Thai Ladies, Do Yourself A Favour, Part 2
I just gonna write a little more on the subject of dating mainstream Thai ladies. Thanks, Stick, for your comment and yes I agree with you that one should be careful with online scammers in this day and age, a very valid point indeed.
But first I just want to clear up something. If you look at the definition of the word scammer, in simple terms it means a person who intentionally deceives people into handing over money or love if you want too look at it that way. But this has to be a two-way transaction for the scam to work of course. The person who allows oneself to be scammed is indeed the victim but also at the same time the instigator. This may sound unfair but if you're gonna mess with fire, even if you're wearing flameproof clothing, eventually you will get burned!
The reason why I say this is I recently read on your weekly column the interview you had with the so-called good girls. Now taking into account what these ladies were saying and what I have read on other submissions on the site notably by Jayson, I have written out a few very valid points which have been made on this website. In no particular order.
Her Family will always be regarded as more important than you. You will be expected too integrate into her family and close friends which usually means in Thai society an expectation of being generous with your money. Money speaks in Thailand and you will be looked upon as wealthy and you will be the one everybody turns too when money is needed especially in a emergency situation which could be anything. <My observations are that this is only if you marry in to a lower class family – Stick>
She will always consider other men as a option until she is completely sure you are capable of proving you will meet all her expectations financially, which means also later in your retirement years.
She will automatically assume you as a Western man are moderately wealthy.
She will work but at least half her earnings she will send back to her family. So you will probably be paying out for most things as her money will be spoken for. This will certainly apply if you choose to live with her in Thailand. Your employment salary will expected too be sufficient enough too support her and her family if she is not working due too family commitments or sickness.
The cost of bringing her to your country could be very expensive and stressful even if she's well educated and meets all the visa requirements. Nothing is guaranteed and could end with heartbreaking results after maybe years of careful planning.
Even if she agrees to come live with you in Farangland she will most likely want to retire back in Thailand and set up a home and small business for financial security which means she will probably be the outright owner even though you may have financed it.
Ok, now I've chosen all the scary parts I admit, but if you look at these carefully and think about it a little, freaking hell, based on what I've written and others have written which can be assumed as factual, one might come to the conclusion that the whole Farang / Thai relationship is a absolute no go area. Forget the who idea, stick with Farang women from your own country!
Now going back to my online dating experience, like I said before, 8 months of chatting to this lady I am still standing by my belief that this isn't a bad thing. Ok, we have not met yet in the flesh but I'm planning a trip in February 2016 which will be a year since we first made contact.
Now, based on what I've learned about her is actually she's just your ordinary mainstream Thai woman like I said before. She has not ever asked me for money or made any suggestive comments about marriage or anything.
So based on this I too am fair, I have to give this lady the benefit of the doubt. Upon meeting her in the flesh may yield a very different outlook but will have too see and will let you all know.
My point is, if you're looking at online dating as it's been said before and pointed out by Stick in my last submission, do your homework and read the signs.
Don't ever send any woman online money or declare your undivided love for her. Use your judgement wisely. The next step is to go meet her and take it from there. But again, plan your visit on your terms, have an escape plan in place, don't throw all your eggs in one basket. Maybe set up multiple dates on your visit. This is what I'm planning to do for sure.
Maybe if I'd have written this in my first submission it would avoided any misconceptions.
Going back too the original part 1 of this submission, I definitely stand by what I said about mainstream Thai ladies vs. bargirls.
Like the song ''Ring of Fire" you will definitely burn, burn, burn with the large majority of working girls if you want too take one on. But it's our life, our choices.
The points you have made are for the most part fair, but I feel they are also generalisations. I think too many foreigners make the mistake of marrying a lady from a family which has perpetual money troubles. And given that most Thais put family first, you have to expect that there are going to be expectations for you, as a foreigner, to help out. If you don't like the idea of that, then maybe you ought to choose someone from the middle-class whose family is less likely to have money problems. This is something I have long tried to convince people to do, but it seems many don't listen.