Stickman Readers' Submissions December 18th, 2015

Back to Jakarta Part 5

I just arrived back in Jakarta last night after my visa run of over one week to Thailand. Unfortunately (but as I had expected) Thailand did not heal me from my depression and anxiety. As it is it might even have worsened my low feeling.

I got a lot of responses from my previous submissions. Some readers seem to think I am just joking and jesting but let me assure you, all I write is real and not a lie. It might be very hard to fathom and understand for most white guys holidaying or staying in Thailand or Indonesia but my situation is as it is and all what I have written is (unfortunately) real.

He Clinic Bangkok

I also managed to meet a few guys through my submissions in Bangkok, many thinks for meeting me and perhaps we can meet up another time again (hopefully I will be in better spirits then).

Back in Jakarta now and I have not been out of my room yet. I am actually developing a phobia to go out, just don't like to be confronted with the people I think and scared to see any western guys with their lovelies.

But there is no way to avoid seeing this. In my apartment alone half of the tenants are western guys and they walk in and out with their ladies.

CBD bangkok

I also just read the submission of Steve. He accurately describes the situation I think. Jakarta has changed tremendously over the years. Even compared with 2 and a half years ago it seems to be a completely new city, a new atmosphere and the people seem to have changed a lot also in those years.

I don't agree with Steve saying “Blok M is the place most expats hit after a night in the city”. There are now so many alternative clubbing and cafe areas in Jakarta (many much better then Blok M and where one can find more decent and much prettier ladies) that you actually see very few bule guys in Blok M nowadays, even in the weekend. Now more Arabs and black guys head over to the Blok M bars, the bule prefer Kemang, the Kuningan area, the Senayan area and the SCBD (Sudirman Central Business District) for clubbing and meeting girls over Blok M. Blok M bars are dying a slow death and that has been going on for at least 10 years now, soon a bule will be a novelty in any Blok M bar.

I spoke to another bule guy about this last night and he did not agree with me at all. He has been in Jakarta 4 years now and he told me it is even easier now to hook up with local girls compared with 2 years ago (I don't have to tell you what this did to my ego and mental state).

There is now an ever-growing segment of very beautiful classy looking girls in Jakarta. Often they have a naturally whiter skin then the so-called Indramayu type that hails from the provinces. They might have some Caucasian blood, or hail from Sunda or Manado or maybe they are Chinese Indonesian. Some indeed are a lot darker underneath then their complexion would let you believe. Many of these girls are tall nowadays. It's very common to spot this kind of girls in the upscale shopping malls (Grand Indonesia, Senayan) and they are often taller then I am. But of course they do wear high heels. Not all of these girls however have a very white skin, some are a bit darker, but they can still be classified as the Jakarta lookers.

wonderland clinic

I have never dared to approach such a girl and not once has one of these girls even glanced my way. They always exclude an air of haughtiness, arrogance (at least when they pass me) probably because they are seeking a male who is worthy of their class and beauty. You will probably find such girls in every capital city around the world, but in Jakarta there are very many of these girls to be found in the upscale venues and malls.

I think good-looking or very confident or rich and confident bule would still be able to get those girls (quite easily), because very often I see such a Cinderella walking hand in hand with a bule.

There is also a segment of girls in Jakarta that are referred to as “bule hunters” or more mainstream “gold-diggers”. The general (local) perception of these girls is that they are ugly (dark-skinned) and look like housemaids. The locals also say that “all of these girls only want money from bule guys”. Most of these girls however do look great in any guy's eyes. Most are long-haired, sultry, slim and sexy, alas dark skinned. Many local girls who are not getting many bule guys seem to be jealous with these girls and that seems one of the reasons they like to use derogatory vocabulary to describe those girls. (I recognise jealousy easily being a very jealous person myself).

Certainly not all the bule hunters look like housemaids. Many actually look very Cinderella to me, they could easily pass for a successful hot Jakarta girl, but they will still be termed ugly and housemaid by the bule hunter wannabes, and some jealous local guys.

These bule hunters could be looking for money but mostly they look for a bule boyfriend for a myriad of other reasons also. The reasons can be some of the following:

1) They are in love with Western culture and by having a western boy they feel like they have a slice of western culture for themselves.

2) They don't like local guys because they find them narrow-minded, they like Western guys because of their open mindedness.

3) They want a Western guy to take care of their (financial) needs.

4) They genuinely find Western guys more handsome then local guys.

5) They have one or more kids from a local guys and because of that local guys are not interested in them anymore.

It is easy for bule to meet these girls in (central) shopping malls, cafes that cater to expats or clubs. In Blok M you find a more money-oriented type of bule hunter. The girls there are mainly only looking for a bule that can supply them with point number 3.

In Kemang where I am staying there is actually a concentration of Bule hunters. Simply because this area is an expat area, many western people are staying in Kemang so this area naturally attracts the bule hunters (especially in the weekends). Kemang has a large concentration of cafes and clubs and these are the places the bule hunters will be found especially in the weekends.

Still, it does need some skill and balls to approach such a girl and to get her, and there is a lot of competition from other bule. Anyway, I did not manage to even attract one of these girls so far.

I have spent altogether quite some years in Indonesia and do speak the language quite fluently. Still, I don't know much about the goings on because I have never been submerged into the scene. I have never met many local people in all these years and the dealings I have had have mostly been very short and shallow. I also have not hung out much with the middle class or upper class crowd as most bule do. If a bule has an upper class girlfriend or for example a lot of upper class Indonesian friends a whole new world will open up for that bule, and he will learn a lot about what is really going on in Jakarta.

There are a lot less Westerners living or holidaying in Jakarta compared to Bangkok, but in spite of that a bule is no longer a novelty in Jakarta. It is still as easy as breathing (for most Western guys) to get local girls, but that is because their confidence has skyrocketed once they found out they are perceived as sex symbols, and movie stars in Jakarta, whereas in their native country they are probably invisible to the local girls. I wish the same had happened to me but the opposite has happened in my case.

It has always been like that from the beginning. As soon as I found out a bule was a hot commodity in Indonesia I have felt some kind of pressure to get girls, this pressure has made me nervous, unsure and always jealous with the other bule guys who did not feel any pressure but were just living the dream and taking advantage of their status.

I have never been able to take advantage of my “buleness”. Finally resulting in a depression from where it is totally impossible to even talk to a girl.

I have had better times in the past, I have had times I felt more secure (but I have always suffered from low confidence) and in those times I could get some girls but never a lot, never as much as the average western guy in Jakarta got.

I hope I can get it back a bit, and if not maybe I have to think about going back to my own country.

Lets see what happens.

nana plaza