So You Want A Thai Girlfriend Or Bride
The following is based on my experiences from using dating sites for dating Asian women (girlfriend material not hookers/freelancers), and in particular reference to this article, finding a Good Thai woman. Maybe you are tired of the P4P/Bar/Nightclub scene, or it isn’t for you in the first place. In the past I have used several dating sites looking for a girlfriend and dated a Filipina, Indonesian, Vietnamese and finally 3 different Thai women, including my wife. All in their native countries. I currently live bi-country (USA and Thailand) and I am currently building a house in Hua Hin.
Before I begin, I want to clarify to the vast majority of readers, ignore so many of the guest articles here degrading Thai women and Thai culture are from a skewed and misguided minority. Their altered reality is just that – many because of their perversion/prostitution/inebriation issues. I see you guys all over Thailand – always the same. OK off the soapbox.
I am not here to plug any particular dating site. They all have their ups and downs but if you want a Thai woman pick a Thai centric site (duh). However, there are some fairly universal truths about site do’s and don’ts, successful strategies, and good Thai women behavior. Regardless of the dating site, if you are looking for a Thai girlfriend or bride then you may want to consider the following suggestions:
Must Do First: Before joining any site, read up on Thai women and family. Read A LOT!! If after reading many blogs, internet articles etc. you understand the basic cultural nuances/differences you will be facing, then start with step #1…
First of all, you have to pay to play. What? You are looking for a good Thai woman why do you have to pay? Premium membership is what I am referring to. Without it, the good girls can’t and/or won’t communicate with you. Also you will lack advanced search options and numerous other beneficial features that let you separate the wheat from the chaff.
Secondly, pay attention to how you set up your profile. Be particular in your description of who you are, what you want/are looking for, and your real interests and hobbies. Don’t embellish/lie because if you meet Ms. Perfect you have already blown it from the start! Fill out the profile as completely as possible. The most desirable women in terms of looks and/or intelligence will scour your details to see if they want to respond to you. In regards to your profile photos, good Thai women love a well-dressed man. Use a photo that shows you accordingly. Maybe a couple of other photos with your dog, skiing etc. Also Mr. Photoshop, use real current pics. Showing 10 year younger pics is a recipe for failure when you do find someone who is interested. Most of us are not Brad Pitt and the good Thai women are not looking for him either. BTW showing your Porsche, hairy chest at the beach, shorts and flip flops with a beer in your hand will get you hookers and nothing else!
Also, if you are looking for a girlfriend/Bride under 28, and you are over 50 – good luck! Most likely you will find an ATM girl and a future cheater. Most good Thai women don’t even think about dating a Western man until after they have experienced 1 or more cheating, lying, angry, drunk etc. Thai boyfriend’s. I found the prime age group to be 29 and up, never married, no kids. Different strokes for different folks.
Now for some clues how to avoid the scammers/hookers.
Ignore every profile that shows a lot of cleavage, bikinis or a lot of skin. No good Thai woman would ever have those type of profile photos.
Pay attention to the times that they are online – their time not yours! Good Thai girls with real jobs go to bed early. Rarely would they be online at midnight. If they are online past 1 AM odds are that they are a scammer and/or hooker. The exception is new members because they get excited by all the attention.
Rule #1 – Read their profile…all of it. If they say do not contact me for sex but show sexy photos then they are a hooker. The more detailed their profile the more real they probably are. If their profile says Any Any Any etc. for age and all the boxes and they say little about themselves. They are a hooker. If they are 30 years old and say they are interested in men 70 years or older, most likely they are a hooker.
If her profile shows her Line, Skype, WhatsApp or phone number, she is a hooker.
If they view your profile and 2 seconds later press the Like/Favorite button, they are probably a scammer/hooker. Most good Thai girls (and certainly the hot ones) do not initiate contact on the site.
If they send you a message right away with their Line, phone# or other outside communication app info, they are a scammer/hooker.
If they try to initiate a chat session before exchanging any messages, most likely she is a scammer/hooker.
If they ask you to view a special website, they are a scammer/hooker.
