Stickman Readers' Submissions July 13th, 2016


I acknowledge that these observations may display an overly romantic or charmed view of things. The mood comes and goes, and is balanced by regular bouts of homicidal impulse, owing to others' behavior, or too much coffee.

A few small vignettes of life on the streets of Bangkok.

He Clinic Bangkok

Took a ride on a moto taxi. The driver, a Rubinesque cherub-faced, sweet-smiling yet gritty Thai lass, busy taking care of business on a Bangkok boulevard. I hopped on and wrapped my legs round' some ham hock sized Thai thighs and enjoyed a smooth ride. A slight sweat of arousal was on as we motored down a midday smoldering Bangkok soi…. Coulda rode her the day long.

An incidental and impressive sight along the way was the one-armed scooter delivery driver pulling up alongside, weaving and bobbing through traffic like a pro…..a picture worth a thousand words.

Another afternoon, whilst ambling along lower Sukhumvit, there happened a lad of 5-ish who, with one hand firmly gripped by mom, was walking (being dragged by mum) just a few paces ahead of me. You've seen this. Buck-tooth, wide-eyed kid, head on a swivel, tethered to mum by his/her overstretched arm, legs just barely functioning as such, mind totally unattached to moms urgent agenda.

CBD bangkok

As we passed one of the street vendor touts, said tout calls out to the lad.

Apparently, some kind of provocation. Who knows what he said, given the neighborhood. They seemed familiar with one another, as Thais often do.

A few steps further along and young lad turns around, still being dragged along by oblivious mum. Working his free hand and fingers for a moment, struggling, as he lurches along, he finally manages to issue a most impressive, one finger salute towards his antagonizer, with an equally impressive scowl. I was surprised and taken aback. Taking notice of my reflexive verbal guffaw and hoot of admiration at his efforts and self regard, said lad then looks at me and politely waves with a child's beaming and gentle open faced Thai smile. Fxxxing priceless!

At a BTS stop a young Farang fellow gets on with his Thai girlfriend. As we approach the next stop, girlfriend wraps her arms around young Farang's waist in a warm farewell embrace, as she prepares to exit. Two happy and glowing young lovers, she not observably a working girl. Just then I notice a goofball looking man standing close by, watching these two embrace. He whispers, with a big grin on his face, to his Big Bertha, dour looking wife (I assume) who is standing just in front of him, what seems to be a suggestive or furtive remark as to the how and why of young lovers happiness. Could have been just snide gossip too…. who knows. Wifey, is quickly dismissive of husband's suggestive remark, feigning displeasure at his words, yet, a small smile appears on her face, as husband gurgles, knowing he has hit his mark. Again….priceless.

wonderland clinic

Struggling with consciousness and forward momentum at Don Meuang one fine morning, as I marched through the security parade, a young female security screener puts her hand on my derrière, with near imperceptible lightness of touch and gentle familiarity, encouraging me on through the security machinery of civilized transport. A lovely gesture with a delicateness we don't experience back home.

Back home, a flashing light and a whaling siren would blind and blare and a SWAT team would taser and tackle me and she would file sexual harassment charges. I would be convicted of crimes against humanity be labeled a sex offender and have to wear a tracking collar. She would write a book about the dehumanizing experience and how it took her years of therapy and tumult to be whole again. Okay maybe the last paragraph is a bit much.

Back to the trenches of lower Sukhumvit, on yet another sun baked afternoon. There appeared two youngish fellows, ambling along eagerly. Visually striking in that both required crutches, as they both appeared to be stricken with some kind of palsy. This making their physical movements difficult and ungainly, their limbs flailing to and fro as they negotiated the sidewalk.

Everyone has a bout with these sidewalks even with perfectly functioning limbs. Can you imagine it with crutches?

They both seemed quite up and at it in attitude, with very purposeful intent. No doubt their walk was made easier by having each other, and looking forward to some female attention not had back home perhaps?

It would be one explanation for their eager pace, given the neighborhood.

At a fav eatery whilst chewing the fat with western acquaintances in attendance, a fellow Farang walks through the door with his latest girl. According to the aforementioned peanut gallery, he has gone the computer dating route.

Misogynist blather ensues amongst us all concerning the local female population and their feminine whiles and ways. The conversation includes the virtues of his current arm candy, with him joining in liberally because, well, she doesn't understand a damn word we are saying ( seems a bit sick and pathetic taking this advantage, but strangely enjoyable at the same time). It seems reminiscent and as offensive as a gaggle of western women as they oft do this to us at home.

"I can't say it's any cheaper than going with the pros", says he at one point.

Elucidating further, he reveals that there is always the rent she's having trouble paying, a sick buffalo, a sick father, or a brother having had a motorcycle accident, for which the treatment of his injuries requires paying for. These and other "emergencies". Suggesting of course, that he is expected to pony up for his fun. Sigh… TIT.

After sidling up to a down market massage establishment one balmy night, and being rushed by the more vociferous of the line up, an impish shy smile and knowing glance from the back row, made my choice. I always tell myself to take more time and have a good long perusal of the talent pool. It still seems a bit of an unnatural if not pressured moment, choosing one gal to shag the bejesus out of, over all the others.

As we made our way to one of the establishments chambers of erotic delights, complete with old bedsheets for curtains, my antennae and senses were busily engaged in measuring the situation with regards to what hotness existed, noting her gait, proportions, age, looks, etc.

As we engage in the pre coitus motions, getting undressed, chit chat, shower, etc, my heart is sinking a bit, by becoming acutely focused on her age and the effects wrought upon the female form by it. The garish light of this Bangkok bordello reveals a distinctly older lady, with the slight dragon lady etchings that come with age, apparent behind her makeup, and a fairly large (for here) caboose following her around.

Unhappily adjusting my expectation whilst admonishing myself for not picking better, I settled in for what ever was to be, 'Mai pen rai,' and make the best of it.

A nice massage ensued which turned into an awesome massage. She displayed a bit of nervousness with her laughter but stepped up to the plate at my direction as she really worked out the aches and pains of existence.

The coitus turned out to be an unexpected session with a sensitive, experienced and mature lover. A no nonsense courtesan, she directed the band with sure footedness, and whether act or not, convinced this old goat of her wonton desire if not desperation, thereby inspiring impassioned efforts on my part.

Some bemoan the lack of humanity, xenophobic prejudice, mind numbing stupidity, inanity and obtuse ness, in this land, with rightful examples a plenty. Coming here from the land of the war on terror, the war on drugs, the war on sex, cops killing civilians and civilians killing cops, mass shootings, Guantanamo, Dick Cheney George Bush, a metastasized military industrial complex, citizen spying, and Donald fuck Trump for Prez, etc etc, makes this place seem darn near civilized at times. There are many moments here that humor, surprise, and are quite sweet and rich with humanity.

nana plaza