From Khon Kaen To Chiang Mai

My departure from Khon Kaen to Chiang Mai was uneventful, Jumped in a taxi, went to the airport, took off, landed, got into a taxi and went to my hotel.

Settled in, found my dentist’s shop and made my way there for the dreaded appointment.

I jumped into the sky-blue dentist chair. I assumed it was sky blue for therapeutic reasons i.e. meant to have a calming effect on the mind…but since I knew I was being brainwashed by a colour it had the opposite effect. But here I was and there was no going back now.

“What would you like me to do”, he asked.

“I want a nice smile”, I replied. My mouth was 47 years old and being brought up in a large family in a recession-ridden country, teeth were just considered luxurious items for the rich and famous.

Before I knew it I had 4 hands in my mouth, prodding, scraping and poking. A few photos were taken, x-rays completed and then I was left alone for 5 minutes.

He came back with the x-rays and photos and showed me what needed to be done. Soon after his assistant came over with a piece of paper with a list of jobs to be done along with a price list.

I negotiated a few thousand baht off and asked him when he could start.

“WE START NOW!”

I was fully expecting him to say, “Come back tomorrow at 10.” After a stunned silence and the sky blue chair probably working on my mind, I slid back into position. OK, let’s go!

Teeth were ground down, drilled out, one pulled out, casts were made, bad language was held in, my mouth was put through such a process for about 1.5 hours I thought I would never speak again. Finally, he pulled out a mirror and told me to smile. WOW! I was like Tom Cruise, but taller and a little bit saner.

These are just temporary teeth, he said. You come back on Thursday. But I want these ones I replied as I flashed him a smile that would knock the knickers off a nun from 1,000 paces. He got the joke and said see you on Thursday.

It was now Monday evening about 6 PM. I had no plans for the night and was happy about that. I was feeling totally drained as that session in the chair had totally taken it out of me.

I wasn’t expecting to stay in Chiang Mai until Thursday as I had a date waiting for me in Phayao so I contacted Kim, the single mum I was meant to meet and organised to meet her Friday.

So I had a quiet time in Chiang Mai. I wasn’t in the mood for going out and exploring on Tuesday as I was still feeling tender. I felt a bit better Wednesday and met up with a girl from Tinder.

She worked in a boutique hotel as a manager. She was a nice lady, well dressed and presented, excellent English, a good-looking woman in her 40s. But bland, like a bowl of rice with zero spice. That date was pretty short, I had more fun with the 2 sisters in Khon Kaen even though we could not communicate.

Thursday rolled over and I was in the sky blue chair again. He pulled out my temp teeth, did about 10 minutes work and that was it – it was just a check up to see how things were healing. It’s all good, come back next Thursday.

I left and made my way to the bus station to get a ticket to Phayao with ticket booked for Friday afternoon. I was free for the day with nothing to worry about. I made my way back to my hotel via the longer but more scenic route through the naughty zone. It was around 4 PM and my temp teeth were working wonders. Every single girl on the street offered me a massage or invited me in for a drink. Of course, hookers were still not my thing, so I went back to my room and packed up my stuff, took a shower, did a bit of work and went out for dinner about 8:00.

I made the mistake of having a beer in some random bar before eating, just people watching, the older men with younger ladies, the older men with younger boys, the younger boys with hot girls, the tourists the cars, the scooters. I was having such a relaxed time that 1 beer ended up being 4 and for a man that does not drink much it made me feel sexualised….

Off for a walk, I went towards the naughty zone. I walked up one side and was heading down the other. Nothing had caught my eye until out of the blue I saw this LBD hugging the body of possibly a 25-year-old girl. I thought my date in Khon Kaen was a babe, but this girl was next level propaganda. The long black hair, the beautiful white smile (not mine, hers) her tanned skin, the figure from the centre pages of a Victoria Secret magazine, and the clincher, the look she gave as if I was the only man on earth.

We held a gaze for some time, my mind saying “Should I go in, should I go in, should I go in?” Her mind was probably saying, “I hope this guy is a sucker, I hope this guy is a sucker”

And yes, I was a sucker, a sucker for a total babe.

In I walked, she linked my arm and sat me centre of the empty bar. She slid beside and placed her hand on my crotch. I quickly removed it and told her I was married (which I’m not) and just here for a beer. She was totally professional about it and reminded me that my wife was not here and she would never know. I countered with the fact that I would know and it would not be good for my mind. I was almost starting to believe myself that I was married.

It was a tiny bar, and it was empty apart from me, my sexy new friend, one other girl and the compulsory angry older lady boss.

I bought a beer and what ever she was having, also a beer… and the night began…

The author cannot be contacted.