If they ask you for money……ok Einstein you figure it out!
If they are from Pattaya they are/were a hooker.
If they have tattoos they almost 100% are a hooker.
If they are online all day and night they are a hooker or scammer. Good Thai girls with real jobs are not on dating sites for hours at a time.
If they are currently living in smaller towns and rural areas then they are most likely real but that doesn’t mean they are good (see profile hints above). Understand if they are in a small town or rural area they may not have a good job or any job and are very close to their family, if not living with them. That has its own issues discussed later.
Hint for success in your search: If you’re not Brad Pitt, don’t expect to get interest from Angelina Jolie! Don’t think the hottest, smartest women are going to fall for a fat, bald slob – be realistic about your expectations. Also, if you read their entire profile (rule #1 dummy) and it does not match yours don’t bother showing interest. They will read your profile before ever responding and ignore you. Example: if you say “don’t want kids” and she says “definitely want” etc. Don’t think your Jedi mind trick will make them someone they are not.
When you find the future maybe-Mrs. if you use a “Favorite” tag and don’t send a message, almost all of them will ignore you (unless they are a hooker/scammer). Write some prose, Shakespeare! Understand that these women get dozens (or the super-hot girls hundreds) of messages every day. If you send “you’re cute”, “I love your eyes” (geez like they haven’t seen your tired act before), or some short generic phrase, they will probably never read your message and certainly not reply. You need to be unique (not like the other 650,000 men on the site – yes you have a lot of competition). Make the message about a paragraph long, interesting and with some humor (Thai women love a good sense of humor) Also if you just cut and paste the same message you will have less chance of success. It’s ok to use the same format but reference something you read in their profile (rule #1 again!) so they know you actually read it. The longer they have been a member, the more selective they will be in responding.
Hint: If you see a stunning woman who is your perfect match and she hasn’t been online in a few weeks or more she has most likely met someone. There are exceptions as long time members get bored and stay off the site for quite some time and then may come back. You can always leave a message but 99.9% of the chance you’ll be wasting your time.
If she is online she will see you sent a message. Within a few minutes or sometimes instantly she will look at your profile. If she is interested she will usually send a message back. BTW don’t expect a good Thai girl to want to chat with you instantly. They usually want to message a few times at least.
If they don’t message you back within a day it usually means they are not interested. Move on Don Juan! The supermodel women are super picky. Don’t be an ass and send them some angry message because they don’t like you.
If they agree to chat with you and you are chatting with other girls at the same time and delay your responses they will move on. You are a butterfly to them. Just looking for sex. If you are really interested, focus! Use the same formula for them. If they are taking a long time to respond (consistently) they are probably gaming the system too. Do remember many of them are using translation programs so it can take a few moments. Also translation programs make mistakes! Be prepared for some misunderstandings (this is true in all aspects of Thai dating/marriage).
Don’t ask for a bunch of photos right away. It is a turnoff to them. And never ever think a good Thai woman would send you sexy photos. So don’t be a jack-off pervert and insult them by asking. And John Holmes, she really doesn’t want to see your massive missile! Save it for the honeymoon…
If the two of you really hit it off, ask them for their Line ID and if they would like to get off the site and get to know each other better. Trust me, the good Thai women hate being on the site after a while because they get inundated with messages and chat requests and on and on.
Hint: If you don’t have Line, get it. Every Thai girl uses Line.
Once you two have messaged a little more and she is comfortable with you, ask to FaceTime or video chat. Don’t expect a good Thai woman to want to video chat immediately. Hey Hugh Hefner, don’t try to video chat from your bedroom or in your undies. Dress to impress!
Hint: If they say they are really interested but can never video chat ever (usually with the excuse my phone have no camera (broken), I have no charge (internet access)) Run! They are a scammer. And if they can only video chat after midnight, they are a hooker!
