Stickman Readers' Submissions October 3rd, 2015

Thai Ladies, Do Yourself A Favour

As you have probably worked out from the title, I'm gonna be writing about my experiences with women in Thailand. I don't want too sound like I'm being disrespectful to the ladies who work in the industry, but through many encounters I've pretty much made up my own assumptions about getting involved with these such ladies.

Now don't get me wrong here, I have befriended many barladies in the past and am still on good sociable terms with some of them. Most of these ladies are, despite what they do, pleasant good-natured & friendly women.

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I'm not stupid enough too think any of these ladies would not want to take things further, but I just present myself in such a way that when in their company, they read the signals and know I'm just not the kind of guy who is gonna get sucked in easily.

Things however changed for me when I started to chat to a lady online on one of the dating sites. This Lady who comes from the northern town of Nongkhai made me see things from a very different perspective. This lady is a typical mainstream Thai woman. She works full time at a local hospital, is moderately educated, lives at home with family and everything is as what you would expect. NORMAL!

The things that struck me most as I got to know this lady more is that her thought process was obviously different from your average bar woman. The honesty and trust issue stands out the most because she has no reasons to hide anything from me.

She has told me everything about herself and her role in Thai society and Buddhism as a woman. The past relationship with a Thai man and the reasons why it ended, pretty much not that dissimilar to the goings on in our own countries. NORMAL!!

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But I think most of all what does it for me with this lady is the comfort of being in contact with a normal Thai woman. We regularly text chat each day, send photos, have video calls, and everything is normal. They say pictures say a thousand words and it's true. If she's at work at hospital and sends a photo, that's what I see – her doing her thing at work. She's got nothing to hide, every photo is her at that particular moment in time, wherever she is. (But having said this, of course, you should never fully drop your guard with any new relationship with a lady, especially from a different country and culture).

Now getting back to the ladies of the trade. This normal behaviour will never exist with these such ladies simply because these women are not normal mainstream. As I've said before, I've known my fair share of these ladies and a very distinct pattern of behaviour is common amongst them. The conversation almost always starts with their unfortunate life story, which always involves a bad relationship with a Thai man. Then she will quickly move on to explaining how she is looking for a good man to take care of her and her family and so on and on it goes. Enough has been written about on this website for people to work it out for themselves, so not gonna go on like a stuck record.

My humble opinion is that any man who is looking for love in Thailand should not be looking in the naughty areas. They would be advised to do some research and look for a normal, mainstream Thai lady. I'm not saying they are guaranteed to find the perfect woman as they are all individuals with their own distinct personalities, but you're gonna feel much more comfortable with a normal mainstream Thai lady for sure.

I read about the great lengths men go to when taking of a bar woman. And good luck to them I say, but to me it seems like a whole lot of trouble and heartache with possible financial problems when getting involved with such ladies. I for one am a fan of online dating as it has given me the ability to get to know the lady I'm involved with much more now. This much talked about thing where advice says you must be over in Thailand meeting these ladies in the flesh ASAP is nonsense. If you have a decent lady she will understand the same values as you about relationships and at no point should be putting pressure on you at any time, anything other than that then she really not the right lady in my opinion.

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Stickman's thoughts:

I agree that bar ladies may not be the best option for a long-term relationship. Where once I would have strongly recommended the online dating sites, now I would say to proceed but with your eyes wide open. The issue I have with the dating sites is that there are more scammers on there these days and they play a long term game. Also, it's where the "farang-hungry" lades are, the ladies who want a guy because he is a foreigner, not because he is necessarily a good guy and they are a good match. More and more, I think the best way for a foreigner to meet a lady in Thailand is to try and meet someone in a similar way to how he would meet a lady in his own country.

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