I Married A Ladyboy!
I am writing this after two years of going through something I thought never would have happened. Sometimes I still have a hard time believing it! It all started two years ago when I came home from my trip to Pattaya….
I spend a month in Thailand every summer and 2 weeks at Christmas time. The date was August 17th and I had arrived back at my friend’s house in my hometown. He is very familiar with my tendencies towards ladyboys and my past adventures. I remember telling him “I believe I am ready for a relationship with a ladyboy.” Well I have to watch my words.
The following evening I looked in the personals for my city. I am lucky enough to live in one of the largest cities in the world. I looked at the personals and sent a message to the first ladyboy I saw. Much to my surprise she responded immediately with a few emails. And then she wanted to talk to me and exchange pictures.
After talking on the phone for 45 minutes she wanted to meet me for a date. We met the following day for a movie. To be honest, when we met I was not too attracted to her. She was not my type because she was too pale…and I was not her type because I was too thin. But we had fun at the movie and then she asked me to return to her house and of course I said yes because being with a ladyboy in Thailand was no big deal anymore….but this was in my hometown!
So we went back to her house and spent the night together. It was pretty cool and I felt special. But about halfway through the evening I was looking on the Internet at her house and when the menu button scrolled down I saw a website that was advertising her escort services. At that time I was excited that I just got her for free when other men were paying her $300 an hour! I was quite proud of myself! I left early in the morning and sent her a message. She did not reply for 6 hours and I was losing hope. But that was ok since I had one night of fun!
Finally she responded and we set up another date. When we met for a second date she looked better to me. And as our relationship progressed her personality made her quite attractive to me. After a month I started to have feelings for her. I told my friend about these feelings and he warned me, “Pretty soon you will start getting hurt because she is having sex with other men for money.” I arrogantly dismissed his warnings. That was a mistake!
At that time I wrote a submission to Stickman about my experiences and he replied, “I’m curious about what your Christian family makes of you being in a relationship with a ladyboy…now what would make for a good read! How does one maintain a relationship with someone their family strongly disapproves of?”
A hell of a lot has happened since I initially wrote about my experiences with my special ladyboy, Nok. We dated for about 5 months and at that time she was still an escort. I no longer thought about getting a piece of ass for free. Then I started to obsess about other men being with Nok. And it really messed me up emotionally and physically. After about 3 months of laying in bed every night obsessing about Nok and other men I decided I could not do it anymore. And I told her she either had to quit or we were done! And much to my surprised she quit that night and has not returned to escorting. About one week later we got engaged. She met my son and everything was good. She was in contact with my family on Facebook and was developing a good relationship with everyone. But there was a secret…. My Nok was a ladyboy!
That was a lot emotional turmoil. I kept most of it inside my own head. That was a mistake! I started to talk to my friends about my anxiety (I have been blessed to have friends who know Nok is a ladyboy and accept her for who so she really is). I still had a lot of fear about telling my son and my family about Nok’s birth gender. But I was not going to keep it a secret because that means I am ashamed of the fact that Nok is a ladyboy. And I am not ashamed…. Actually I am very proud and I love it when people know she is a ladyboy and we are holding hands. I do not care what people think about me and Nok. But I was still worried about telling my family.
I told my teenage son first. And after I told him he looked at me and said, “Dad, if you are happy that is all that matters. Nok is a good person.” Relief!
As the wedding got closer I knew I had to tell my family. So I emailed my sister and told her the truth. And then I emailed my other sister. And lastly, I messaged my mother. And I waited for each one of their responses. As I read each response I cried because they all stated they accepted Nok and was happy I had found a good person to share my life with. So I obsessed and worried about this for over a year. And it was all a waste of time!
Now Nok and my family are great friends. Nok and my Ma lived together for 8 months while she waited for her green card and became like mother-daughter. My sisters and Nok are best friends now.
So I spent so long worrying about something that never happened. And just to let you know, my family is a strict Christian family and they accepted Nok because they saw her as a person, not a ladyboy!
This experience has changed my life. If you had asked me 20 years ago if I ever imagined myself being legally married to a ladyboy I would have laughed. But it has been a journey for myself and my family. I understand people are skeptical about the idea of being transgender. The vast majority of people still do not understand what it means to be transgender. And that is ok! I believe through education and experience people will change their attitudes. And this will take time.
The best example of this can be demonstrated with my sister who is a devout Christian. She was very much against homosexuality and transgender individuals before she met Nok. I was most hesitant about telling my younger sister. And initially she was cautious but after getting to know Nok as a person she considers her as a sister.
Nok and I do not have a traditional relationship and because of our pasts I think that would be an unreal expectation. By we do have a strong relationship built on trust and honesty.
I often ask myself if I knew about everything that has happened to me as a result of my relationship with Nok would I do it all over again? And I have to be honest and say I am not sure. I have a very wonderful person to spend the rest of my life with but I paid a price and have been emotionally scarred. My personality has changed. I believe over time I will return back to my old self. I strongly caution anyone from getting involved with a working girl. You will pay a larger price than just a couple thousand baht!
But life is pretty good these days and I do not have to live a secret life! I got pretty damn lucky!
Good for you for having the strength to both go through with this and to be open with your family. I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been. Long may the two of you be happy!
A quick note for the readers of this reader submission: Smooci is fast becoming the transexuals / ladyboys mongerers site of choice. It’s the world’s first genuinely live escort booking platform with gps tracking and verified reviews and ratings. The site is pretty big in Bangkok and has recently expanded to cover Manila, Singapore, and Hong Kong, with plans to launch in Pattaya and in Europe later this year.