If there is a real connection happening, ask them to be exclusive and stay off the site. Good Thai women that are serious will! But don’t be a loser dick and stay on the site yourself checking out all the new honeys. Sooner or later she or one of her friends will check up on you and see that you are online or were just a few hours ago and you are toast (and maybe chopped dickie if you are sleeping next to her when she finds out!) Good Thai women are very faithful and the main reason they are interested in a Western man is they had a Thai boyfriend in the past that cheated on them (see above). They think we are better boyfriend/marriage material. You get what you play for – you want to play around on her, expect the same in return (or chopped dickie).
Now that you are exclusive she should want to video chat daily. Hint. If she never video chats in the evening and never from her apartment she has a boyfriend or husband! 100%! And if you are living with someone, trust me they will figure it out using the same logic. I know, it’s one of the first things I tell my wife’s friends to do! BTW Hey Romeo, don’t profess your love in the first day or two! She won’t believe you and will cut you off (you have no idea how many guys do just that or even propose marriage WTF!). Be prepared however, many good Thai women will get serious fairly quickly if she is really interested in you.
BTW Read her profile! (I can’t believe how stupid so many guys are with rule #1). If she says she’s not willing to move from Thailand she won’t! Don’t think your George Clooney looks and smile will change her mind. She’s not leaving her family behind so don’t start what you can’t finish!
If all is rosy in the rose garden and you have serious feelings for each other, you need to take the plunge and open up that tight-ass wallet and book a trip to see her. Don’t expect her to video chat forever! And understand that a good Thai woman with a job won’t be able to run away with you for a two week vacation (also they almost always won’t even if they could). Plan on meeting her in her city and expect to go out on a few dates before you even think about any form of intimacy. Most good Thai women won’t even consider sleeping with you right away. There are exceptions and guys with exceptional game, but just prepare for the worst so you don’t get all butt hurt and act like an ass to her.
Speaking of acting like and ass, just try grabbing her ass or a deep French kiss in public and see how soon you are checking out hookers or back on the site because she left you standing looking like the dick moron you are.
Also, those of you who are constantly courting cirrhosis, a good Thai woman usually does not drink much if at all, so think twice about getting on an 18 hour flight to have her leave you when you order your 4th Martini!
Hint: Never show extreme anger or try to manhandle her! She will run away from you just like her old POS Thai boyfriend and maybe a group of Bruce Lees will give you the beat-down in the street you deserve.
If you do fall for each other, understand that you have to have an end game. She’s not going to be your girlfriend forever and wait for your (I’m collecting aluminum cans so I can come) annual visit just because you think you are the World’s Most Interesting Man! You will either have to sponsor her to move to your country or move to Thailand. Either is not an easy proposition, so do your homework on what that entails before wasting time trying to date internationally.
Hint: If she has never been married don’t think being a “committed couple” is going to cut the mustard. If you’re not prepared to put a ring on her finger, you are going to find yourself back on the site (and making the same stupid mistakes you just did). For you Whishy Willies, many Thais marry in a Buddhist ceremony which is not legally binding…Uh I guess that is why you are looking to get married to a Thai?!
Some other notes before you get serious with any Thai woman: Understand if she is from a poor family most likely every now and then you’re going to have to chip in to the kitty. If that’s not your thing be honest up front (and get ready to find another girl). A good Thai woman will not use you like an ATM (unless they are living in a dirt floor shack – but you get what you pick!) but they do want to help their family if they really need it. Don’t think you are going to take the Thai out of your Thai girlfriend/wife and make her forget her culture/religion. And for you cheapskates don’t even bother to date a Thai woman without reading about “Sin sod”. It’s a part of the culture and if you’re going to get married to a Thai most likely you will have to do it for the ceremony. Sometimes it is only ceremonial (the family will give some/all back), and sometimes you don’t get it back. Understand this completely before you make a commitment to dating a Thai woman with the hope of eventual marriage.
I met my wife through Thai Friendly and we have helped several of her friends find their fiancés/husbands so it can work. But I have also seen from the woman’s side (helping them translate and opinions about profiles) that most of the men look and act like complete losers! Hey Dick, don’t be a dick!
BTW for those wanting to just meet hookers, ignore everything I just said and you will score more than you can afford!
Best of luck!