What I Learnt So Far
Lots have happened since my last submission. For those who didn’t read my last submission, I’m a 26 year old Melbourne boy. Not like most farangs, I took the time and effort in learning the language / culture before meeting a Thai girl. My last submission was titled, “The Stereotypical Viewpoint Of Dating A Thai Girl In Australia Is Depressing”.
Over a month ago, I broke up with my Thai girlfriend. During my time being single I found out more about myself, Thai culture and Thai women and other cultures. Don’t worry I didn’t get duped like most farangs. The relationship wasn’t right for me and I felt that there is someone else out there for me. The spark was there but we didn’t click. I loved her to bits but we both came from different worlds, her mum spoilt my ex-girlfriend her whole life and everything in my ex-girlfriend's life must be “suay”, beautiful. To me those two main factors I could never understand since I was bought up in a loving hard-working, middle class family.
Let me give an example, my ex-girlfriend was so shallow about looks that she looked down on ugly people and always called me ugly or fat when I weigh in at around 90kg… She wanted me to get cosmetic surgery on my teeth and thinks it's normal because she got a nose job done at the age of 16. Beauty is on the inside, I was always taught. Although we didn’t click, she was the best thing to come in my life, because she taught me a lot about myself, more than anyone else I met.
Of course breaking up with a Thai girl is never easy, the loss of face thing. A wise man once told me that it's impossible to win an argument with a Thai girl. Although the break up was entirely her fault and down to her personality, being spoilt and superficial, I still got the blame for breaking up…the loss of face thing, go figure.
So I became single again, thinking I was ugly, and remembering my ex-girlfriend once told me “that I’m too ugly to ever get another girlfriend” I was motivated to get another just to prove my ex-girlfriend wrong. Since I had good command of the language I had a date within the first week of being single. I’ve been single for over a month and I dated 3 different Thai girls, all were jai dee and improved my view on women in general again. One even cooked me a four course meal
One of the girls I dated was girlfriend material but I screwed up. I didn’t realized it until I screwed up, of course. Normally playing it cool and not showing too much interest in the girl, I forgot that rule and texted too much which of course shows border line clinginess. I should've known better but coming off a breakup my brain wasn’t thinking straight. I realized she was the type of girl I’ve been looking for a long time, but it was too late… She stopped texting back and I realized there was a gap. With my post break-up brain I wasn’t thinking right and forgot how their culture works. I showed proud and told her she was “suay mak girl and I like to take her out to expensive restaurant” in a desperate way to try get her to text back. She did reply, but only with, “I’m not a doll to take out to show off, not all Thai girls are looking for a good time and nightlife”. With my stupidity I forgot about how to act. I wrecked what could have been a good thing.
I don’t care. Life is short and if I start worrying about everything, I will miss life. Life is too great to waste time on “if” and “but”…
In the middle of all these little situations, I still managed to save a lonely middle-aged Australian women from getting scammed by “a handsum Balinese man she met on her two-week vacation in Bali”. I don’t know the lady well, I still don’t know her name, but her gratitude for me helping her brings a smile to my face and is probably one of the most rewarding things I have done this year. And I have accomplished a lot this year but nothing more rewarding than helping a sweet lady. She's a customer who comes in to my work who I loved talking to. She came back from Bali where she met a boy. She's pretty for her age and can get any man her age, but just like most farangs she lost her brain with sweet talk and a little fun in the sun. Within the first few seconds of her telling me about her new lover the warning signs were flashing. All my years of knowledge of what normally happens to uneducated farangs were sending off alarm bells. I brought the lady in my office and sat her down. For an hour, my knowledge poured out of my mouth. She was being brave, tears were flowing. It was hard for me since we were just acquaintances. She was struggling to comprehend what was happening since she had lived in Australia her whole life and didn’t know things like this happened. She was sweet nice lady. She was about to send him money so thank God I got to her first. She left my office with red eyes and a list of books to read, Private Dancer etc.
I felt really upset making her cry in my office plus I felt like a sleazy farang knowing all this stuff. I felt upset for a while making her cry, until she came into my work recently and thanked me for helping her. She called me a wise young man and the gratitude I received from her is more rewarding than all my accomplishments this year.
She's a nice lady and I hope she finds real true love. Isn’t that what we are all looking for at the end of the day?