Thai Girlfriend Advice
I'm an Asian male in my late 20s who loves going to Thailand for work and pleasure. Sometime last year I met this girl at RCA. We started out as friends but eventually got together after many more trips. Do note that I was under the impression that this is your normal Thai girl having a night out with her friends, and there was no suspicion on my part of her being anything else. I would like to think myself pretty savvy about the nightlife and the shady business that comes with it. She mentioned she was going to work at a G club when we were friends and I didn't think much of it. Even after we got together, I was fine with it. I have been to G clubs before and they're places where you pick a girl to party with and that's that. There's no ST or LT. If you got laid after a night there, it's because the girl really likes you.
My girlfriend doesn't work much. he's popular and has multiple ''loyal'' customers and would only go when she has a booking. You might think I'm blinded but she's truly a 9/10 in my eyes. Everywhere we go, not just in Thailand, even on holiday everyone is constantly telling me how pretty my girlfriend is. I have had many girlfriends in 4 different countries but she's honestly amazing. She's kind, has a homely mentality and even though she likes the finer things in life, she does not pressure me to buy her anything. She showed me a conversation on her phone once which pretty much has a customer offering to buy her a condo and car in exchange for her becoming his girlfriend. She rejected that client outright. In her bank book, there's salaries of sometimes 50k baht but mostly 100 – 150K baht. Those transactions are made the same day every month, transferred by the club.
One day, she got home late and drunk after work and we quarreled. Eventually, she said she would not work if I don't like it and she would move back home. We discussed in detail how much money she would need and the figure comes up to 30K baht per month. It's an amount I can afford and so she went home even though she can continue to stay in Bangkok and earn 4 or 5 times more. A few months later, I went to her home and I loved it. I repeatedly explained to everyone that even though I earn a decent salary I am not rich and still have a long way to go. Everyone accepted it and mom even said not to worry about anything and just take good care of her daughter. I should probably add that there's no suspicion, no strange males or kids hanging around during both of my 2-week trips. Next thing you know, I brought her home too and my family loves her.
I eventually bought a ring and proposed. We talk 2 – 3 hours on the phone everyday without fail and during one of these conversations I asked about her ''employment history''. She didn't lie and said everything without hesitating. She was in fact working at G clubs for more than a year. This I can live with. What I can't accept, however, is that she said she also worked as a hostess at Soi Thaniya for 2 – 3 months when she first came to Bangkok. The money was little and G clubs are a lot more fun so she switched. I went online, searched for Thaniya and I LOST MY FUCKING MIND. Because that's Patpong 2, the Japanese karaoke street that is their equivalent of Nana Plaza.
Here's where I need your help, Stick. I cant find any info about Thaniya except it's a Japanese gogo street with karaoke and restaurants. I know that ST and LT are available there because I have been there myself in the past. But my girlfriend is insisting she has never went on a ST before which is the reason why she left that job – her salary / lady drinks were next to nothing. She worked there because a friend did and being new to town, she just tagged along for rent money. She got scared when customers insist on barfining her even though the mamasan specifically told them which girls are not barfineable. Nowhere on the internet can I find an article that specifically says there are ladies who only drink with you at Soi Thaniya. All I can find out is, it's Patpong 2 and you pay for pussy there. I am freaking out here! Is this like a coyote? They drink with you but don't do any P4P? Please advise!
Before knowing all this, it's like I was in a dream. Here's this lovely girl who's also kind and down to earth, without the baggage of a typical poor Thai family. In fact, I'm living my dream. There's no drama, fights and suspicion at all. She told me about her past flings and ''giks'' and I was fine with that too. I wasn't that much of a good boy either and what you did when you are single is entirely up to you. I know and believe she is what she says she is today and is faithful to me. After knowing about it though, I suddenly woke up. The way I was raised and educated, you don't marry a girl who worked at a hostess. You stay the fuck away from them. I have to lie to my friends and family about her job even though she insisted on not doing so. I have to give her money every month. I have to endure long fights just to see her. And now I have to live with the fact that, she might have been a whore. These are things that I never have to worry about if I had just married an equal or just any local girl. On one hand, I might be such an asshole to doubt my fiancé when she said she just worked for drinks during that 2 months, she didn't even need to let me know. On the other, everyone wants to believe that their girlfriend is in that 5% minority (she said 95% goes) who works there and doesn't sleep with customers, and how many of us are right?
Am I supposed to believe her, drop her past and love her for who she is now? Can I really marry a whore? I'm losing my fxxxing mind.
Stickman's thoughts:
I would suggest you re-read your own words in the second to last paragraph. It starts off with this piece of wisdom, "what you did when you are single is entirely up to you" but after that it goes downhill fast and gets progressively worse and goes on to show that you look down on this lady because of her past. My advice to you is simple: Cut her free and let her find a man who will love her, warts and all. You're never going to love her the way a wife wants to be loved and you may struggle to ever get her past out of your mind. That's your right, of course, but at the same time it's not fair on the lady. If you cannot overcome another person's past and are always going to hold it against them (even if it is only in your own mind) then do the right thing and cut them free and let them find someone who can love them unconditionally.
