From USA – My View

Hi. My name is Bill.

I am born, raised and live in New York City. I find that the scams and the way people act aren't generic to Thai women. You can count Russians, Filipinas and just about anyone here in our fine city. The thing is to keep your head on a swivel.

Recently, I dated a woman from Jersey City (white and Italian), who as it turns out is out of her mind, a total liar and a scam artist. In the year and half we dated, she told me she had put her past behind her – she was what you call a "Club Kid" (look that up on YouTube and Michael Alig). She owns a salon in Jersey City, but she's a weed head, a drinker, and who knows if she went back to doing coke? I was in love with her – deeply, and so I contributed time, effort and money to the salon. She opened a vintage clothing store in the salon, so naturally it was me who funded the store and sourced the clothing. I bought some of the equipment in the salon. Well, wouldn't you know it, just when I was ready to move to Jersey City and propose, she ran away. That was on Halloween of all days – October 31. And she took my money and in the brief exchanges we had over a two-day period in December, she claimed she didn't owe me a penny. She said I insisted on giving her the money and was bullying her to get it back. She even called my mother to complain. Now mind you, I never, ever raised my voice to her. Not once, not ever. So in the six months since this happened, I have had zero contact with her. You want to talk about someone who knew exactly what she was doing? Yup, that's her. And her temper and jealousy are off the scale. So the scams aren't limited to any ethnic group. In Queens, a conversation with a Filipina goes like this: You: "Maganda" (you are pretty). She: "Salmat" (thank you). She: "Louis Vuitton?". It means if you ain't got the money to buy me an LV purse, then leave me alone and go talk up one of the Latinas. There are scams around ever single corner whether you are in New York City or Bangkok.

So my story is a little different. I was supposed to take my ex- to London over the summer to see the Rolling Stones exhibit and I knew this wouldn't happen, that reconciliation would never happen, so in December I fulfilled a dream and went to Bangkok. So I got to my hotel room at 2:30 AM, showered quickly, and since I was near Nana Plaza, I went out. All the bars were closed, and I was stared down by every ladyboy, but I sat at a pop up bar on the Sukhumvit and the "mamasan" – the bar owner – saw me crying and offered me a drink. One of the locals off in the corner didn't enter the conversation until I invited her over to talk and join the mamasan and her waitress. We spoke for about three hours. So as the sun was coming up, I said "I need to go shower and get some sleep" to which she said "I'll come with you." In my mind I'm thinking "Shit, 3 hours in Bangkok and I'm being played already." So, she came over and it didn't cost me a dime. In fact, besides paying for a few cheap meals, and drinks, the only thing I bought her was a bathing suit, which we bought at Robinson's – a pretty inexpensive store. Ee stayed in touch until I came back in February for my birthday. She met me right at the hotel. She did get very drunk a couple of times and went into a rage thinking I asked her to go back to the street to work. She is from the east and has kids and they live back east. One day she took me to where she lives which is near Chinatown. I was stunned by the poverty. Just absolutely stunned by what I saw. So when she got mad again one night, I could see tears of desperation in her eyes. She's late 40s and I'm early 50s, so I get it. She says she loves me, and after being burned so many times here in the U.S., I'm never going to be in love again. I miss her, and I am trying to get her a visa. I just can't see a person living under those conditions. <Be careful of falling for someone out of pity for their situation. I saw this happen many times in Thailand when Western men seemed to take on this knight in shining armour persona; it almost always ends in tears – Stick>

So what does the future hold? I don't know. Falling in love with someone you have been physically near 10 times is dangerous. Maybe I am a meal ticket out of poverty and despair. Maybe she really feels me. I don't know. One thing is for sure, I am not moving to Thailand. She says she wants to be with me under any condition, so I could see an arrangement where we live here 6 – 9 months a year and she goes back for 3 – 6 months and I come visit. Can and will I be burned? I don't know. Have I been asked for money? Yeah, no more than 10,000 baht, but she knows I wouldn't send more than 3,000 baht at a time. I did bring over used clothing for her and her kids and art supplies for her young daughter – vintage clothing like thin leather jackets she could sell to the motorcycle riders. I've done an internet search to see if there is anything on her and I've come up empty. And I told her that if she comes to New York, then she works – she's a great muay thai fighter and in NYC that brings in cash for private lessons.

I understand Thai customs are for the lady to take care of the man and the man to take care of lady, but I told her it doesn't work like that here. In fact, at the hotel she was going to take my shoes off and I said, "No, in my country, men and women are equal."

I'm not sure how this can wind up. Will I marry her? Will she adopt to NYC? Is this a scam? Will she run away once she has a visa? I don't know. Then again, I didn't know my ex would run away and never speak/contact me again.

Bottom line: I feel if I contribute even a little to get her to a better place, I've done my job. Anything after that is icing on the cake.