Online Dating – Can It ‘Work’…? – Part 8
Part-1 outlined my basic reasons for investigating ThaiLoveLinks.
Part-2 detailed my first two meetings with tender Thai damsels.
Part-3 covers two further meetings with less tender lasses.
Part-4, in which I investigate a ‘company girl’, and take a break.
Part-5, where the ‘company girl’ gets another break.
Part-6, and I meet with two bored, and boring, ladies.
Part-7 wherein we limber up to meet three ladies in two days.
So, bright and early on Monday morning, in February, 2013, I set off from Hua Hin, send a message to Su to let her know I’m on my way, and arrive at Victory Monument again at noon… and the day totally falls apart… My plan is to meet ‘Su’ for morning coffee, possibly meet the Danish couple for lunch, and ‘Hellen’ for afternoon coffee, with the evening free for dinner in Denmark, if necessary… Then tomorrow morning to meet ‘Phet’ (not the real names) leaving the rest of the day for shopping, et al…
My message to Su has gone unanswered so I give her a call and she babbles on a bit, most of which I don’t understand, although it doesn’t sound good… She says something about being far from Bangkok, apparently ‘like’ Hua Hin… but, in that case, why does her profile claim to be in Bangkok…? Anyway, the upshot is she’s unable to see me, and asks how long I’ll be here. I tell her, two days – I am not going to offer her Wednesday as an alternative… She originally offered me both days, I chose today, she accepted… So what’s her problem…! She says she’ll send a message, and the line goes dead…
I get an SMS from Hellen asking if I’m here yet. I send back I’m at Siam Square… and then get a message from Su: “I can’t meet you today.” Great…! No ‘sorry’; no ‘Maybe tomorrow’; no ‘How about next week’; nada, zilch…! Well, thanks a bunch. Pity she didn’t tell me when I phoned her yesterday… It’s a good job I have other reasons to be in town today. But… I’ve been unable to contact anybody from Denmark either.
I get the Skytrain to Nana, and check in at the hotel. Hellen phones. She speaks quite good English but… doesn’t realise my problems – in particular that I can’t really hear her – I think she’s in the Staff Room, whispering… She says wait a minute, goes outside (presumably) and it’s better, but she still doesn’t seem to speak into the microphone… She says she cannot meet me until five o’clock, because she’s teaching until four-fifteen… which, with the best will in the world suggests there’s no way she will ever reach me before six o’clock…! – and then some… I remind her I’m meeting friends for dinner this evening – though this is no more definite than anything else. Hellen instantly suggests we meet afterwards… What is the matter with her sense of time…!? I tell her I expect to be having dinner at about eight o’clock, until ten or eleven, and will then need to sleep – I’ve been up since six this morning and, I add, I’m an old man.
I shower, and lie down. Hellen SMS’s: “Waaaa I don’t know where to go yet so how many hours you be with me before you see your friends.” While I’m reading this another comes flying in: “If you only wanna see me for an hour better not to see as am preparing a lot LOL”
I succinctly reply: “Better you not say ‘afternoon’…!” I am starting to get annoyed with all this crap. I offered her ‘afternoon coffee’ (two words that were repeated several times by both of us), today or tomorrow – she chose today. Throughout the world afternoon usually refers to somewhere between twelve and six o’clock, and she’s already stretched the point to meeting at about five or six… Hellen very quickly replies: “As I understand you are here to meet your friends for dinner and I don’t want you to be in a hurry while you are with me. I hope you understand my point.”
Well, seeing as she asks… No I ****ing do not…! I am here to meet her, for coffee, this afternoon… and I will decide if I mind being in a hurry…! At this rate it’s likely to turn into: Hellen, in the library, with the candlestick…! I have great difficulty framing a response to this without being rude and, before I can decide… I receive another: “Just meet your friends I thinks that’s really the reason why you are here right”
. . . and with this I see red…! First, I get increasingly bored by people who do not know me telling me what I think…! And secondly, I am here now to see her, as arranged, though hoping to see others as well and, if they’re sight-seeing during the day, I’m best to keep the evenings free. And on top of all that I am only here to just ‘meet’ these ladies – perhaps for an hour, or two, or even less if we don’t click – we are none of us here on a ‘date’…! As quickly as I can punch the keys I tap out: “I am certainly not here to play silly games – thank you.”
I should have said more – perhaps lots more – but can I be bothered when she seems so wrapped up in herself…? And maybe I am as well… Hellen can obviously punch these tiny keys faster than me and she speedily dispatches: : “Me too I am not playing games if I understand you right you said you are not able later tonight as you are with your friends so what I compromise I just go there and leave again! Another one you are eating now how about me hahaha I will eat alone…….”
I am now just so pissed off with these apparent control games, even if not deliberate. I do not give a damn when she eats. Presumably she has just had lunch and, after meeting me – for coffee…! – she can eat again, all she wants… I strongly object to our afternoon-coffee-MEETING being turned into an evening-dinner-DATE… and she thinks she’s compromising…!
