A Crazy Life – Part 4 (Patpong, Panthers and Pun)

In my part 3 submission, I recounted my first experience with a Thai ‘companion’, who turned out to have a few screws loose! But apart from that, I enjoyed my short break in Bangkok, and decided to return a few days later to investigate the possibilities of running my business from Thailand.

I flew back to Bangkok just 5 days later. At that time, I was getting air miles for each flight that I booked. Doing weekly business-class commute flights between London and Bangkok resulted in a lot of air miles and a lot of expense. I was still in stupid ‘Hey I’m rich!” mode, and at that time in my life, I wouldn’t have considered flying “cattle class”.

Not knowing too much about the different areas of Bangkok, I settled on Sala Daeng and Silom Road as a location to base myself, both for living and for business. I rented a condo in Sala Daeng, (which seemed a very pleasant part of Bangkok, and close to good amenities), and then went looking for an office to rent.

I ended up in the Kasemkij Building. This is a fairly old tower block, about 9 floors high, located directly opposite CP Tower on Silom Road. Nowadays, there’s a McDonald’s restaurant in CP Tower and a large LED TV screen on the Kasemkij building.

I rented an office at the rear of the office block. This had the added benefit of having a direct view over Patpong. As I sat at my desk, I could look out of the window and see all the comings and goings of the bar girls and their customers.

Such was the level of activity at that time in Patpong that I actually got very little work done, and would spend hours looking out of the office window, oggling the gogo girls in their tight working clothes.

Of course, being single and with Patpong right on my doorstep, it didn’t take me long before I decided to venture out to explore further.

At that time in my life, despite my experiences with the whorehouses in Spain, I was still very naive about the goings-on within the Thai nightlife sector. I was soon to find myself on the other side of the bar from the customers (I’ll cover this in subsequent submissions).

Let me tell you about a funny incident that occurred to me, shortly after I moved into my new office. I was walking down Patpong and happened on The Star of Light bar. Now this particular bar is famous (infamous?) as one of the oldest blowjob bars in Bangkok. Such a genre of bar didn’t feature in my Spanish experiences, and I had no idea that this bar offered BJs.

As I wandered past the bar, I saw that the door was closed and guarded by a large Thai man. That intrigued me (you know the saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’?). So I motioned to the guy that I wanted to go into the bar. He opened the door, ushered me inside, and closed the door after me.

The Star of Light is a small bar. There was the bar itself, with bar stools of course. There was also a large sofa on the other side of the room, more like a Regency Chaise Longue. What startled me, apart from the fact that there were only 2 customers in the bar (including myself) was that the only other customer was totally stark naked, enormously obese, and lying full-length on the sofa whilst 2 Thai women performed oral sex on him!

He didn’t react at all to my presence, and nor did the 2 wenches who were servicing him. Business as usual, I suppose. I sat at the bar, ordered a drink, and was offered a BJ right there and then in the open bar.

I wasn’t quite ready to sip my beer ‘tackle-out’. So the bargirl offered to give me the BJ behind a small curtained-off area, at one end of the bar. We dutifully disappeared behind the curtain to do ‘the business’.

Behind the curtain was a very small area, just large enough for a rickety wooden chair. So I dropped my trousers, sat in the chair and the girl kneeled down, with most of her body actually outside of the curtained area, since the latter was so small.

She went to work in a most efficient manner. In fact, she was so good at her job that my toes were soon curling in the air and I leant back on the chair as I stretched my legs out – my 2 feet poking out through the curtains.

Well, all good things must come to an end, and this end was particularly memorable. In my final ecstasies, as I leant back on the decrepit chair’s 2 rear legs, the damn chair collapsed about me, causing the bar girl to almost bite my willy off! We both collapsed on the floor outside the curtained area, me narrowly avoiding getting the end of a broken chair leg up my jacksey, the girl falling backwards with a face covered in .. er .. semen.

And throughout all this commotion and hilarity, the naked guy having a BJ didn’t bat an eyelid…

Having endured this somewhat painful and embarrassing experience at The Star of Light, I decided to venture into a more mainstream bar. So I made my way to the end of the soi and ventured in to Pink Panther, ablaze with gaudy pink lights.

This was also a long-established bar. One of the regular events was a Thai boxing match. The gogo girls would clear the stage, a boxing ring with ropes would be set up, and then both Thai and western fighters would spar for a small pot of prize money.

It was all good entertainment, and this bar became my favorite watering hole, not only because of the boxing events, but also because of the pretty gogo dancers. I was about to meet a woman who would stay a friend with me to the current day.

Now I need to explain that I am not a well-built guy. Neither tall nor muscular, I can best be described as ‘wiry’, perhaps a typical Thai man’s body size. Because of this, I’m not all that keen to entertain gogo dancers who tower over me in statue. So I favour the shorter, cuter sort of girl (my lack of height preference also minimises the chances of encountering a post-off ladyboy LoL).

