Readers' Submissions

Bangkok Massage (2)

  • Written by Anonymous
  • June 6th, 2017
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

I refer to my previous contribution, Bangkok Massage. I recently visited Bangkok again and have some updates.

I ended the last article with a reference to Mitu No Hands massage and directions on how to get there. It has changed. The place I described has been taken over by someone else and now trades under the name Dozo Massage. The name implies a tendency towards Japanese clientele so I noted the change but didn’t go in. That part of town, Sukhumvit soi 33 and soi 35, is Little Japan with Japanese restaurants, some Japan-themed shops and a Fuji supermarket, so the target demographics are hardly a surprise.

I remembered, though, Mitu had 2 locations so I set off to find the other place, which is in soi 33, sub-soi 4 – very close by. It has a non-descript entrance with a small sign that says something like “Mitu Massage, for Gentlemen Only”. There’s not a lot of encouragement to go in but I wanted to try. It seems the No Hands massage has fallen by the wayside but they have the wet massage. This is not a soapie massage; it’s close but not the same. They use Japanese lubricants, I guess it’s a nuru gel, that perhaps gives a similar experience but without the soap bubbles. It’s enjoyable. Maybe you have to like that kind of thing but while I’m not a fan of the soapies I quite liked this place.

Mitu also targets the Japanese market. The owner (or manager?) speaks good Japanese and English. I heard him having a friendly conversation with a Japanese patron that lasted around 10 minutes and he never missed a beat. And his English is good – he didn’t struggle to speak or understand anything I said. The place was clean, the room was fine, the towels were good quality and well laundered. They give you a 100ml bottle of Lipovitan (energy drink) before you start (presumably to kick-start your performance), bring your choice of one bottle of water, soft drink or beer to the room for the main event and an ice cream bar when you leave. Maybe the extras aren’t needed but they’re a nice touch.

They give their ladies ratings – 3, 4 or 5 stars – and price them according to their stars. The prices seem to be 20% higher than other places, starting at 2,800 baht for 3 stars going up to 4,100 baht for 5 stars. They only offer sessions of 75 minutes which seems a bit less time than normal. On both of my visits I felt I had more like 90 minutes but perhaps that’s just me boasting.

Overall I enjoyed this place and will go back. But it’s very much a case of ‘to each his own’.

I also visited Club 102, a place that advertises on Stick’s website. It positions itself as an indulgent experience. It might be more upmarket than other places but I felt not by a large factor. I can understand they need to do something to stand out from the competition because they’re in an area that has a lot of massage parlors – a rectangular U-shaped soi that starts and ends near the corner of Sukhumvit and soi 24. And they’re among some famous names being next door to Addict Massage which has many followers and a few doors away from Mango Massage which also has a good reputation. There must be another half dozen or so massage places in the same side street so Club 102 needs something to set them apart from the others.

Value for money. Prices are lower than Mitu Massage and you have the choice of 60, 90 or 120 minute sessions, not a fixed 75 minutes like Mitu. I think the prices are the same as Addict and Mango. (The price at Club 102 for 90 minutes was the same as a 3 star lady at Mitu for 75 minutes. The price is the same no matter which lady you choose.)

Ambience. Here’s where I have a small problem, not with the facility but the concept. They advertise a premium experience starting with the entry. The reception / sitting area was nice – it’s exactly as shown in the ads. The issue I have is western men tend not to hang around in the reception area. We typically choose our lady, go off to have our fun and then leave. Asian men tend to hang around the reception area but I didn’t see any Asian men at Club 102. It makes me wonder if they’re hitting their target. Why invest in a facility that won’t be enjoyed by the target market? The rooms were similar to other places I’ve seen although I can see they made an effort to make them more upscale. I give them a better than pass mark but again, not by a big margin. The room I used (and I don’t know if every room is the same) had a mirror on the side wall. That was excellent. I never understood why some naughty places have mirrors on the ceiling – it doesn’t do anything for me. But having a mirror on the wall was very good. It made me feel like I was starring in my own porno movie. It made the BJ so much better.