I can either tell her just what I think of her, which she won’t understand, especially as she thinks she’s doing everything to assist (which at least is a marked improvement on the Thai norm…), or I can do the Asian thing… and not retaliate. I re-check the ‘Royal Denmark’, don’t get an answer from their room, and leave a message. I also check ThaiFriendly and have several messages, including Phet who is looking forward to seeing me tomorrow… Then I go for a walk to Robinson, where I finally have lunch, at nearly five o’clock. After a little window-shopping I stroll back to Coffee World (my favourite) and have a large, hot latte – and decide to continue ignoring Hellen…
Phet phones to say she’s looking forward to tomorrow, and will meet in MBK at eleven o’clock, but I have barely recovered from this more promising prospect when I receive a message from… yes, you guessed it… Hellen…: “I am just tired”
I don’t respond, pay for coffee and stroll back to the hotel. At six-thirty, Hellen phones… I won’t be able to hear a thing she says, in Soi Nana, and have no intention of screaming my thoughts in a public place… and anyway, I don’t see what I can say that will be worth the bother… so I ignore her. Ten minutes later, after another shower, I receive: “Bye then and goodluck to you”
In many ways it is better to have this sort of behaviour up front. Even if either of these ladies had been better mannered and more interested I could have been caught up with this nonsense further down the line, when it might have been more difficult, and certainly less pleasant (who said today has been pleasant…!?). It’s little compensation for the bother of coming here today, but… you take what you can, and give when they let you.
At seven-thirty the State of Denmark phones, and sounds rather alarmed to find me in Bangkok… and three times points out they’ve had a great two days, are now exhausted… and need to have a quiet dinner in the hotel, before departing in the middle of the night… Three people – one day – three brush-offs… LOL
And then the lunch comes back to haunt me, and I have to quickly visit the bathroom – the only meeting I look like having today… LOL
At ten o’clock, I stroll round Nana Plaza, which is incredibly clean, then up to Cowboy, which I still don’t like, back to Nana, and give Billboard a try… but it’s now just a shadow of its former glory two years ago, and I drink up and depart. I also peruse the seating in Spanky’s but am unpleasantly told: “Don’t walk around…!” so I just turn around, and leave – it was too crowded anyway.
What a piss-poor day…!!
Much later, on returning to Hua Hin I find a message from Hellen on ThaiFriendly:
“I am sorry, i think i am not yet ready to see someone at the moment as i am really in bad condition with what happen to me weeks ago. Not yet ready to be seeing another guy at the moment i thought you are not serious. I have to admit i have been to 10 guys here in Bangkok and they all the same. So i think its a bit hard for me to trust at the moment.
“I hope you understand but if you feel like you really now hate me nothing i can do.
“But if you open your heart to me again maybe i will be visiting you to Hua Hin after the quarter ends. In that i can really have an eye a glance and a pinch of you.
“But if not the end…..”
… and the next week, another…
“Hi sorry na ka.”
… I decide she maybe deserves a response.
Thank you for your message – and apology – I did not expect either…
I was disappointed with your behaviour last week…
In your SMS you hoped I would see your point, but it was different to what had been agreed, several times, in email and SMS and phone: to meet; for coffee; in the afternoon. We did not say anything about ‘evening’, or ‘dinner’, and we were not on a ‘date’ – it was just a meeting, to see if we liked each other. That was the point…!
Then you decided that you were not free in the afternoon until five o’clock, which would become six o’clock (or even later) and I was having dinner with friends from eight o’clock, probably until about eleven o’clock. If you had said you could not meet in the afternoon I could have had lunch with my friends… and seen you in the evening…!
When you have problems you should not dump them on other people. You have to deal with them before you try to meet other people…
If you throw your heart away too quickly you must not be surprised if it falls to the ground. It isn’t necessarily the guys’ fault. Maybe you did meet ten horrible guys… or perhaps they were just not as nice as you hoped… and very few people are ever as nice as we hope.
I know I’m older than you, but internet meeting is new for me. But I do know, if someone says ‘afternoon’, they do not mean ‘evening’ – na kap 5555555555555555…! ;)”
In the middle of the night I receive:
Thanks for writing me a very long email I am shocked either. Not expecting you will as I know you will not give an eye to me anymore.
Sorry I think we have a misunderstanding with regard to the meeting and me too do my selfishness I think that I tried to make you an impression that you are going to look for your friends not me I am sorry 555
Okay once again I thank you for emailing me back! Belated Happy Hearts Day to you.”
If we had met maybe we might have found some link, if weird, but it’s debatable it would have gone very far. Overall I still think the potential dangers out-weighed the short-term excitement.
On the Next Day… still in Bangkok… but I feel I’m taking up too much of your time so…
That’s all for now folks… Pip, Pip.
Hua Hin Harry
to be continued…