Whilst watching the gogo girls dancing in Pink Panther, my eyes fell on a diminutive girl, wearing the obligatory knee length boots with enormous high heels. Even with these 6-inch heels, she still looked tiny. But what stood her apart from the other dancers was that rather than looking bored, she was smiling all the time and dancing energetically. My head (yes the small one!), had to get to know her better.

I bar-fined her and we got chatting. Her name was Pun (name changed for confidentiality), and she was 24 years old. Actually, 24 was not much less than her height in inches without her boots on – she stood about 4 feet 9 inches in her bare feet and weighed no more than 34 kilos.

Boy, was she an interesting woman! She didn’t smoke and didn’t drink, played pool like a pro and was extremely headstrong and self-confident. Perhaps being so tiny had made her strong in character. Anyway, I found her a really interesting person and we got to know each other very well, both socially and carnally.

In the coming months, many times when I was working at my desk in Kasemkij, she would crawl under my desk and give me a BJ as I tapped away on my computer 🙂

We would go out for meals and share the bills – she never asked me for excessive amount of money, and always called out any Thai person who tried to double-charge me.

On occasions over the next few months, we would go on weekend trips to places like Samui or Phuket, staying at high-end hotels, just hanging out, not a weekend of continual sex.

I recall on one occasion, we stayed at the nearby Landmark Hotel for the weekend (since I didn’t want her to know exactly where I lived in Sala Daeng). Being the big spender as I still was, I booked no less than the Presidential Suite at the hotel. This cost about $3,000 USD a night, offered several en-suite bathrooms, Jacuzzi and no less than 2 dedicated hotel staff who stood outside the suite door all night, ready to do whatever I commanded, (which was actually nothing, since I was fast asleep with Pun in my arms).

Pun still worked at the bar, and was a popular girl, being bar-fined most evenings. I once asked her how many men she had screwed, (since I learnt from her that she started work in the bars at 16 years old). Her answer ran in to the thousands…

I didn’t love Pun, and so I felt no sadness or anger at her exploits. As she told me once, screwing men for money was all she knew – she had no formal education and no useful skills, other than a very tight c**t, a tiny body and a great personality.

One day, I got a very urgent phone call from Pun. Apparently, there had been a terrible road accident. Her baby sister had been killed and her mother was seriously ill in the local hospital in Petchaburi with head injuries. The doctors needed a cash-payment of 50,000 baht before they would operate to save her life. Could I lend her the money?

Of course (and having been living in Bangkok for some time now), I was aware of the ‘sick buffalo’ scams, and I wasn’t about to fall for a similar scam, even if the girl was a really good friend. So I politely declined the loan request.

Pun knew that I could easily spare the money. When I said no, she sadly accepted my response and put the phone down.

It was only a few years later that I learnt the awful truth. There HAD been a terrible road accident. Pun’s mother was sitting in the front passenger seat, cradling Pun’s baby sister. Of course, no seat belts. When the crash happened, both the baby girl and Pun’s mother had gone straight through the windscreen. The baby girl had died immediately when she impacted the road. Pun’s mother had landed on her head, suffering serious head injuries. She had been rushed to the local hospital where Pun had then called me to help with funds. Without my financial assistance, the doctors refused to operate and her mother subsequently died.

Who knows if my money would have meant the difference between life and death. Even today, many years later, the thought often crosses my mind and saddens me.

I lost contact with Pun after that event. But from time to time in the coming years, I would bump into her in Bangkok. She was always very happy to see me. On one occasion (to be covered in a subsequent submission on this website), I put some business her way. But our meetings were usually few and far between.

I did meet her by accident one evening in Nana. As we ventured out of Nana Plaza, hand-in-hand, to go to a restaurant, I was angrily accosted by 3 Scandinavian men. “It’s not right” they said to me. Huh? What are they talking about? “You, with this young girl”. Pun interjected and asked the 3 men exactly how old they thought that she was. “13, no more than 14 years old” was their reply. Pun had just turned 33 years old!

Where is she now in 2017? I know exactly where she is, and some seasoned bar-mongers and readers will also know, and will maybe know exactly who Pun really is.

Venture into one of the most popular gogo bars in Nana Plaza and you’ll see the usual line-up of 18 and 19-year-old dancers, covered in tats, smoking and drinking when not dancing, looking bored as hell as they shuffle about on stage. And then you’ll see Pun, now aged about 40 years old, still wearing the knee-high boots, still dancing like there’s no tomorrow, still smiling and having fun.

Just don’t try to beat her at pool – she’ll wipe the floor with you!

The author can be contacted at : help@myanteach.com