How The Pendulum Swings in Thai Love Stakes
Today is Sunday, 25 December, 2016 – just another Christmas Day here in Farangland. This is the last place I would choose to celebrate Christmas (did I say celebrate? More likely endure is the correct terminology), when my heart is in Bangkok. Christmas in Bangkok is the best there is – but circumstances have dictated that I must be here for this one.
Friday just gone, I decided to walk down Prospect Road to Brookside Shopping Centre and all of these thoughts from 2004 and 2005 came washing over me – and how things have changed since then. At the end of Prospect Road there are new houses and blocks of apartments that were built during that period after 2005 – replacing a large vacant piece of land that was host to a collection of derelict corrugated-iron sheds from some obscure era of the past. Back then, I was living in an apartment with Natalise and I would often walk down a narrow dirt track to the Brookside Shopping Centre from Lade Street, where our apartment was located. In wet weather, the track was often muddy and there was a real risk of slipping and getting a wet bum at least, if one was not careful.
These days, that track has been replaced by a wide concrete bike-way, complete with retaining walls and maintained by a regular patrol from the Council. But you know, I think I liked it better the way it used to be. During 2004 and 2005 I walked that old track many times during my frequent returns from Chiang Mai to attend to banking demands or just to see how Natalise was managing on her own with the two little girls.
Gee, I sure racked up a collection of Frequent-Flyer points during that period – and they were points that I could not afford – but life unwinds in some strange ways.
There are some revelations that come on unexpectedly … but, in hindsight, I should have seen the writing on the wall – in fact, I should have seen that writing back in Bangkok – even before I brought Natalise to Australia on that first Tourist Visa. We argued a lot when we lived in that apartment in Sathorn – but I put it down to the “getting-to-know-you” period. However, that period never seemed to get better. In reality, it got worse.
The culmination was her announcement, in September, 2004, that she wanted to live on her own with the kids. I was shocked – but probably not that surprised because her behaviour was markedly-different to even her “jai rorn” mode. Still, in some ways, I was glad that it had finally come to this. I was now free to go back to Thailand (without her). So that is just what I did.
Time has taught me quite a few lessons during and after my time with my Natalise – the most valuable one being do not tolerate any crap. No matter how good the sex may be or how strongly you imagine you love her … once the crap begins, just walk away for good. Certainly never marry with a woman unless you know her moods are stable – and mostly this does not show until you have shared quite some time together <Good advice, and oh so true – Stick>. Having weathered the storms of three marriages and survived intact, I would advise against ever getting married. Marriage seems to put the kybosh on any relationship … and having children would have to be the death knell to the relationship. Of course there will be some who disagree with this statement … but ignore it at your own peril. I was talking with an American woman only a few nights ago – and she said to me “Who in their right mind would want to be saddled with little brats dragging you down?” Oh, if only I had met her before my first marriage.
Of course, this attitude would not float well with The Christian Community – particularly in this “joyous season” of Christmas. For some reason, there is an attitude, within certain sectors of society, that says it is selfish not to want children. Please, pretty-please – call me selfish. Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful to be lucky enough to find a nymphomaniac who also liked a bit of lesbian sex that I was allowed to be part of. Could we also throw in that she also owns a pub. That really is dreadful to even think that, isn’t it? Still, honesty is always the best policy … isn’t that what “they” always say? Can someone also tell me who the fxxx “they” are? How do we know “they” are suitably-qualified to advise others?
So let us transport this mindset to Thailand and see if it will work in The Land Of Smiles.
Well, it didn’t work for me – the first time, at least. Probably that was because I was a dumb-ass “Newbie” back then. Sure, I had virtually memorised The Lonely Planet Guide To Thailand – I could have been Joe Cummings’ doppelganger – and I had some experience with a few Thai girls in my home city back then. Remember this … “You are never safe”. Do you want to know why? The answer is “Because you are you”.
Now, chronologically, 4 years have flashed past (no, it wasn’t that fast) and it is late November 2004 and here I am in The Rose Of The North – Chiang Mai, the Lanna Capital.
What I am about to write will destroy what I have just laid out as a blueprint for survival in Thailand’s love stakes. You can take it from me … nothing is ever for sure. She was special … I mean really special … and I was totally overpowered. There was no “getting-to-know-you” period – it was as if we had known each other for a very long time. I had played music in bands for a large part of my life and played around with ladies quite a bit as well – but nothing, prior to that night in Chiang Mai, was equal to that meeting.
We lived together for almost the next year – and I would have married with her for certain if I had been divorced – something that would not happen until February 2006. I would have been overjoyed to have had a little daughter with her – but I guess that was not in the cards. The point I am making is that nothing is set in stone. No matter how resolute one is on a particular belief – something can happen to reverse what you believed in so strongly. We lasted together until 2007 – but protracted absences from Thailand from 2007 until 2010 delivered the Coup de grace. It is over but never forgotten.
I saw a quote from Paul Simon that he gave in an interview: “I wouldn’t change anything … even the mistakes”.
What a wonderful attitude to have.
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