Readers' Submissions

Note to Hua Hin Harry

  • Written by BAH
  • November 2nd, 2015
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



Unlike Fester, I've found the contents of your diary highly entertaining and have laughed out loud frequently while reading. Thank you, Harry! I'm comparing some of your experiences to my own of course, which adds to the fun and to my understanding of your whole catastrophe.

I am a yearly visitor to Thailand for the last 10 years, living 3 times for 6 months, other times for 3 months, and lesser periods. During that time I've been actively learning the language (am not anywhere near fluent, at 71 years old probably won't ever be), and have been actively making out with various women, never bar girls though – typically teachers, beauty shop people, last year an accountant, as well as the occasional massage lady of course (have done several massage courses at Wat Po, and found this to be really good fun and a nice way to meet genuine ladies). But except for this year I have never actually stayed for more than a coupla nights or so in anyone's house, or had a woman living in my house for much more than that. This year it was different and I was welcomed into a house in Bangkok, stayed for over two weeks, and liked the experience a lot – the woman was a very hard worker (still employed at a business in Bangkok after 30 years there and rarely sitting down when home), organised and particular as well as communicative – maybe just the type for Harry!

All this time I've been soaking up 'Thainess' (an over-used catchword in recent times) as much as possible and 'testing' myself regarding the idea of finding and partnering up with a suitable woman. Just recently here in Australia I 'endured' the visit of a Thai woman – a friend but never anything more – in fact my first Thai language teacher. Over the years I have called in on her once or twice per visit to catch up on the Thai politics of the time – she's a political being and red, although sees herself as a hi-so – graduated in economics from the best university in Bangkok (I've been reminded of that many times). I volunteered to show her around in Australia. She's the type of woman who readily admits to having to learn to cook when she went to America years ago with her son (so that he could have a western education). This backs up her hi-so claim, as this type of person normally doesn't need to learn how to cook – cooking is work for someone else of lower class. <If she was genuine hi-so she wouldn't need to cook; she'd have more than enough money to be able to eat out all the time – Stick> She was however totally fixated on money (no surprise) and although agreeing prior to the visit to share expenses, the notion of give and take was not her view of things and this lead to several quite torrid arguments (which I definitely didn't need). She was the stereotypical sponge type – taking but little giving in return. The first (and only) time she fronted up to wash the dishes in my house she couldn’t go through with it because the sink was 'dirty'. Didn't volunteer to clean it though. I managed to pack her off to Sydney by herself as soon as possible. This visit was the first time I've had the company of a Thai woman in my home country – hmm, I'll need to be more circumspect about future liaisons of that nature.

As an aside, the Chinese girls coming to Australia currently (in droves) on student visas are often from the class where learning to cook and do housework is not something the parents teach – they are the product of an Asian culture which seems to actively work against the acquisition of such knowledge – to have it presumably means that you are low class (my take on it anyway). I have met several who fit this category (and none that don't fit the category) – their reason for coming is primarily to ensnare an Aussie resident. One succeeded with my stepson (now married) after two who didn't. I met them, lovely girls, but useless in the house! (Willing to learn though).

Thai women I have met on-line – various sites – this has been largely a positive experience. Some real duds for sure, but then I guess they get to meet some real dud dudes also. Some who don't show up to an arranged meeting at all (and don't let you know they're not coming, very annoying) and some where the pic is nothing like the actual reality – airbrush treatment. But generally they have been good people. One problem I found with TLL (or whatever it is now, I know it changed its name) was that even though I canceled my membership, my pic and profile was still actively being shown some 6 years later – in fact my girlfriend last year found me there (we found each other on DateInAsia). I contacted them and gave them a blast – they removed it. Harry, watch that!

Sometimes the Thai woman’s behaviour was totally weird – for example leaving me alone in her house in an isolated area for 4 hours while she visited a friend. She left the house at 5 PM, not a skerrick of food in the place, only water in the fridge. Do you treat guests like that? No, and in fact to her I was a prospective husband as well. Blew me away. I left the next day. Another example is an aspect of how Thai culture affects the relationship was the inability to meet the family – total prohibition – this even existed with a successful business woman of 50 years old. I can understand that with younger women, but at 50? And yet for some other women – a total non issue, and along the way also I have met some very generous people. Thai Friendly was good, as was DateInAsia – mostly Filipinos – a lot of Filipinos working overseas in Hong Kong and Singapore – I met a gorgeous woman in Singers one time on a visa run from Thailand, excellent value as they are somewhat worldlier.

But like Harry – did I meet one who totally filled the bill? Maybe one or perhaps two! In fact I try to be generous with the 'fill the bill' notion as I know there is not one person who is perfect, not even me! What I need is someone who wants to give and take and can see reason. And bringing a Thai lady to Australia adds further dimension to the puzzle.

So Harry, good luck and please don't give up – if only to keep up with the selfless entertainment of fellow Stickmanites!!