Readers' Submissions

My 12-Day Excursion to Thailand

  • Written by Anonymous
  • May 25th, 2016
  • 10 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok




But first a response to Ranb: B 12/5/16

Quote:

Since the 1990's I've found that if a girl asked me to strip down completely for a massage, she was not going to be asking if I wanted a tug afterwards. If I left my boxer shorts on and she said nothing, there was a good chance she was going to be “accidentally on purpose” touching me and asking for a tip for that happy ending or more.”

**** Why didn’t/don’t you say (explicitly) at the beginning of the massage, that you don’t want anything of a sensual nature and don’t strip down… easy, and saves confusion, pay upfront and walk out afterwards (or tip her is she has done a good professional job).

Quote:

“Nude or not, an expertly performed oil massage is superior to a boring one with a happy ending in my opinion.”

**** Ahhh (Maybe for you) probably not an opinion shared by many gents. Only very few gents in Thailand would be into this; unless they have a therapeutic need.

If you are after 100% legit massage; do your research… maybe a referral from Wat Po.

Let’s look at the types of massage available:

1. Massage at a parlor (fellow goes in and asks for a HJ without massage … extremely crass (at least have some massage to give the girl some semblance of being a professional)
2. Boring massage followed by happy ending (many fellows would be happy enough with this arrangement).
3. Expertly performed massage without happy ending (needs research before hand; but sometimes therapeutically good, mostly women would be in Thailand for this)
4. Expertly performed massage with expertly performed happy ending (most men would be here for this OR (2) above.

Reminds me of a massage shop I went to in my part of the world. I was being massaged by a lovely Chinese girl. All of a sudden there was loud commotion a couple of cubicles down from me. The girl asked this old guy if he required a happy ending. He loudly yelled NOOOOOOOOOO. He was very indignant, and the head lady had to come in and calm this precious idiot down.

When it happened I thought to myself “you effing old goat, you greatly embarrassed this poor girl… dear oh dear, his precious sensibilities were offended”… PRICK !!.. a polite no thank you would have sufficed… this is her way of making a few extra measly dollars AND …..save him from developing RSI (repetitive strain injury) … to your own wrist; whilst standing in front of the mirror..

If RanB would like to once again look at the last sentence of my submission.

Viz:… Moral of the story: Go where you definitely know, that you will get what you want, for the best and fairest price! It’s your hard earned cash, you owe it to yourself.

That equally applies to legit and not so legit massage … anywhere…. OK.

Having arrived a the Dream Hotel soi 15 Sukhumvit late Friday afternoon, checked in and after freshening up I took a stroll around the area. The frenetic traffic was certainly an assault to my senses. But I soon got used to it.

At the junction of Sukhumvit road and soi 15 is a massage shop with a few girls outside. I’d stopped to check out the prices on the menu board. Prices quoted were 500 B for an oil massage (my favorite) or 250B for a tradition Thai massage. I tried to bargain but was met with resistance with no latitude allowed (do these shops all send smoke signals to each other regarding prices?). It was just some practice in bargaining because B500 = $20AUD (very cheap).

Now, the traditional Thai massage is not my favorite, as no oil is used and many times you are requested to slip on a pair of shortie pajamas.

Of course this is partially for the comfort of the fellow, but more the case is that in a naked state; the poor girls don’t want to be scandalized; if the “one eyed trouser snake rears its ugly head” ….at an inopportune time during the massage sequences.

Then the massage begins, with the person being twisted, stretched and contorted to within an inch of his life.

Tremendous scientific use of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd order of leverages by these tiny girls.

You do feel great afterwards (but plenty of moaning and gnashing of teeth during the massage; in sympathy to the level of pain elicited). It is quite therapeutic though.

As I was quite fatigued I decided not to indulge in massage this evening.

Walking further towards Nana, soi 11 looked a lot more promising as there were many places of interest.

Prices start at B400 for oil massage, particularly near a little supermarket on the right hand side of soi 11…. walking up from Sukhumvit road.

It had gotten dark so time to find an eatery on soi 11.

After a delicious Thai meal, back to the hotel, a few drinks and some people watching in the lobby… many gents with there with part-time girlfriends; walking hand in hand. Ahh… what a touching sight (ain’t love grand).

Funnily, I only saw a couple of youngish fellows here with their girls.

Maybe this hotel was beyond their budget.

Woke up after a well deserved sleep and a hearty included breakfast; at the hotel. Time to have a look around the area once again.

About a 7 minute walk was Robinson’s department store and Terminal 21 both right near Asoke station.

What a spectacle when entering Robinson's at opening time; with all these nubile young shop assistants wai-ing you as you enter. I was sort of embarrassed at this treatment.

