My Thai Wife; No Problems Here
This is a follow-up to a submission I posted in late 2013-early 2014 entitled “My Thai Girl Friend, Potential Problems”. I received many responses to my original post with 98% of them advising me to move on and chock up my experiences to a wonderful holiday adventure. But two individuals wrote to me and said otherwise. One eventually changed his mind and told me I was crazy to pursue this, but the other (thanks Steve from Australia) gave me encouragement and while not telling me everything would turn out roses, he gave me a little hope to keep my dream alive. Thank God I took his advice and kept my hopes alive! In March of 2015, Pui and I were married in Thailand. We applied for and received a K-1 Fiancée Visa to the US, and she is now happily living with me in Los Angeles, California. We were legally married in the US on May 12, 2015 and I am proud to say Pui is pregnant and due with our baby girl on November 22, 2015! All my dreams have come true, and I am the happiest man in the world!
So what happened? What happened with Pui when I went back home in December of 2013? Why, as I mentioned in my original post did she stop communicating with me? Are you ready for a roller coaster of emotions? Well here it goes:
When I first met Pui at her massage shop, I immediately fell in love with her. I know it sounds stupid, falling in love, especially in light of the way we met, but there is just no other explanation! I mean, I have been with other women, (most recently the very night I met Pui) but this was different. We just got along so well, and she seemed as happy with me as I was with her! Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to me at the time, Pui already had a farang boyfriend. Why she never mentioned it, I can only speculate. Maybe she was scared I would run off, maybe she was confused; maybe she felt she needed to be loyal to the man from Switzerland (I will call him Mr. Swiss); maybe she thought I was not serious. Who really knows? But when I left for LA that December, she took me to the airport, stayed with me until it was boarding time, and even shed a little tear for me telling me she wanted to see me again. But she never mentioned Mr. Swiss!
I found out that the reason she stopped communicating with me on December 30, 2013 was because Mr. Swiss was in Thailand visiting her! That’s right, shortly after I left for Los Angeles, Mr. Swiss came to visit! It was not until January 7 (it was during that period that I submitted my first Stickman post) that I finally was able to contact her, and it was then that she leveled with me. She had quit her job in Phuket, and Mr. Swiss was with her in Isaan. Furthermore, she was getting ready to go with him to Switzerland for 3 months! This was already planned before I had met her! I was devastated! To be honest, I have nothing against Mr. Swiss – he was lucky to have met her first. He was very nice to her, and he was also sending her 40,000 baht per month!
I managed to find her Facebook page, and the pictures there were worth a thousand words! My eyes were opened wide. It seems she had known Mr. Swiss since early 2013, some ten months before I even met her! Talk about a dollar short, and a day late! Despite all this, however, she also continued to talk to me, and this gave me the slightest glimmer of hope. I figured; why would she still communicate with me if she were so content with Mr. Swiss? On top of that I thought how would a Thai girl, who had never set foot outside of Thailand, fare in freezing cold Switzerland in the middle of winter? I decided then and there that I would not give up on this. I wanted this, and no matter how slim my chances, I would use any means I could to win over her heart and wait out her time with Mr. Swiss.
While in Switzerland, her life was pretty mundane as Mr. Swiss trudged off to work during the week and left Pui home alone on the fifth floor of his tiny apartment! There was not much for her to do except watch TV. It was cold, rainy and snowy outside, and there wasn't anywhere for her to walk or get some fresh air.
Communication was difficult as most everyone spoke French. On the weekends, he kept her busy with trips to the countryside or hockey games. Pui would post pictures on Facebook of her adventures, and it looked like she was really enjoying her stay. However, Pui would send me pictures and video of the lonely view from the window of his apartment! Don’t get me wrong, I know Switzerland is beautiful, but where Pui was staying looked cold, dark, grey and depressing. Drab grey concrete structures for as far as you could see. It looked more like a scene from the 1980’s Soviet Union! I would send her pictures of palm trees from sunny Los Angeles, or desert scenes from Red Rock Canyon near Las Vegas. Pui was missing Thailand, the sun and her friends and family!
Our daily conversations grew longer and longer, and as a result we became closer and closer. She would plead for me to wait for her, and say, “In May we will be together forever”. Now, Mr. Swiss was not a bad man but she quickly realized that he was not a good match for her. He was slightly overweight, relatively lazy and quite frankly a mama’s boy! He spoke French and English and insisted that Pui take French lessons, which she did not want to. She wanted to focus on improving her English. He was jealous and insecure to the point where he would get upset if another man even looked at her out on the street or in a store! I mean, you bring an exotic beautiful Thai girl to Switzerland; what did he expect? When they would get in little fights over dopey things all couples fight about from time to time he would start to cry like a baby to make her feel sorry for him! It was suffocating for her! Unfortunately for him, he was also lousy in the sack.
She told me he would not eat anything except pizza, hamburgers or pasta! He would not even try Thai food, and complained about the smell whenever Pui cooked in his home! In January, while on holiday in Isaan, he chose to stay in a western hotel downtown 45 minutes from her farming village. Unfortunately, sleeping without AC, eating Thai food while sitting on the floor, or taking cold showers with a bucket of lake water were just unacceptable to him. I kept telling myself; this will never last!
The weeks slowly dragged by, but finally she was due to come home to Thailand in early April in time for Songkran. With her blessing, I bought tickets to go and see her in May, and I would meet her in BKK. I remember arriving in BKK at around 11:00 AM on Cathay Pacific. I remember taking a taxi from the airport to the Holiday Inn, Silom. I remember going up to the seventh floor, knocking on my room, and being greeted by the most beautiful dark brown, sexy Thai girl wearing nothing but a white towel. At that point, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. We did not come up for air until the next day. You cannot imagine the joy and satisfaction I felt after all these months of uncertainty!
