Stickman Readers' Submissions December 14th, 2015

Back to Jakarta (But Now In Thailand) Part 4

I went to Thailand on a visa run last Tuesday (8th December). The next day I brought my passport to the Indonesian embassy and they told me I could collect it again on Monday next week, so I decided to spend the rest of the week and the start of the new week in Pattaya, which I like better then Bangkok.

Now I was not hoping actually to find some lady from a beer bar or from wherever in Pattaya to keep me company and to ease the tension and loneliness a bit, but in the deep recesses of my mind there was a small glimmer of the faintest hope, you never know and we always keep hoping even against all odds and even if every time our hope is being shattered.

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But alas it is not to be. Right now it is Saturday evening when I am writing this, still in Pattaya and I know it will not happen, unless I go to one of the gogo bars and bring home a 5,000 baht short-time for which I am totally not in the mood because I know it will not help me, it might even worsen my depressed state.

But I have tried at least I did try.

1) The Beer Bars

Now the beer bars have never been my venues of choice in Pattaya to find my company for the night, but in the good old days when I was still ok and well they could actually sometimes be very fertile hunting grounds. I am talking about the late 90's early 2000's when I first came to Pattaya. I remember my first stay in Pattaya (1 week in 1999 or 1998 I don't remember that correctly anymore) where I found the girls very sexy and young and cute and often somewhat innocent (and I was used to cute girls having stayed in Jakarta already 3 years by that time).

Of course I was a lot younger then, and that does make a huge difference, I also hooked up very easily with other guys and it is always a lot better going in a small group of guys compared to going alone, when in Asia a farang goes alone to clubs, malls, or beer bars for that matter, he will always be viewed as a bit weird, a loner, maybe somebody who wants to be alone or somebody there is something wrong with.

It is ok to go out alone if you are very confident and outgoing, then there is totally no problem, but when you go alone and you are shy and not outgoing it might prove to be very difficult to even find a girl willing to talk to you.

Anyway, I did go to some beer bars alone this week in Pattaya and it was a weird experience. In most beer bars I was perfectly ignored by all the girls, in some other beer bars I would be approached by the oldest, fattest and ugliest girl present, who would plomp er plump ass on the seat next to mine and (within half a minute) ask me, if she could have a drink please.

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When I then replied her like “No, sorry tonight I drink alone” or something she would disappear faster than lightning.

Trying to approach the slim younger girls in the beer bars is a mission impossible for me. It is probably easier for me to build my own rocket and fly to the moon with it, these sexy girls just are not available to me, just like the young sexy Dutch girls in Holland are unavailable to me.

Here I want to make a bold claim: It is just as hard for me to get a youngish sexy bargirl in Pattaya as to get a young sexy Dutch girl in The Netherlands. And this is weird because in many beer bars I saw horrendously fat or very old farang hooking up with young sexy beer bar girls seemingly without any problem, and the girls actually look happy, as if they just shored a Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt lookalike. But truth be said, many of the young sexy beer bar girls go for the young sexy farang guys nowadays.

When I walk on the street in Pattaya I also see many old or very overweight farang guys with incredibly hot and sexy girls, I would say one out of two of these farang guys walk with a prize catch (at least body-wise).

So the beer bars are not doing it for me that leaves the next option:

2) The clubs/pubs.

Friday night (last night) I went to IBar in Walking Street (below Insomnia). I went there on the advice of a farang friend from The Netherlands who lives in Pattaya. I told him about my trials and tribulations with Indonesian and Thai girls and he told me, “go to IBar, if you can't score a nice girl there you must be uglier then a walking corpse because every farang gets a girl in IBar it is impossible to leave that place without a girl” . “And most of the girls in IBar are hot and pretty and not bargirls”. “What you have to do is order a bottle and a table.” Sit down, drink, dance, make eye contact with girls that you fancy and invite them to your table for a drink, you can't go wrong.

So I went to IBar and upon entering (around 12 PM) I immediately got a bit of an off vibe. Indeed there were countless girls (most of them very sexy very slim and much prettier then the beer bar girls), but there were also a lot of farang (mostly younger then me) so I immediately felt intimidated, both by the beauty of the girls and by the young farang.

Anyway I got my bottle and my table and sat down, looking at the proceedings around me. I saw many groups of Thai girls with a table and a bottle, and I saw those girls inviting farang guys to their tables (or they already had invited farang guys). I also saw farang guys trying to introduce themselves to groups of girls with a table (more often then not successfully). There were not so many farang guys with a table but I saw a few (about 3) and those tables resembled beehives, lots of girls trying to get introduced or the guys with a table trying (mostly successfully) to introduce girls to their tables.

