Online Dating – Can It ‘Work’…? – Part 7

Part-1 outlined my basic reasons for investigating ThaiLoveLinks.

Part-2 detailed my first two meetings with tender Thai damsels.

Part-3 covers two further meetings with less tender lasses.

Part-4, in which I investigate a ‘company girl’, and take a break.

Part-5, where the ‘company girl’ gets another break.

Part-6, and I meet with two bored, and boring, ladies.

Now I take another sabbatical, for three months, and move forward to early 2013. In the meantime I have continued to peruse the web (and now definitely prefer ThaiFriendly), while also asking around the town. When a bar-girl or ‘masseuse’ invites me to step inside I outline my plan: forget about the bar/salon, that you claim to hate, and let me take you away from all this. I will guarantee you the same money (or more) and will also provide board and lodging, and one week’s paid leave per month, plus bus fare home… because all the ladies I speak to bemoan missing their family… and this little admission is frankly so dubious I ought to have included it in my recent series of Bar-Girl Myths… but will come back to it at the end of this series.

Most of these ladies (who, in Hua Hin, do not make the sort of money the top girls apparently make in Bangkok) tend to respond favourably to this proposition and, as I still have a few friends left in the bars, they receive confirmation that I’m a basically trustworthy guy… but that’s as far as it ever goes… and I don’t quite know why.

If I was in a work environment and a ‘customer’ wanted to, in effect, ‘poach’ me to work elsewhere I would first want to know what the catch was. Often there isn’t one, in which case I would want to know the advantages: more money; better environment; longer paid leave; better prospects… and so on… but mainly I would want to see where I would be working, meet new colleagues, check the benefits; and then enquire about the pay… Because money isn’t everything… And maybe that’s the difference. Maybe for Thais it is (virtually?) everything.

I expect a lady, if interested, to want to see my home, and determine what exactly the job entails. I always offer to run them there immediately, and have them back at work in half an hour, before their boss misses them… but, no… The first and only question they ask is: “How much…?”, which suggests, they have certain expectations, financially and, whatever the offer, their only interest is the money…

Apart from being very sad it doesn’t do them any favors. What I’m looking for is someone who isn’t afraid to work, and is prepared to accept decent money for a fairly effortless job. Maybe I’m most likely to find such a lady from rural areas where there are fewer options, but unfortunately my experience (and I stress, MY experience) suggests most ladies come to work in the bars because they are too indolent to try anything else – 60-hour weeks on a factory floor do not appeal to such a person and, when a friend or family member assures them upwards of 20,000 – 30,000 ฿/month can be made in the bars, many are encouraged to have a go… and also, in my experience, most of them fail, and those who might get close are rarely able to maintain such levels year round, year after year… Often their best bet is to find a permanent contact, and hope for a decent remuneration.

With a likelihood of (still) earning as little as 5,000 ฿/month as a farmer, and less than 10,000 on a factory floor, many ladies arrive in the bars expecting 20,000 ฿/month (or more) and, although they’ve been taking little more than 5,000/month for the first few months they’ve been here, they prefer to remain hopeful, rather than realistic… especially odd when so many of them also claim they would rather not be working in a bar at all. Another writer here recently declared: ‘When watching a bar-girl playing with her iPhone, and ignoring passing punters, it is difficult to accept they are here because of poverty…’ If they really want (decent rather than stupid) money, and really want to work, and really miss their families, my offer ought to at least be of sufficient interest to get them to investigate the prospects… but… all they ever say is: “How much…!?” – and that, usually not too politely.

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So, let’s get on… At New Years, 2013, I am propositioned by ‘Hellen’ (not the real name), a very lively ka-toey teacher (allegedly) in Bangkok, who is very keen to meet. We exchange messages for a month, and seem to make each other laugh a lot. Her written English is very good but, when we speak on the phone, she understands little of my English, and less of my Thai…

Incidentally… as I mentioned before, I’m looking for a housekeeper, housemaid, nursemaid, gardener, companion – I’m flexible… Straight, gay, ka-toey, I judge the person, not their preference…

In February I am expecting Danish friends, returning home from Sydney, to stop off for a couple of days in Bangkok, and hope to see them, if they have the energy… and so, in several messages over three days, Hellen and I agree to meet one afternoon for coffee. I explain I expect to have either lunch or dinner with my friends and so coffee in the afternoon will be fine. She accepts willingly and we arrange to meet two days later. Then she sends another message to say she can’t meet before five o’clock because she’s teaching.

Four days earlier I encountered the chubby presence of ‘Su’ (not the real name), a nurse in Bangkok and, in just four days, also arrange to meet her two days later… but before lunch, on my arrival. If we hit it off we can always add to this arrangement… I am aware it’s all looking a bit tight but I warn her, I will be meeting Danish friends later and, if we fall instantly in love, Denmark can always take a back seat… Alas, poor Yorrick…

I have a slight concern with Su’s SMS skills. She first says she works every day, and, when I ask when we can therefore meet, I receive: “You can come n key me knw wht day” (apparently looking at the keys and not bothering to read what she’s written – not a good sign) which, when I work out ‘key’ (‘let’?), suggests I can take my pick… How…? I tell her I’m retired and can come whenever is good for her… and she says she has a free day on Monday and Wednesday…(!) and so… two days later it is.

Meanwhile, and just two days earlier, ‘Phet’ [Not the famous Phet here…!] suddenly enters my world. She sends messages like a Gatling gun, at the end of each sentence apparently pressing ‘Send’ instead of ‘Return’. In three days we exchange thirty-one messages and… agree to meet two days later… but on the morning of my second day in town. This time I’m having an overnight in Bangkok… No point in getting too complicated… LOL

Incidentally… Phet’s writing/typing skills are a tad worrying… especially the message that just contains: I like it Licks than swallow you ^ _ ^. My suspicion is ‘than’ is supposed to read: ‘then’… The mind boggles… She also implies she is either out of work, or works infrequently…

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So, bright and early on Monday morning I set off from Hua Hin, send a message to Su to let her know I’m on my way, and arrive at Victory Monument again at noon… and the day totally falls apart… but I’ll have to put that in Part-8…

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That’s all for now folks… Pip, Pip.

Hua Hin Harry

to be continued…