The next day we took an Air Asia flight down to Phuket. Because Pui had stopped working she had given up her Patong room, so I rented a nice condo for a week down the road from the Bangla Muay Thai stadium. We had a great time, but Pui was still torn; she revealed how Mr. Swiss was the one who told her to quit her job, and that he was pressuring her to come back to Switzerland for the summer! I would say, “Why would you do that? You were miserable!” But she was still torn because of all the money he had given her, and she did not want to hurt him. Pui is a very good person! She was also concerned about her dignity as it seems that many of Mr. Swiss’s friends were warning him that Thai girls just use you for the money, and she swore that would not be the case with her. But still, I would argue that she was not happy. Did she really want to spend the rest of her life with a person she didn’t really love, in a place she didn’t really like? And what about her son? Could she imagine raising him in a tiny apartment in winter with nothing but the TV for entertainment? I told her that despite the fact that he gave her money; he got some benefit out of the arrangement also. She did everything he asked of her, she quit her job, and she spent 3 months with him in Switzerland. He had not bought her, and she was free to change her mind and to make her own decisions for her future based on what she thought was best for her!
But looking back, probably the most important thing I said was that it would be acceptable to me if she returned to work in Patong while we attempted to get a US Visa. This was big! Not only did Pui earn a nice sum of money to help with her family, she also enjoyed staying with her friends. While in Isaan, there was nothing for her to do except farm rice, and quite frankly she was bored. By staying in Patong to work while her mother watched her son, she was able to provide for her family as well as enjoy her friends. This was a risk for me, as she worked in a massage shop! But I figured if this relationship is real, and we were really meant for each other, I should not be afraid of her meeting other men. If I was that insecure, I might as well forget about it! It really impressed her that I trusted her! Believe you me, it was not easy for me, but I kept my mouth shut, and kept my promise. Finally she agreed with me, called Mr. Swiss, and told him that she was not coming back to Switzerland, and that she was seeing me!
After a week in Phuket, we flew to BKK and then drove to Isaan to meet her family! What a wonderful, welcoming family, and I had a great time! Unlike Mr. Swiss, I embraced rural Thai farm life, staying in her home, eating traditional Thai food on the floor with the family, drinking Hong Thong whisky with her uncles, taking cold showers with a bucket from a plastic trash pail with fresh lake water. I LOVED it! By the end of that week, her son was calling me daddy! Ultimately, we drove back to BKK; I got on a flight to LA, and she got on a flight to Phuket to go back to work. What an amazing trip!
I came back to Thailand in August of 2014. This time we went to see an attorney in BKK and sat down with Brian the attorney who gave us the low down and informed us that we were perfect candidates. I took out my credit card, and we started the process right then and there!
My next trip to Thailand was in November of 2014. Besides another trip to Phuket and Isaan, Pui had her interview scheduled at the US Embassy in BKK for December 1! The interview went OK; I mean there were no problems, and she was not rejected outright, but she was told that her application was now in administrative processing! We were worried, as the attorney told us they would either grant her the visa at that point, or reject her outright. I went home alone, angry, worried and confused. We had no idea what was going on, and we could not get any relevant information from the US Embassy or USCIS.
The attorney was baffled; he said he had never seen an instance where they put an application on administrative hold without telling you something was amiss or something was missing. We were told nothing. He theorized that because of the high turnover of officers at the US Embassy in Bangkok, that someone new had an issue or question that needed clarification, and that Pui’s application was now in a pile on someone’s desk! He suggested that I continue to e-mail them and demand answers. He also suggested that I contact my local Congressman’s office. On our behalf, my Congressman’s office contacted the US Embassy in BKK and asked directly what was going on. That must have really greased the wheels; because on February 12, 2015, I finally received an e-mail from the Embassy that Pui’s visa was approved!
Before the approval, I had already made plans to travel back to Thailand on February 18, 2015. Pui and I decided to go ahead and get married in Thailand even if the visa was not approved, and we were married in her village in a Thai Buddhist ceremony on March 1, 2015! Because of the short time frame of learning of the visa approval, there was not enough time to arrange for Pui to come home with me. Once again I went home alone to LA on March 5. On March 20, Pui announced that she was pregnant!
I traveled back to Thailand once again on April 22, 2015. The next day, I flew down to Phuket and helped Pui pack up and close down her room in Patong. On the 29th we traveled to her village for a week, and on May 5, 2015, Pui flew home to LA with me! Getting off that Airplane, and seeing that sign that says “Welcome to the United States” was awesome! We were married in a legal US civil ceremony on May 12, and Pui’s green card application has been accepted and is in process. I know she misses Thailand, but she enjoys California and seems quite content. I am retired now, so I get to spend all of my time with her! It is now September and the baby is due in November. We are unbelievably happy! Once she gets her green card, and the baby is born, we will make arrangements to travel back to Thailand with the goal of bringing her son back with us to the US. This will probably be in the summer of 2016.
What does the future hold? Who knows, but I told her flat out that I am not against the idea of some day moving back to Thailand to live for good. Either way, we are happy, and ecstatic beyond words how everything turned out. It truly was an epic journey! Most Stickman submissions do not turn out so well it would seem; I just remain a testament to the fact that things do workout from time to time and dreams do come true.
It's always nice to hear of positive outcomes like this, especially when there was a certain risk with this lady based on her previous behaviour. Congratulations on making it work so far and long may you be happy together!