I didn’t find Robinson's anything extraordinary, but entirely a different story when entering the wonders of Terminal 21 shopping complex.

My goodness what a sight to behold, with the many boutique shops, the different themes on each level (Italy, San Francisco, Paris etc). And the open plan food areas are great; basically you want for nothing here in the complex.

It was now early afternoon and time to sample some goodies

So, a brisk walk to soi 11 and an arcade with a few massage shops that I noticed yesterday. <In my opinion, you will be hard-ressed to find a bunch of uglier women anywhere in the country than that alley; it is truly horrid!Stick> As I walked along an attractive lady, Mai is her name, (names changed to protect the guilty) about 35 years old grabbed my arm and asked if I want massage “only B400”. I took my time responding, glanced left to another shop which caused her to say “OK for you B300 for 1 hour oil massage”.

She moved me with such gusto that I had this wind swept look. Not a pleasant sight, as I am quite threadbare upstairs.

So, quick shower lay on the table naked with bum pointing upwards.

She starts what was the beginning of a pleasant sensual massage.

Not long into it “scuz me sir”… you want special? … “How much”…” I do you for B2000 total”.

Well she did me alright… my oh my…..these ladies have very strong legs and precise balancing… for a full 50 minutes.

Deed expertly done, shower, hugs and kisses and off I go; with a stupid grin on my face.

My next exploit the following day was along the soi adjacent to Terminal 21; off Sukhumvit Road.

I noticed some promising places there.

So, I stroll along late in the afternoon and was greeted by a bunch of ravishing creatures beckoning me to come there. There was a very beautiful one, which led the crowd and seemed to be attracted to me. Man she was something… as I approached her she said “you want massage with me”….: in a masculine voice!… bugger me it was a lady-boy.

I was rather shocked and politely said no thank you, I’ll go inside the shop.

I quickly selected this nice looking girl (Noi) 20 – 30 year old (who knows their ages)… with a very nice petite figure.

A 1 hour massage was B500, which I agreed to and was led up about 3 flights of stairs. There were a whole load of girls ??? exercising on some beds; as I walked up the stairs…. And I casually asked them “exercising” ?? The response was “no sexercising”.

Ok, Noi and I are in the massage room same deal as before shower, lay on the massage table naked with my bum up. She starts on me and about 15 minutes into the massage I hear some unwrapping, (I thought Noi was getting fresh towels out).

Well no, she hopped on me straddling my back, then laid on top of me with firm titties digging into my back. Then she nibbled on my ear and said: F*ck” more as a statement than a question.

Hummm…. “How Much”,,,, “B2000”…. “No, B1500”… then the bullshit starts…. “You hansum man, B2000”,… “No, B1500” …” No, B2000 you have plenty money”.

“You hansum man”…”I said where, where”… surely she is not referring to me.

Anyhow what the heck.

Again, very strong leg muscles and this lovely girl thought she was a cowgirl. I hoped she didn’t have a branding iron or spurs hehe.

Deed done, we shared some intimate moments in the shower together; each giving a good lathering.

Again hugs, kisses and heartfelt goodbyes.

Sunday, time to leave The Dream Hotel in Sukhumvit.

A taxi fetched by the door man, a tip given, and off to the Aetas Hotel at Lumpini.

What a magnificent hotel.

Being Sunday I reconnoitered the area for something to eat; which was satisfied by a 7 / 11 store nearby.

Now when you exit the Aetas, first soi on the right are many massage places. Funnily, the first few had some Thai gents outside playing cards together.

As it was time for another encounter I thought I’d give one of the shops a go.

I was greeted by a very friendly middle aged Thai fellow; with an excellent command of English and I asked for a massage by a girl.

Yes, “no problem sir” … will get her; she will be here in 5 minutes

Ahn was a nice mature lady about 45 years old.

The massages here were B550, agreed upon and again escorted to a quiet room upstairs.

No shower, as I had just had one in the hotel. Lay on the table butt naked. I took the opportunity to ask what all the men were doing downstairs. Well apparently there is a large gay population around Lumpini and they service them here.

This older lady did an excellent sensual massage, with absolutely accidental touching….. sure !

I was so relaxed. “Ok turn around sir” …close to my finishing time.

She gets some hot towels to clean the oil off…. Flicking my kransky from one side to the other; to get the oil off from around my groin.

By this action, kransky is well and truly heading towards the sun; defying the force of gravity.

With her left hand on it like a vice grip, she whispers B1000…. Then, corrects herself no B500.

Well under the circumstances who could say no. That vice grip was not about to let go.

What a lovely lady she was… but she kept saying she would like to live in Australia….. hummmmm. I wonder why ?.

Bye Byes once again, escorted downstairs, the fellow asks “You Happy”.. come and see us again soon.

To be continued…