Thai Ladies, Do Yourself A Favor
(Response From Vietnam Prince)
I will try and keep this short, but wanted to add my thoughts as it relates to my experience with a Vietnam girl, both bar and non-bar. I agree with the premise that trying to have a long and lasting relationship with a bargirl is very challenging and I gave up on that a long time ago. I agree that many are good people, but circumstances led them to the trade.
However, with respect to what you call a “normal” girl, I have the following comments:
1. Her family and money? Maybe in Thailand her family comes first and money is king, but I have had a different experience with a normal Vietnam girl. Based on my current relationship and others I know, a traditional Vietnam girl will put you first. Granted, to get her to love you to the point where you are #1 is not easy. But if you get her heart, you will be #1. Of course her family is important, but she will listen to you and support you until she turns to stone. Money? I think it depends on the family and the girl (as Stick commented). My girlfriend has never asked for money and could care less about it. Actually, she probably spends more money on me than I on her. What she wants is a man to love her, care for her and respect her.
2. She will consider other men? Again, if you have the love of a normal Vietnam girl, that is not even in the realm of possibility. She is focused on you and your life together, even after death. For example, she will not do anything without your approval if she thinks it will somehow make you think she is doing something you do not approve of, including going to a coffee shop with female co-workers.
3. She will assume you are moderately wealthy? I agree, but that is expected as a matter of propaganda. However, the information age is slowly changing that image as many women in Vietnam are fully aware of the western man who goes to Asia looking for a submissive wife and really is not wealthy. Are there are gold diggers, of course. But you should not treat her any different than you would any other girl. If you want to show off, expect the results. However, my recommendations are that you be honest with the girl and explain that, yes, people make more money, but it costs more to live in the West. At the end of the day, the lifestyle is not so great unless you truly are wealthy.
4. She will send half her pay check back home? I think that depends on you. I do not know about Thailand, but based on my experiences in Vietnam, guys do not fork over the money to the girl's family like western men. My girlfriend knows where I stand, money is not a topic of discussion and she and her family know I am not and will not be an ATM, period.
5. She lives with you in Farangland and will most likely want to retire in Thailand? I agree with that as well. As a matter of fact, I find life in Vietnam a lot more relaxing and enjoyable than in the West. Thus, we have agreed that if I do not move to Vietnam, we can live outside Vietnam, but the plan is to retire and die in Vietnam, both of us.
With respect to online dating, I have to agree with Stick. I had my fair share and it was interesting, but the minefields are there just like anywhere else. However, I recommend it over the bar girl scene. Why? There are plenty of good girls looking for a real relationship – you just have to keep at it and weed out the bad flowers. Also, take it slow, very slow. Although it is painful, you have to get to know her, her family, her education, her employment, basically everything she does and that takes time. I have known my girlfriend for almost 2 years and we are not married, but it is in the works. The beginning is difficult because of the trust factor and it almost destroyed our relationship. However, we made it past that difficult stage and now our relationship is simply…amazing. I know I have not updated my experiences here since my last submission, but life goes by quickly and I just have not had time to sit down and write my experiences. Good luck with the online dating!
Vietnam is a country which fascinates me and while it has struck me on my visits to be generally a little more "difficult" than Thailand, I always had the feeling that if one persevered the reward is potentially a life that could be better than that which many foreigners living in Thailand end up with. It would be very interesting to hear if others' experiences mirror yours on Vietnamese women – and specifically whether they really do put their man is #1 – a position most foreigners in Thailand seem to agree the average Western never reaches.