Back to my lonely table: I had gotten my mixers (tonic and water) and the waiter that was assigned to my table was busy making mixers, expecting the girls would be coming to swarm my table any moment. But nothing of the sort happened, I was just left alone with all my mixers and my (now half empty) bottle of Vodka. Whatever I tried, making eye contact with girls passing by or trying to smile to girls standing not far from me, they would not respond. At one moment I even took a mixer and walked up to a nice looking girl standing with friends and offered her the drink. She shook her head and refused the drink, I then offered it to one of her friends who of course declined also.

I don't need to say how this all made me feel, suffice to say I did not feel very confident and happy anymore and I just sat down and drank alone. I danced a bit also (I am not a bad dancer, I used to be a hip-hop dancer and I have some training) but even that did not help to make girls attracted.

I then decided to get blind drunk, maybe that would make it easier. I finished way more. The bottle was actually getting pretty empty and I was getting blind drunk. I got bolder and more aggressive approaching girls, but of course being drunk makes it even harder because the girls don't like guys that are too drunk so I got even more firmly rebuffed and rejected as before. I ordered another bottle of Vodka (at this stage I did not care anymore), and finally a girl came (she must have seen my agony or maybe the lure of a fresh bottle was too much for her). She was by far not the sexiest/prettiest/youngest girl in IBar, I could still see that even in my very intoxicated state, but better then nothing I thought so I offered her mixers which she happily accepted.

We drank, danced and talked for a time, I was now so drunk that I actually needed to hold onto something to be able to stand or dance, otherwise I would keel over, I could feel the gravity pulling me. Talking also was very hard, I think she did not understand 95% of what I was saying, and likewise I did hardly understand one word of what she was saying.

Then an older farang guy came to our table, and the girl introduced me “Harry, this is my boyfriend XXX, is it ok if he joins us?' I did not even care anymore and said of course, drink as much as you like.

I went home around 5 AM and it is a miracle I got home in one piece actually but somehow I managed to find a baht bus and get back to my place.

So the clubs will not do it for me no matter how much bait I put on the table, the fish will not bite.

3) The Malls

I know the mall Central Festival in Pattaya (close to where I stay) is a very fruitful hunting ground for many a farang with mall hunting skills. Moreover, many of the girls visiting this mall are not your typical bargirl (they look like the girls in IBar), and it is also easy to hook up with shop workers if you know what you are doing. The problem is you need a mobile phone number or a WhatsApp (which I actually have) I don't have a Thai SIM card but with a wifi connection I can still use my WhatsApp.

So up to Central Festival. First step was going to the food court in the basement. Around 12 noon it is full of people eating and also of course lots of girls eating or prowling around, looking for….. whatever they are looking for (probably a farang for lunch).

Well I tried to make eye contact with girls in the food court, first while ordering my food and getting my ticket (in Cen. Fest you have to get a ticket to pay for your food) but nobody looked back, I saw some nice pretty girls but they ignored me as if I was invisible. I got my food, and looked for a place to sit down (preferably close to a group of nice looking girls). I did spot groups of girls sitting and close to one of the groups there was an empty table so I headed there. Sat down and started eating. There were 3 girls seated at 10 o'clock from me. 2 of them very cute not at all looking like or dressed as bargirls. Maybe from Bangkok or normal Pattaya girls with normal jobs (because these girls do exist in Pattaya). Now my French friend Bruno would have no problem introducing himself to these girls, it would happen automatically at one stage one or more of them would notice his interest and start flirting with him, but unfortunately I am not Bruno so nothing happened. The girls never once looked my way or noticed me, and I feel very awkward approaching girls that don't show any interest in me so I finished my plate and drinks and left the court.

I went for a walk through the mall and actually received some eye contact with a girl, but she was an older rough looking woman dressed in beach garb. Most likely a Beach Road girl that had wandered into the mall to fresh up a bit and hopefully get a John. So I quickly moved on and looked inside the shops. My friend Bruno likes to go into shops if he spots a nice sales woman, he always manages to give them his number and mostly they will call or message him the same evening asking for a meetup. But I was totally not in the mood for that (I just don't have the confidence ) I would not know what to say or how to make them interested enough in me to actually call or WhatsApp me, it would be a mission impossible also just like attracting slim and sexy girls in beer bars.

So I went back to my place and watched a DVD. What else can a man without a mission do?

Wednesday I will head back to Jakarta, I will be back in BKK next Monday so if somebody wants to hook up on Monday or Tuesday for a drink just contact me at:

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