Readers' Submissions

Night Fighters



Sixteen years now around the play for pay scene in both Thailand and the Philippines have hopefully taught me much about women, the sex business, and myself. I am approaching 71, and I’m still in the game.

Would like to make some observations that may be useful for someone arriving from the lonely western environs. Many, I think, are feeling the way I felt when I got to Patong Beach in 2001. Ecstatic with joy that sex was not such a difficult thing to get and with women more beautiful than I had been able to engage in the States. Laughably, I even had such silly thoughts as “finally they recognize me “, that cheerleader not available to me as a young, or even middle-aged man making decent money.

Wow, I can remember eating Kamagra and Apcialis like candy and sometimes experiencing 4 or 5 ladies in a day, many stunningly beautiful such as I had not had in earlier life although I thought I did ok… Of course then 1,000 baht long time got a girl who would wash you in the shower and fold your clothes.

But then maybe one thinks they can have a “girlfriend” and the lessons start… It seems to me a man needs to recognize the difference in both perspective and motivation although he may claim to be a butterfly and free of commitment ideas, in truth most everyone I know has thought they had something they really did not in the way of fantasizing love. Even though we have experts all around us warnings us, it seems no-one fails to pay their dues as a fool.

Yeah, there are lots of guide books and I have known some of the authors who admit they just wrote them for money and didn’t believe their own BS. But reality is the girl is out to help the people she really does love, her family then boyfriend or girlfriend, not some big-nosed blabbering old English guy.  If we are unaware we can have her and that whole family until our pensions and savings are gone, then it is back across the pond to live.

We cannot blame her nor should we try to shortchange her, after all she gives everything she has.

And if we go for sole possession, for me that is where the problems start. I have many friends here and I respect the ones who leave her better than they found her as she has a narrow window of power until she is not attractive.

You know that saying “You don’t lose your girl, you just lose your turn“. To me it means she will come back after whatever infatuated man finally has given up on trying to control and outsmart a girl 40 years younger than him with multiple options. If you were kind and generous without spending like a total fool, she will not forget you over time.

After 10 years in Thailand, I moved to the Philippines where English is spoken, never being able or willing to learn the Thai language. In the Philippines, English is understood by most and the girls come from greater poverty. Maybe it is the Catholicism that makes them kinder than the Thais, I don’t know but think maybe a blend of the religion and the poverty. And anyone who has lived here very long simply enjoys being around the laughter and happiness rather than the more financially driven Thais. And hearing a language that sounds like geese honking.

Kindness and sweet faces aside, one still has to be smart to keep his stash. Like the old timers here say, “They f__ k you here too, just in a nicer way” but, you can get by on very little and pay a fraction of Thai prices without having to dumb down to speaking Tinglish…

Why do I say “night fighters”? It is because we lazy men go out at night to pick them from the dancers in bars. If you ever look at the dancers then down to the guys sitting at the bar, it occurs to me the girls have a profound advantage because we sure as hell are not attractive. They are fighting for the one thing we have that they want. Any guesses?

And I think it is just fine – they cost less than wives when the truth is told and are infinitely easier to part with. At this moment, I am laying next to one I adored for years, had her for a while then a younger competitor took her away. She came back after a year ago and I will provide her a ticket to her home province in the far south and am helping her through her transition on to something different in life. She still has the braces I bought over a year ago and arrived on the Honda bike I bought her. I hear children playing and laughing at the swimming pool and feel grateful I made this decision so many years ago.

Of course, I have done the salary thing and talked about love, but I don’t talk about it anymore. I either help them or I don’t. I am in to friends with benefits not nightfighting and monthly arrangements.

It’s just where I have gotten to and feel just fine about it my fellow travelers…

Pay as you go, with an occasional blessing for her if you can :)… Look out for number one because they have no choice but to grab what they can…

The author can be contacted at : [email protected]