Soon To Be Girlfriend

I meet a girl in Soi Cowboy 2 months ago. Long story short, that night she decided to find me after the bar had closed. She told me that she doesn’t usually do that and asked me not to inform anyone. (I stay in AirBnB apartment with my own room). We went back separately because she did not want anyone to see.

That night nothing happened. We talked on the bed the entire night. Hugging and then sleep. We talked about her ex and about life. The next day we went for lunch and she went back to prepare for work.

We did not meet on the 2nd night. But we meet on the 3rd and the 4th night. As the 4th night was my birthday, she secretly planned a celebration with my friends and surprised me. We did not do much physically other than the last night; I could tell she is sort of unwilling.

So after coming back to Singapore, we chatted every day. Everyday after she woke up or before she works and after she work, if she goes out with her friends to other bars/club, we will still talk after that. We got really close. I offered her an air ticket to Singapore for a holiday. She brought a friend along because she promised her that she would bring her the next time she visits Singapore. (She worked in a Thai disco before.)

Everything was fine until her birthday night. She got off but we didn't chat much. I bought a set of her favourite Hello Kitty as promised when we are talking. That night I saw her post a photo of her having those kitties and a few minutes later, I couldn’t see her anymore. I act a bit abnormal and told her I don't feel like talking. In the end, I told her that I saw it. She texted me and said it is from her customer.

So I had the intention to slowly drift from her after she goes back Bangkok. It is not healthy for me to suspect a lot of issues while her response time to return the call or reply used to be fast but changed to be fairly long.

Long story short again. The day that we arrive in Singapore, she and her friends are held in ICA for 6 hours. I did my best to get them out. For 4 days, I threw surprises to her as a post birthday celebration. That first night, when we were drinking some beers from 7/11 near the hotel, she suddenly rushes and wants to go up. I can feel something odd. So I went in and accidentally took a peek at her phone. I understand that there is another Singapore guy who likes her. So apparently he saw us. I just decided to go off suddenly after she came out from the toilet. I guess she panicked and called me. Blah blah blah. After 30 minutes she came down and cried (didn’t wanna tell me yet) but we continued and talked about her trip.

Then comes the 3rd day, when we went to us with a friend who went to Bangkok with me the other time. When we were queuing up for the taxi queue, I recognised the Singaporean guy and pretended that I didn’t see. She saw as well and told me she had something to tell me later. The guy confronted her near the end of the queue but I told him off.

Back to the hotel, she comes clean and tells me everything. The guy is her boyfriend. That night she broke up with him. She told me they broke up a lot of times but every time she was persuaded to go back with him. From her stories, he did not treat her very nice blah blah blah. I asked her a few questions which she could not answer. Why didn't she tell me that she has a boyfriend? I told her I would not have done anything if she is attached. I told her that I like her, but I can feel that she is not really in to me. She explained to me that we got really close to the extent that she used to treat me like a customer but it got close to the extent she don't know what it was. Moreover, she has a boyfriend who always controls her and causes her sadness. She had to decide what she wants and no-one can force her to choose. She told me her fear is that I won't be able to trust her because she did wrong when she had a boyfriend. And I think that she will do that to me. She broke up that night.

I am not trying to be naive but I give trust to people easily. But once broken, I don’t trust the person anymore.

After she went back, she didn’t need to start work. We were very close for 2 days before she went for another holiday at Phuket. I understand that she has a lot of friends and customers who are willing to sponsor her and lavish her with cash. She is still frustrated by that ex as he keeps on pestering her. She blocked him and told me. She is scared I don't want to get together with her.

About 2 weeks ago that she was in Singapore and she asked me to visit her in Bangkok. I am going next weekend.

Honestly right now, I am conflicted. I think I have fallen for her but sometimes it is frustrating that she did not tell me where she is heading after work. I know she keeps in contact with her customers because some of them give her money on a monthly basis. I have this paranoid feeling in me that she is doing something behind my back. Please advise whether I should get together with her or need an investigation or I should ring up the ex and talk to him because he asked to talked to me during her stay in Singapore but she rejected.

Stickman's thoughts:

Walk away. This lady is not someone you should think about getting involved with in a serious relationship. It's obvious she is juggling a few men. Maybe she is looking for the best option, or out to have fun or maybe she is just trying to make as much money as she can. This is a lady you have fun with and nothing more!