In all these places the experience comes down to the quality of the lady. In Club 102 mine was good but not outstanding. And that was my assessment of the place. Maybe I could go back and have my socks (or more) blown off but when I went it was ‘just’ a solid experience.

I feel a bit bad writing this piece and the last one. I don’t want to sound like a massage connoisseur because I’m not. I go to Bangkok several times a year for a few weeks each visit and I don’t go to massage places on every trip. So I’m not an expert and I’m only writing this because I made some comments last time that have changed and I wanted to update the information.

For the less experienced though I will say I’ve come across five different approaches to the process of selecting your partner (the lady).

1. The fish bowl

2. The line up

3. The casual meeting area

4. The photo book

5. The allocation

The fish bowl features ladies sitting in a room which is visible to the visitor through glass. There will often be 10 – 20 or even more women sitting in this area, all keen to show their wares and / or attract attention by waving at you. You tell a mamasan or papasan which one you want and they’re called outside of the fish bowl. I don’t know if you can send them back if they don’t meet your expectation when they exit the room (but something tells me it’s unlikely). The fish bowl is used in places like Annie’s and Darling (the latter may have closed?).

The line up is used by places like Club 102, Addict and (if I remember correctly) Mango. When you enter the mamasan or papasan calls all the available ladies to line up in front of you so you can select the one you want. The selection process is more intense than the fish bowl because you (presumably) make one lady happy and leave the others disappointed. Or vice versa if you’re not a very appealing person. Some customers love the selection process and others find it intimidating.

The casual meeting area is a cross between the line up and a freelancers place (but it’s nothing like a freelancer place!). The casual meeting area is a bar or set of tables where the ladies are sitting down chatting among themselves and casually sipping drinks, talking with each other. You’re greeted by a mamasan or papasan where you discuss the pros and cons of the ladies. There can be gesturing towards the ladies (because it’s hard to see their number from a distance) to get an idea of their ‘skill set’. You can go up and talk to one or more of them if you have the confidence and perhaps linguistic skills but everything is finalized thru the mamasan / papasan. I’ve only seen the casual meeting area used in places that cater to Asian men, e.g. Long Beach (Love Boat) Massage – in fact if you google that place you’ll see they advertise a coffee shop with food which is not unusual for places that cater to Asian men. They position it a place to socialize with your friends where you just happen to take a lady to a room for entertainment.

The photo book, or tablet in its modern guise, is my second least favorite method of selecting ladies. As the name implies you’re given a photo album with pictures of the available women. They normally have information about them as well – their vital statistics and skills. You choose based on this. The problem is you don’t know how much photoshopping has been done and again, once you’ve made your choice I’m not sure there’s a way to change. I’ve seen the photo book being used in massage places that cater to the Japanese demographic. Mitu uses the photo book (via a tablet) as does 37.2o (in Sukhumvit soi 39, opposite soi 24) – both cater to the Japanese market but they welcome other nationalities. It’s a handy way for the massage place to market the ladies in multiple languages.

The allocation method is my least favorite. Here the massage place assigns the lady to you. This is what happened to me at Exotic Massage that I reported on in March and a place I went to several years ago in Siam Square (I forgot the name). This is normal practice at the traditional, not-naughty massage places. I don’t understand why a naughty massage parlor would do this but it happens at some places.

If all of this is too overwhelming and you’re happy to use your own facilities you can always bypass it and use Smooci or try Tinder. So many choices, so little time.

A couple of final thoughts. I’m not being paid by anyone for this. I’m not endorsing any particular place. I’m only reporting what I’ve found. And as I said I’m not an expert. I enjoy an occasional massage – the naughty kind – but I don’t claim special knowledge. There are plenty of websites and blogs you can explore to get information.

I don’t like traditional massage. On the few occasions I’ve had a “real” massage I felt like I was going to be broken into two pieces. If I’m offered a traditional or Thai massage I give it a miss because I don’t enjoy pain. Those little Thai ladies have strong fingers, hands and elbows! The same applies to a foot massage. I have tender feet and when they drill my soles with that pointy little wooden thing I feel like I’m walking on hot ashes. I know, it’s too much information …

stickman_256

The author cannot be contacted.