with her because I had feelings for her and I didn’t know why she was staying with me and she didn’t have to. Her reply was always because I want to spend time with you. But there was no affection. She never came near me in bed. Even when I asked her to come closer so we could talk she wouldn’t. But me being a softy I let her stay. She had sucked me in over the past 5 months. Got her perfume and earrings. Her free meals and a trip to the island and a comfy bed in a nice resort. We went to bed around 8 PM as we were both stuffed. Before that I quickly went out and even wrote her a note explaining my feelings for her so maybe she could understand this better with me not there. She speaks fluent English so there wasn’t an issue with communication.
When I came back I asked if she understood. She said yes but still wanted to stay. Thinking she is a respectable girl I didn’t want to ask her to go. I had hired a bike and the next morning she took me to a few lookouts she thought I might like. We were back at my motel at lunchtime. I took her for lunch and then I was booked into my tattoo at 2:00 PM. I didn’t expect her to sit there so she said she would go visit a friend. She was messaging me asking how it was going and said she couldn’t wait to see it. It was some words “honesty, love, respect, truth” all in Thai and some Buddhism quotes which she had translated for me. I was in love with this country and my newfound interest in Buddhism. I messaged her how about we meet at my hotel at 6 PM. She replied with was it okay that she stay and have dinner with her father as he was worried as he had tried ringing the night before but she didn’t answer. I said of course. So now I wasn’t going to see her till 10 PM again. Why if she had a missed call from your parents would you not ring back when you saw it? Probably another lie.
So she messaged me coming to you now. Can’t wait to see your tattoo. By this time I had fallen more for her because I thought she was this beautiful girl and I respected her more that she wasn’t cheap and hadn’t been intimate with me.
I was lying down when she got back. She looked at my tattoo and was showing me a picture of a palm tree she wanted to get tattooed. I don’t know if she was looking for me to offer. Once again I mentioned my feelings for her. Then she sat at the end of the bed and said she had a boyfriend. I said why did you stay with me if you have a boyfriend? She said she knew me better now and could tell me. I asked was he Thai? She wouldn’t answer. She said they had known each other a long time but they were not in relationship, whatever that meant!
I was emotional and had tears in my eyes. She could see this. She said oh John what can I do? I said nothing. I said in my country if you have a boyfriend and stay with someone it is wrong. I said the 4 words I had her translate on my leg in to Thai – Love, honesty, truth, respect….she had broken them all. I told her I was going for a walk. She asked if I was going to Bangla Road. I said no and then she asked if I wanted her to come with me. I said no I just need some time alone.
I came back about 15 minutes later. She was still standing in the same spot on her phone doing something. She asked me if I wanted her to go but I said it was up to her. I told her I could not take her gift of the calendar now as when I look at it I would feel hurt. I had bought her that afternoon a going away gift. Some wood carvings with candles.
By this time it was after midnight. I was lying in bed facing away from her on my phone messaging a friend. She said a couple of things and I ignored her. She then said she thought she should go. So I got up and saw her out. I was devastated.
The next day I was very emotional and went to say goodbye to my friend’s fiancé and told her what happened. She said Laila had phoned her and she went and slept at her place. She told Nena she told me she had a boyfriend. Nena said where, I never see. She told me she had not ever known she had a boyfriend. Was this just another lie?
I came back to Australia a broken man, like I’ve been under a spell or something. I tried not to message her but in my weak moments I would. She said it was okay because she missed me and was worried about me. Sent me pictures of the gifts I bought her and how they remind her of me. Pulling on my heartstrings! So then after about a week I messaged her and asked a question as what she was thinking for the last 5 months with the things she would say to me. She read it but no reply.
Then a couple of days later I just said hi and asked how she was. Later her message said “Goodnight, for later” whatever that meant. About 10 days ago I messaged her quite distressed and just asked the same thing again. I wanted her reason for doing what she did as I felt used and hurt. She has not opened that message or has muted the conversation which a friend alerted to me. Either way she didn’t want to read what I was feeling. She kept me on Facebook though. I unfriended her as I was looking at her page everyday and hurting myself more. I had noticed as my friend that she kept her friends list hidden. Why? You can’t tag her in anything and can’t write anything on her wall until she clears it to be seen. There are no pictures of her on her page out partying. But on some of her friends’ pages there are many pictures of her with them out at the clubs. Considering she told her friend I was a gentleman and took care of her and I was a good man why has she now banished me and not give me a thought? Is it immaturity? Is it how the Thai girls operate? Use a westerner for what they can and move on to the next ?I am really struggling to get my head around the whole thing and am still in love with a girl that played me. I’m really depressed. I need to get over her but everyday seems like ground hog day. I can’t be angry with her. I adored her. Any thoughts on what’s happened? Thanks for reading my story. I just want to heal and it’s not happening.
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These stories are always sad to read and yours is especially so as it sounds like it has had quite an effect on your life in general.
I am afraid to say that you did make rather a lot of mistakes. The first was thinking that you could have a serious relationship with a lady half your age from a foreign culture you know very little about. Even forgetting the fact that you both come from very different parts of the world, she was just too young. Most 23-year old Thai women are just not ready for a relationship.
I think your mate’s fiancé who brought her along to meet you in the first place should have been more open with you about her. I am convinced the fiancé knew EXACTLY what this lady is like…and I don’t believe her claims of ignorance.
While you feel this lady is wrong for leading you on – and that’s a fair comment – I also think that you have to take some of the blame for things not working out. You’ve been very naive and have got quite excited about a lady young enough to be your daughter, a lady you really knew precious little about. It sounded much the same as a young teenage male becoming infatuated with someone for the first time.
Much of what she told you is no doubt lies and there are major communication issues – plenty she says you don’t understand, and likely vice versa.
She may well have been on holiday with another guy when she was supposed to meet you and the fact that she has hidden her friends list on Facebook suggests she has secrets. She might even have more than one Facebook page – many of these girls do.
This girl sits somewhere between player and freelancer…not sure what the best term is. I understand the hurt and disappointment but you need to put her behind you. She is not girlfriend material at all.
My advice is get her out of your mind and move on. She’s obviously eating you up and affecting other parts of your life. Don’t let her do that. Forget her and move on.
The author can be contacted at : firstname.lastname@example.org